Episode #131 – Come For Lukaku Analysis, Stay For The Phallic References

In Episode #131 of the Squeaky Bum Time Podcast, Mike and Laurent set a new personal record for dick jokes in an hour-long show! And okay fine, we mix in some football discussion in between:

  • Thomas Tuchel drops Romelu Lukaku for Chelsea’s big clash with Liverpool, and find their way back from two goals down to earn a draw
  • Arsenal are “unlucky” to be beaten late by Manchester City, despite only having 28% possession. Narratives can be deceiving, friends!
  • Manchester United get played off the park at Old Trafford by Wolves in a shocking 1-0 loss
  • Tottenham Hotspur survive Watford with Sanchez world tour revival
  • West Ham get off the schneid 2-3 (on the schneid?) in a thriller vs Palace (without Gallagher – sad.)
  • Everton’s despite DCL, Allan and Doucoure returning get got as Brighton take all 3 points at Goodison Park
  • Brentford continue their dominance from the Championship over Aston Villa with Gerrard facing his first bumpy patch

Follow us on Twitter (@SqueakyBum_Pod), Instagram (@SqueakyBumTimePod) and Facebook (Squeaky Bum Time Podcast) to stay up to date!

Part of the Chop Sports Media Network!

Transcript

00:01

hello and welcome to the squeaky bum

00:04

time podcast mike is back uh it is

00:07

tuesday january 4th in this episode

00:11

lukaku gets in his feelings city win the

00:14

league twice in a weekend but first mike

00:17

you were in love with tops uh how do you

00:20

feel about going back to tops uh are you

00:23

do you think you never wanted to be

00:24

where you are now or are you okay with

00:27

where you are now you just took the

00:28

money and went where you want it to go

00:30

like oh how do you how do you handle

00:32

that are you gonna just have a press

00:34

conference and tell everyone how you're

00:35

feeling about your old job

00:38

no i'm i i want everyone uh at the

00:40

executive level to be fired hard and

00:42

feathered and that's kind of how i

00:44

always feel about that company but um

00:46

you know you feel the same way

00:49

i was trying to go for a more like your

00:51

lukaku and you want to go back

00:54

oh oh oh

00:56

should we start the show over because i

00:57

had no [ __ ] no it's fine just keep

00:59

going just keep going my bit didn't work

01:01

because it wasn't oh i think uh you know

01:03

what's weird friends we talk about what

01:05

we're gonna talk about before we hit

01:06

record and then like we're like what the

01:08

[ __ ] you anyway um no

01:12

i'm

01:13

i'm so interested because i'm looking at

01:14

his stat line right now thanks for the

01:16

great segue and um

01:18

i just don't get it like

01:21

he

01:22

was better

01:24

on teams that had literally nothing but

01:26

him and anytime he was around a lot of

01:28

talent at chelsea at united now again at

01:32

chelsea

01:33

he's [ __ ]

01:34

he's by the way he's not we talked about

01:36

it what last week when he had that

01:38

thundering run uh and put everybody like

01:41

laid waste to people like he was a super

01:43

villain

01:44

um

01:45

yeah but i just i he i don't know he

01:49

catches too much [ __ ] like there's too

01:51

much expected of him

01:53

uh in this respect like

01:56

tukel doesn't want to play with a

01:57

striker then why did you buy a 100

01:59

million dollar striker

02:01

so let's let's get into it let me do the

02:03

scores then we'll go deep into lukaku

02:06

the less talked about my attempted bit

02:07

the better

02:10

and we'll go into it so first the score

02:13

score scores

02:14

we start the weekend with

02:17

city defeating arsenal 1-2 uh narrative

02:21

of this game is

02:22

arsenal were the greatest team ever that

02:24

never beat united and that never beat

02:26

city and city one two one and all the

02:28

penalties were against arsenal this was

02:30

a crowning of arsenal even though they

02:32

lost uh

02:34

tottenham beat watford i watch this game

02:36

this game was terrible but davidson

02:39

sanchez who

02:40

along with maura is the number one

02:43

revivalist and dyer for tottenham

02:46

tottenham have been great uh 3-2 palace

02:49

versus west ham this was palace playing

02:52

great west ham stealing it then really

02:55

stealing it then west then crystal

02:56

palace coming back then beloved

02:58

brentford grab a smash and grab against

03:01

aston villa this is gerard's first

03:04

moment where you feel like hey maybe you

03:05

should have won that game but you didn't

03:07

uh xg says brentford had 0.6 and villa

03:10

have 1.2 so villa dominated that game

03:12

but didn't win in a battle of the

03:14

relegation battles i kind of knew this

03:16

would happen leeds defeats burnley 3-1

03:19

leeds are good against terrible sit-in

03:21

teams that's their whole mo and then my

03:24

beloved brighton

03:26

crush everton they were fantastic uh xg

03:30

says they didn't crush them they [ __ ]

03:32

crushed them so bright and go into

03:34

freaking goodison and get the win but

03:36

but but the game of the day and

03:38

segwaying into our wait wait i'll do

03:42

wolves one

03:43

manchester united nil uh

03:46

united are not better they're not they

03:48

need to we need to dive into that later

03:50

in this time yeah but the game of the

03:52

weekend is 2-2 liverpool

03:55

we've got lukaku we've got the best half

03:57

of the season we've got up and down and

04:00

fighting and pulasic and liverpool back

04:03

to their swashbuckling pre-van dyke

04:05

pre-allison days but that's not gonna

04:08

get it done and city win the weekend

04:10

with the 2-2 draw

04:12

at stamford bridge

04:14

and we go into lukaku and we go

04:17

into

04:19

2-2

04:20

liverpool chelsea a good game to be fair

04:22

which looked i mean how many times have

04:24

you seen

04:25

salah and money just put the screws to

04:27

teams like like i actually think it was

04:29

one of our first episodes uh with the

04:31

keppa game with against money last year

04:34

yeah like

04:35

this looked like it could have been five

04:36

nil and and and

04:38

it

04:39

you know for all rights it could have

04:41

been even worse than that but

04:43

full marks to chelsea for fighting back

04:45

i i

04:46

i disagree i mean i thought that

04:49

i thought that liverpool got goals yes

04:52

uh one was a mistake mane salas was

04:55

incredible

04:56

but i thought that chelsea were

04:59

pretty good and really playing well she

05:02

went down two nil and then they got

05:05

the kovachic goal which let's completely

05:08

turn the team around right and let's be

05:10

very clear about this that goal

05:12

like

05:13

that's a million to one goal it's a it's

05:15

not it's not a good like i don't

05:18

i don't want to [ __ ] on kovich he scored

05:20

a worldie right yeah he didn't he meant

05:24

to do that

05:26

you know like like look at how the ball

05:29

strikes

05:30

the foot strikes the ball there yeah

05:31

like

05:32

it's so awkward that it worked out right

05:35

and it's kind of tailing far and away

05:37

from the goal which would make sense

05:39

based on the the die angle the angle you

05:41

hit it but like

05:42

yeah very very strange but to your point

05:44

when the up till nil

05:46

that's been the ammo many times like

05:48

liverpool has looked suspect but they

05:49

just keep going and going and letting on

05:51

and and all that so

05:52

um mendy stood tall for when he what he

05:55

could kept them in it gave them a shot

05:58

um they get a bounce

06:00

and all of a sudden i mean

06:01

porus

06:02

porous midfield from liverpool i mean oh

06:05

god they weren't awful in the midfield

06:08

who had the pass to postage was it

06:10

kovich

06:12

i don't you know what i can actually

06:13

look that up the pass

06:15

to

06:16

pulisic

06:17

because it was i bet you

06:20

it was kante from rudiger to kante yes

06:23

it was a little flip over the top kante

06:25

was incredible both he and kovachich

06:27

were just

06:28

magnificent but it looked like

06:31

they were doing so good i think that was

06:33

where um

06:35

konate was yeah that was konate's spot

06:37

and and you know they talked about how

06:39

matip wasn't there in the open like you

06:41

felt him on that goal because

06:44

it's not even just like pulisic ran past

06:46

him it's that he had 30 yards to be like

06:48

oh uh i'm [ __ ] really open right now

06:51

yeah yeah um and great finish by pulisic

06:54

as well uh and and he had missed a

06:56

couple

06:57

that that the chelsea faithful were not

07:01

pleased with him oh yeah uh now the one

07:03

thing that's interesting about this game

07:05

is it was the first safe standing game

07:08

officially in the premier league in

07:11

25 years it got the okay from the great

07:14

and powerful sainted liverpool uh

07:17

supporters trust who you know have the

07:20

they wear the weight of the 96

07:23

98 who were killed at hillsboro so they

07:25

said it was okay and people had been

07:27

standing anyway but the anecdotes from

07:30

the reporters at the game was that

07:33

it changed the energy of the game that

07:36

it was loud that it was an intense

07:39

atmosphere and the way that the both

07:41

teams played in the first half was an

07:44

intense

07:46

i don't even know the season an 18 is i

07:48

guess a:

07:52

because it was a frenetic back and forth

07:54

experience yeah let's be very clear this

07:56

is

07:57

a

07:58

heavyweight battle between two of the

08:00

best teams in the world mm-hmm the fans

08:03

are going to bring it for that game

08:05

everybody but it had extra it had extra

08:07

although there was no allison and i

08:09

don't know how to pronounce his name but

08:11

kelleher tell her yeah

08:13

um i have an anecdotal he looks like a

08:16

transitioned woman

08:19

or man

08:20

i don't know how you say it but he's got

08:22

this soft face this uh clearly

08:25

testosterone

08:26

uh injection beard and his hair is so

08:28

soft and he looks like a woman who's a

08:31

man who became a man and a goalkeeper

08:33

speaking very strange experiments very

08:35

strange also

08:37

no clop for liverpool which oh no clop

08:39

no clumps certainly but it was still

08:40

played in a cloppy in manner i didn't

08:42

feel like it's not like they're gonna

08:43

change their

08:45

it's it's the

08:47

it's hard to quantify how much a manager

08:49

or a coach missing in these times

08:51

actually

08:53

manifest itself into

08:55

results or parts of results or play or

08:57

whatever

08:58

uh i'm certain it's not zero um but it's

09:02

hard to really quantify beyond on fb

09:04

reference they have the manager listed

09:06

as dummy

09:09

which is pretty funny but i do have to

09:11

go back to one thing which i totally

09:13

forgot

09:14

in the first 20 seconds of the game you

09:17

had a controversy

09:19

monet near does smash his arm into

09:22

aspalaquetta's face he gets a yellow

09:24

there's no var check or there there is a

09:27

var

09:29

i just want to know why they didn't

09:31

pin him down in the post-match

09:34

conference press conference and go hey

09:36

explain yourself why wasn't that a red

09:38

card because they do that to harry kane

09:40

every [ __ ] time something like that

09:42

happens um well they don't they don't

09:44

interview money because he doesn't speak

09:46

english i don't think yeah well um i

09:48

think harry kane barely speaks english i

09:50

think a lot of i think the english

09:51

players get a lot of or players who

09:53

speak english well have to actually do a

09:55

lot of talking that they probably don't

09:56

want to do uh i'm glad it wasn't a red

09:59

who the [ __ ] wants a red in the first

10:00

minute of the game it was a forearm i

10:03

don't i don't

10:06

i don't

10:08

so

10:09

i don't want to talk about all this

10:10

stuff as this thing but just as a

10:12

general thing

10:14

i don't believe that the founders and

10:16

the controllers and the creators of

10:18

these games

10:19

intended

10:21

the rules to be applied

10:25

by the letter of the law

10:27

i think it was intended to be applied

10:30

by the referee in the discretion of a

10:33

game to ensure that this gentlemanly

10:36

contest was played in a fair manner

10:40

and as the history of these leagues has

10:42

gone on and become more professional and

10:45

more professional are you ready for the

10:46

stat of the day that's going to blow

10:47

your mind

10:48

first cards only came out in:

10:51

the world cup there were no cards before

10:53

that yeah

10:56

so this idea that oh this is a red it's

10:58

always been a red this is oh it not true

11:01

football was played with referees simply

11:05

refereeing without any conversation with

11:08

the stans of the fans and were there

11:10

famous games where there were fights on

11:11

the field

11:12

yeah there were

11:14

but the idea that but this

11:16

professionalism of football

11:19

trying to connect with flow

11:21

and 24-hour coverage and slow down and

11:23

slo-mo it doesn't work nobody wants reds

11:26

in the first five minutes of the game

11:28

nobody wanted the [ __ ] harry kane

11:30

ball to be a red i would have much

11:32

rather watch that champions league final

11:33

that you had without that penalty and a

11:35

red first game like 37 seconds by the

11:39

way because that is not

11:40

what we want we want

11:43

we want

11:44

accuracy that is a representation of the

11:47

game we want to see not a

11:50

these are the rules and this is what

11:53

the infractions are because otherwise

11:54

why bother because right because

11:57

liverpool spurs was a really fun game

12:00

yeah kelsey liverpool was in i'd argue

12:02

for at least half of it an even more fun

12:04

game yeah um and what we got out of that

12:08

as

12:09

listen

12:10

we both there are you don't like

12:12

liverpool i don't like chelsea whatever

12:13

but as neutrals relatively speaking it

12:16

was on you couldn't take your eyes off

12:18

it yeah it was fantastic that is why you

12:21

watch these things right it is for

12:23

entertainment

12:24

yeah

12:25

it is entertainment and it is it's more

12:28

and less it's the least important

12:29

important thing in the world of course

12:31

and we brought it up so now i have to

12:33

but like

12:34

you talk to any self-respecting

12:35

tottenham supporter and they won't be

12:38

mad

12:39

that we lost to liverpool in the

12:41

champions league final we'll be

12:43

we're upset that we we never got a fair

12:45

shot

12:46

and

12:48

that's the thing that like

12:50

we

12:51

we expected to lose that game we had

12:53

hope i mean we had a miracle of miracles

12:55

going into this [ __ ] thing we could

12:56

do anything but it was taken away from

12:58

us before we even got a chance to sip a

13:00

beer and enjoy it right so i mean it's

13:02

not the same but it's the same it's not

13:04

the same but it's the sort of the same

13:05

feeling that city fans have was just

13:07

like why'd you not play fred indeed

13:09

why'd you play fernandinho and then well

13:11

yeah yeah

13:12

like what you know i mean

13:14

but give me the give me the opportunity

13:16

to see the team that i expect right like

13:18

right yeah chance don't don't cut my

13:20

legs out before the game starts it was a

13:22

great game uh very fantastic worth

13:25

watching the first half for anyway

13:27

chelsea really popped the ball around

13:29

mistakes were made chalabaw i don't know

13:31

what he was doing he did something weird

13:33

the salah goal is so like

13:35

it's interesting it's almost like

13:36

there's this new trend of

13:38

knee high

13:40

um

13:41

balls that are coming at a player and i

13:44

saw robertson finish

13:46

a goal before he get the gordy hall

13:48

hat-trick against tottenham um

13:50

he he finished it with his head and it

13:52

was like dude you can use your feet what

13:54

the [ __ ] are you doing because i because

13:57

mike did you know i played soccer for

13:58

one month i did

14:00

it's really hard to know what to do oh i

14:03

mean i get the feeling and i i'm i'm

14:06

look at me you decide to use your head

14:08

and all of a sudden you're halfway on

14:09

the ground right look at me with my fat

14:11

ass you know criticizing world class

14:14

football players but at the same time

14:15

like

14:16

i guess he probably thought if i i can't

14:19

play it back with my foot to my keeper

14:22

so i'm gonna try and like head it

14:23

towards him so he can we can kind of

14:25

take the the pin out of this yeah yeah

14:28

maybe i guess yeah but like

14:30

look i mean it was it was a it's a great

14:33

it was a [ __ ] decision and and it ended

14:35

up in the back of his in i thought he

14:36

played really pretty well for the most

14:37

part of the game after that which i was

14:39

happy to see again oh

14:40

challabah yeah i i frankly dislike both

14:43

teams i wanted them to draw but at the

14:45

same time like i don't want to [ __ ]

14:47

see that kid you know get buried like

14:49

that at home so i was happy to see him

14:52

have at least a decent run of it out

14:54

there yeah i thought alonso was

14:57

typical really really he was aggressive

14:59

he was just part of the whole game

15:01

everywhere just drunk driving everywhere

15:03

in the future yeah looking handsome no

15:05

sweat on him at all

15:07

and he's just perfect

15:10

um basically he's he's pers he's perseus

15:13

from clash of the titans the:

15:15

version of harry hamlin he's very harry

15:17

hamlin

15:19

jota

15:20

he was anonymous

15:23

i thought he was all right early on he

15:25

had a couple of really good passes to

15:26

salah but like with it's almost as if

15:29

like you can't have all three singing at

15:32

the same time no well i think in that

15:34

game they were getting killed in the

15:35

midfield that was a game they needed

15:37

firmino

15:39

so bad like they did deathly needed from

15:41

you know because milner and henderson

15:44

were just getting like oh miller got

15:46

absolutely

15:48

decimated that couldn't get near anybody

15:50

no no and i think that's one of the

15:52

weird things it's a great game it was a

15:54

kante game it was a kovach game petered

15:56

out in the second half it felt like it

15:58

petered out more than it did because

16:00

there was a lot going on in the second

16:01

half but they clearly the energy was

16:03

gone and then i think there was a little

16:05

bit of a realization at the end of the

16:07

game that they're both [ __ ] because

16:09

city uh as we transition into the the

16:13

arsenal game that was ridiculous

16:15

narrative game as well as we

16:17

transitioned into that game they both

16:19

knew that they had to win to stay in it

16:22

um we probably shouldn't transition away

16:24

from lukaku yet lukaku should have been

16:26

in this game for those we don't know we

16:28

kind of touched on it really quickly

16:30

essentially lukaku

16:32

got in trouble because of a

16:35

interview he did with sky italy where he

16:38

basically does like the italian i love

16:41

you baby i want to come home he want to

16:44

go back to inter he wanted to go back i

16:46

love you in term i want to go back why

16:48

am i at the chelsea i wanna go back in

16:50

the inter so that's basically what he

16:52

does uh in in his broken um

16:56

congolese uh belgian italian he

16:59

basically professes his love for inter

17:00

he wants to go back he somewhat

17:02

complains about tuko but not not too bad

17:05

just it wasn't good i wanted to pl i

17:07

want to play a certain way

17:08

and tucle

17:10

really puts the hammer down and it's

17:11

just like you know what [ __ ] you you're

17:13

not playing they needed him

17:15

and

17:16

that was a mistake

17:21

yes i mean

17:23

if you're bringing on calum hudson odoi

17:25

you need to bring on romelu lukaku right

17:28

because like we said before they have

17:29

six guys that are the same yeah and that

17:32

was the thing is that like you finally

17:34

have that striker um but it's almost as

17:37

if he is so much happier having heaverts

17:39

in the false nine dude haveritz was

17:41

awful yeah

17:43

and but he's he is streaky as [ __ ]

17:47

yes he just shows up and gets his goal

17:49

and you're like oh howard's did

17:50

something i thought pluseek was good i

17:52

thought you know i thought

17:54

i thought uh mount is always he's always

17:57

he's he's chelsea's best player to be

17:59

honest pulisic was was active and did

18:01

that same thing where he just holds the

18:03

ball for a fraction too long and gets

18:05

clattered and you're like oh that's why

18:06

you get hurt all the time you're like a

18:08

f a [ __ ] version of neymar yeah who just

18:11

gets crunched you're like dude just let

18:13

it go

18:15

so he and pulisic had a couple of good

18:17

chances and that did get his goal but i

18:20

i didn't think havertz did much they're

18:21

all the sort of same player these sort

18:23

of buzzy guys that needs a focal point

18:26

and without without lukaku chelsea just

18:28

don't have that couple minutes i talked

18:30

about how pool of sich was wide open

18:31

down the middle and and walked to that

18:34

really nice finish right before half

18:36

time oh and then kelleher had that one

18:37

save early yeah he took that extra touch

18:40

when that trans guy

18:42

did the save that i that i talked about

18:44

but if you if you have pulisic in that

18:47

role right and going back to what we

18:49

talked about at the top with like lukaku

18:51

having that menacing beast run listen

18:54

you want to punish him don't start him

18:57

right

18:59

you keep him entire

19:01

because

19:02

you see konate you see the whites of his

19:04

eyes he's [ __ ] worried out there he's

19:06

they're all exhausted can you imagine

19:08

bringing lukaku on it that's what i'm

19:10

saying they're [ __ ] dead

19:12

when did they bring on hudson odoi i

19:14

can't i don't remember exactly i have it

19:16

here

19:17

um adoi comes on

19:20

on 79.

19:21

wow if you bring in

19:23

if you bring in

19:25

lukaku for the last 10 15 minutes of

19:27

that game where's the goal he maybe he

19:29

does maybe he doesn't but he certainly

19:31

puts van dyke and kanate under a [ __ ]

19:33

ton of duress by the way um

19:35

i don't know vince

19:39

starting him i actually agree with that

19:41

you need all your guys

19:43

you need all your dicks swinging in the

19:44

same direction all right

19:46

i get that but you you [ __ ] slap him

19:49

on the wrist you pull him into the back

19:50

room you go don't you [ __ ] do that to

19:52

me again i have to have a show of

19:54

strength we're good here now right

19:56

yeah you sit his ass down he becomes a

19:59

storyline for the first half and you

20:00

bring him on yeah i don't get it yeah he

20:03

cut off his nose to spite his face

20:05

basically and now they're all drew and

20:07

you know listen

20:09

and this goes into

20:11

do we want to i think we go into city

20:13

arsenal yeah arsenal narrative here is

20:17

arsenal were fantastic for 40 minutes

20:19

shame what a shame uh but you know what

20:21

i watched it back and

20:23

city were really good it's just

20:25

city

20:26

city getting dominated is a 50 50 game

20:28

because 70 city performances are always

20:32

70 30. so yes arsenal played well

20:35

i did not like

20:38

the calls that we got i didn't want to

20:39

win that game that way but granit xhaka

20:42

is a [ __ ] and he pulled someone's shirt

20:45

and

20:46

bernardo knows what to do if you pull

20:48

your shirt and the other one is the

20:50

odoguard

20:52

odergaard foul from edison

20:54

he stepped on edison it was super close

20:57

the ref made the call it's not a turn a

21:01

call you overturn it just isn't right so

21:04

so what what do you everything like

21:06

there's a lot of narrative about the

21:07

referees being terrible terrible

21:08

terrible terrible the fact is under the

21:11

cold light of day 48 hours later all the

21:13

calls were right

21:15

so yeah

21:16

i don't know

21:17

what to say but apparently and i didn't

21:19

see this

21:20

the commentators in england for that

21:23

game were

21:25

um

21:26

steve mcmanaman who's a liverpool legend

21:29

and um

21:31

and uh martin keown who is this like

21:33

arsenal lifer and they're just like

21:36

annihilating city just like they're

21:38

destroying football in the commentary

21:40

like this is a disgrace they're like

21:43

this is the kind of [ __ ] that city fans

21:45

have to go like i'm not a conspiracy

21:47

theory person i get it the fact is

21:49

cities narrative is not compelling we're

21:52

not a top four fan base in the world

21:55

we're not a toxic

21:56

relatively speaking dog [ __ ] compared to

21:59

city over the last decade and that it

22:00

doesn't matter is this there's just not

22:03

enough historical value there no no and

22:05

we're not a legacy club i get it but you

22:07

know what in 40 in 30 years when we have

22:10

all the glory and you haven't won and

22:11

you're holding on to:

22:14

good luck enjoy it have fun that's all

22:17

we're we're going to win five leagues in

22:18

seven years

22:20

i'm trying to find who was there seven i

22:22

think it's seven and eleven what oh it

22:24

was palace

22:25

okay

22:26

so okay

22:28

so we're gonna talk about

22:30

the two losses that manchester city has

22:32

and then we're gonna compare it

22:35

statistically to what that valiant

22:37

arsenal performance was um october 30th

22:41

crystal palace two an early goal from

22:43

zaha and a late one from gallagher this

22:45

is the game where lepore gets sent off i

22:47

think right before or right after half

22:49

time um after and it and it all kind of

22:51

just unravels from there they get a late

22:53

one whatever even with 10 man manchester

22:56

city

22:58

uh

22:59

68

23:00

possession

23:01

palace 32

23:03

three shots on target again playing a

23:05

full half of football with an extra man

23:09

three shots on target okay they win two

23:11

no

23:12

all right that's nice

23:13

august 15th el duchico part one for the

23:16

year uh opening day no harry kane right

23:19

for spurs against city

23:23

we talked about how this the stadium

23:24

came alive and how great it was and all

23:26

that stuff so north london versus

23:28

manchester city part one um

23:31

shots on target three

23:34

possession 34

23:37

spurs win one nil spurs were gritty they

23:39

were great at but they were they were

23:41

lucky to get the win right when we

23:42

talked about it

23:44

that you know loris made some amazing

23:46

saves early kept them in the game they

23:48

get their goal and they locked it down

23:50

they did what they needed to do rip nuno

23:53

um

23:54

oh the good old days all the good old

23:55

days

23:56

january 1st

23:58

arsenal one manchester city two okay

24:02

arsenal two shots on target seven total

24:04

28

24:06

possession

24:08

i mean

24:09

okay

24:10

they go yeah but what about the first

24:12

the first half you know they were

24:13

hitting us it was a break thing it was

24:16

uh it was saka and martinelli listen i

24:19

watched the game city were in trouble

24:20

they were on the ropes by the way xg

24:23

city do not have a loss in xg oh i

24:26

believe that yeah they their their loss

24:29

to palace was a draw was 1.1 each with

24:31

by the way again with a man down for the

24:33

[ __ ] entire second half so you're

24:35

gonna tell me that of those three games

24:38

of the ones i just described you in fact

24:39

i shouldn't have told you the scores

24:41

right

24:42

that arsenal was a valiant effort in

24:45

defeat it sounds like liverpool redux

24:48

you know it's like well i mean i i think

24:49

the other thing is just

24:51

it's all narrative it's all context

24:54

right liverpool in the first in the

24:56

first the first three games of the

24:57

season arsenal get annihilated every

25:00

time they play a big six team they get

25:02

destroyed right city had put five on

25:04

them it was a it would the narrative was

25:07

a coming-of-age game

25:09

right hey we're here

25:11

i i it doesn't matter whether it's real

25:13

or not no no no it is you're absolutely

25:15

right it's very

25:17

unfortunately real but i just find it

25:20

annoying so no not even just amusing

25:23

from such a banter club that has the

25:26

balls to sit here and say hey you guys

25:27

beat city on on opening day right like

25:30

without harry kane put it in the trophy

25:32

case like suck my dick you're doing the

25:34

exact same [ __ ] thing so i don't want

25:36

to hear it from you [ __ ] worthless

25:38

lot because you like you know what 2-1

25:41

city win oh put it in the trophy case

25:43

douchebags it was great it was great to

25:45

get the goal late uh city didn't play

25:47

well they didn't deserve but we never

25:49

get the thing is city don't get this win

25:51

this is not the type of games we win we

25:53

we [ __ ] them up and lose and whatever

25:55

okay let's talk about injury time but

25:57

rodri but rodrigo into the arsenal end

26:00

and taking his shirt off and just [ __ ]

26:02

flying [ __ ] you oh

26:05

that's so not city it was so crazy it

26:08

was so it was so personal

26:10

yeah he was like so [ __ ] you

26:13

it was

26:14

dare i say

26:15

it it had hints of neil mopey

26:18

yes my god neil mopay did it did and so

26:21

we talked about injury time okay you're

26:22

right extra time for a second

26:24

rodri 93rd minute winner

26:27

right to beat arsenal meanwhile just

26:29

down the road

26:31

divinson sanchez in the 96th minute

26:34

saves tottenham's bacon while they were

26:36

away but i forget what it doesn't matter

26:38

um

26:39

and

26:40

now

26:42

spurs are two points behind arsenal with

26:45

two games in hand for fourth place so

26:47

how about you guys chew on that

26:50

top five world coach right with with

26:52

kante so so do me a favor gunners if

26:55

you've made it to this point in the show

26:57

which i'm so confident you haven't even

26:59

though i've sat on the fact that i

27:01

[ __ ] hate your existence to this

27:02

point

27:04

suck

27:05

my balls because there's two points

27:07

separating you and me and we can duff

27:10

both of these games and draw them and

27:12

we're still going to be ahead of you

27:15

we're still going to be let's just let's

27:16

just keep in mind right now in the xg

27:18

per 90 tottenham are now in the top four

27:22

yeah right at a half a goal per game

27:24

right absolutely so you're actually

27:27

on quality of performances sure in the

27:30

top four and and this goes back to what

27:32

we've said a handful of times over the

27:34

course of the first four months of the

27:36

season is that there's no such thing as

27:39

a fourth place team this year there's

27:41

only a bunch of seventh place teams and

27:43

unfortunately

27:45

or to put it more positively there's a

27:47

bunch of fourth places

27:50

that alleges that one of these teams

27:51

belongs in champions league and none of

27:53

them [ __ ] do okay yeah but you're as

27:55

good as a bad jerk but the thing is

27:57

i just i take i take umbridge with that

27:59

because yeah

28:01

into the champions league they will

28:03

spend the money to get a champions

28:05

leagueish squad oh how foolish you are

28:08

[Laughter]

28:11

oh

28:12

and speaking of champions league squads

28:14

we should we should talk about man

28:16

united who played today and got their

28:19

ass is kicked

28:21

that was the biggest ass kicking of a

28:23

one goal game

28:26

and from from a team that does not

28:28

attack that sucks that doesn't attack

28:30

and additionally can't finish right

28:33

we've talked about it all year are they

28:35

are the worst they're the opposite of

28:36

mopey they're the yeah they're the third

28:39

worst gold gold return so far this year

28:42

yes they are bad wow i didn't know that

28:45

yeah um second best defense as well

28:47

obviously which is why they are where

28:48

they are but why they where they are i

28:50

mean yes

28:51

we talked at length about how a domitra

28:53

or he couldn't hit water if he fell out

28:54

of a [ __ ] vote he came on he made he

28:56

caught he he caused the problem he

28:58

always causes problems he just doesn't

28:59

cause problems that end up with the

29:01

score being changed yeah i think that

29:02

jimenez thing for them is really bad

29:04

like he can't

29:06

i thought he was better today

29:08

he was taking shots but he was

29:10

i don't know he he feels like there is

29:12

but but but the the the thing was was

29:15

that the ragnarok thing's not working

29:17

there was no bruno fernandez

29:19

like united were

29:21

only-ish at at best yeah the other cool

29:25

part of this is like phil jones out of

29:28

the [ __ ] wilderness

29:30

comes back

29:31

after two years injured whatever broken

29:34

legs

29:34

takes harry maguire's place and it was

29:37

their best player

29:39

like he was all over it

29:41

he did a classic phil jones face on the

29:44

floor boot to the face thing with the

29:46

crazy face he does that ronaldo does

29:49

nothing

29:50

united are still

29:52

fluttering and flustering i'm

29:54

surprised frankly i thought that rang

29:57

nick would grab something out of this

29:58

team maybe he's not the right coach

30:01

maybe he only needs he needs to be at

30:03

under 23 teams maybe he's more of

30:06

a a a technocratic kind of guy and maybe

30:11

united need inspiration i don't know but

30:14

i will say and you know it and i know it

30:17

when they signed verand and cristiano

30:20

this was a top four we're gonna win the

30:22

league club and now

30:24

that team whatever the version of that

30:26

team there was is gone and it's not

30:28

gonna happen like it's lofts that

30:30

they're still disappeared i still think

30:33

they're

30:34

they of arsenal west ham spurs united

30:37

and you have to say wolves because they

30:38

just beat them um i think united are

30:41

comfortably the most likely to finish in

30:43

fourth out of that group i don't think

30:44

so anymore i did when i looked at the

30:46

schedule but now i don't think so yeah

30:49

that's kind of i mean

30:51

they've still got a game in hand on

30:52

arsenal and west ham so and basically

30:54

erase the the deficit that they have

30:57

their biggest competition is spurs which

30:59

that wasn't a joke right like i

31:01

genuinely think it's between spurs and

31:03

united for four at this point well

31:04

here's the thing like remember we were

31:06

talking about all those games right the

31:08

easy games that they had brentford

31:09

brighton now cancelled so they didn't

31:11

get those easy gimmies they drew against

31:13

newcastle that was supposed to be a

31:15

gimme yeah they did beat burnley fine

31:18

but now they have west ham

31:21

coming up

31:22

burnley

31:23

well southampton leads yeah they still

31:25

have this [ __ ] schedule still i mean

31:28

it's just like how do they not [ __ ]

31:30

get this done i'm not too concerned

31:32

about them they have dropped they have

31:34

left points on on the on the table and

31:35

by the way so is spurs recently um

31:38

yeah but that was that was that that

31:40

draw you guys got was that was a win you

31:42

got this i mean that was not oh it

31:44

wasn't a win because i bet on them to

31:46

win and they don't give you uh uh more

31:49

right but you had a whole half

31:52

with a man down like that was tough

31:54

that was tough

31:55

you know what you still need erickson i

31:57

hear he's available

31:58

yeah he is for free

32:01

um yeah except if he dies on the feet

32:04

he's after he dies and you have a bit of

32:06

an insurance mess on your hands um

32:09

yeah no i mean

32:11

i just oh god

32:13

i look

32:15

give me one uh one game for united i

32:18

forget exactly who they were can't like

32:20

cancel so they're two in the hole

32:23

they're only one on on their top four

32:26

rivals if you will and like i said one

32:28

less than spurs

32:29

uh as far as uh games enhanced i think

32:32

the question is is like i always focus

32:34

on that too much by the way are they no

32:35

yeah are they better than west ham as a

32:38

team yes no no i think they are as a

32:40

unit no [ __ ] chance

32:43

no way you know why

32:45

west ham do not have ronaldo they're

32:48

still in europe they don't have a

32:49

ronaldo

32:50

and they're and as a function of europe

32:53

they're gonna get and and with all the

32:55

games that they're gonna have to make up

32:56

in the back half of the year they are

32:58

gonna be taxed

33:00

a lot

33:01

united

33:02

is going to be able to weather that

33:04

storm way more comfortably

33:07

um and there's nothing that has shown

33:10

this season that that unit of 15 16

33:14

players

33:15

has in them to play as a unit and win

33:18

games without

33:20

de gea saving their ass and cristiano

33:22

maniacally trying to get goals for

33:24

himself this is what i'm talking about i

33:26

don't think it takes that much more to

33:27

finish ahead uh that much more than

33:29

literally that

33:31

[Laughter]

33:32

to finish ahead of spurs west ham and

33:34

arsenal i don't i genuinely don't we

33:36

have to i think we have to assume though

33:38

of

33:39

we have to assume

33:40

that

33:43

arteta

33:44

who i put in as coach of the year for

33:46

the first half sorry

33:48

it's fair

33:50

mine would have been that

33:53

that they will beat anyone beneath them

33:57

right all right

33:59

and that spurs are now

34:02

at a

34:04

a real top four like they're at

34:06

pochettino

34:08

bad poche like middle pochettino yeah

34:10

not a top ascendant

34:12

middle pochettino yeah the the the

34:14

80-point pochettino team sure yeah right

34:17

or maybe even the 78 teams right that's

34:19

gonna be if you get to 70 75 you're

34:24

gonna get 75 would be killer because i

34:26

think i think chelsea will finish on 75

34:29

like they're gonna slip

34:31

but if you get to 70 you're gonna get

34:33

that fourth place team

34:36

i mean

34:37

the thing that i still have reservations

34:39

about with spurs and you saw it two

34:40

games in a row now including one where

34:42

they didn't they didn't have equal

34:44

competition for a half an hour or a full

34:46

half things like that happen right the

34:48

non-finishing stuff

34:50

it's not even the non-finishing stuff

34:52

it's the uh let's play it out to the

34:54

right oh no let's play it out to the

34:56

left they're literally abandoning the

34:58

entire middle of the field because they

34:59

don't have a passenger they don't have

35:01

anyone they don't have a locksmith as

35:03

they say right they don't have anybody

35:05

isn't it who's got some patience

35:07

supposed to be la salso right yeah don't

35:09

even get me started with him no it's

35:11

vlogging

35:12

it's not supposed to be

35:13

right and so

35:15

the weird thing is that they

35:18

they

35:18

[Music]

35:20

look as much as we'll say they miss

35:22

erickson what they miss is musa dembele

35:25

because

35:26

musa dembele made that's five years ago

35:29

though dude yeah dude that's my [ __ ]

35:31

point

35:31

[Laughter]

35:33

no it was three years ago it was it was

35:34

it was january what about this

35:37

play

35:39

kane as the 10 just do it

35:42

just do it go by go by lukaku let him

35:46

let him or let him come back without a

35:48

joke about that

35:49

just play berguin's son and maura and

35:52

let kane play deep

35:54

yeah he's not he's not

35:56

yes he's a finisher but

35:58

he's the one

35:59

he's the one

36:01

he doesn't need to be in the box trying

36:03

to [ __ ] get his head on things and

36:04

all that yeah i know but the thing is

36:06

that his instinct is he's a he's a

36:08

tremendous pesser and i've said that a

36:10

million times on the show but his i

36:12

still want him being

36:14

if you think about like it's too low

36:16

is he challenging and not joking to be a

36:18

nine and a half not wow anything i think

36:20

he created it before ian actually did

36:22

but like but does he is is he really a

36:24

nine and a half no he doesn't want to be

36:26

he ha he he always has become one out of

36:29

out of necessity i'm making jokes you're

36:32

not going with me on it jesus oh god

36:34

damn it

36:36

would you we

36:39

we don't rehearse these bits you just

36:41

come at me with them and i'm like what

36:43

the [ __ ] are you talking about

36:45

jesus wow you're supposed to you're

36:47

supposed to get my callbacks that you

36:49

nacho it being a nine and a half

36:52

no i remember but it's yeah jesus christ

36:55

i'm sitting here going through my time

36:57

on ptsd and you're making dick jokes man

36:59

i just i'm not on it i'm not

37:01

they're good dick jokes

37:03

i know they're football dick jokes

37:04

that's why i know wears long shorts i

37:06

get it i know i know

37:09

i'm trying to bring in other teams to

37:11

the party i want all the fans involved

37:15

brighton and and mcallister

37:17

and the whole gang uh i'm ready for all

37:20

of it good but yeah you know i hear you

37:22

i hear you on spurs

37:24

and trying to get that creative player

37:26

and i think that's always going to be a

37:28

problem with kante because he needs to

37:29

it needs to come from the wing backs and

37:31

your wing backs are not good enough yeah

37:34

it's weird like i think regalon is the

37:36

right one but maybe not yet

37:39

so and emerson has never played wing

37:40

back he's 22 years old um he's doing a

37:43

fine job i think

37:45

um his crossing is a little shaky

37:48

i he's not okay but yeah he's not trent

37:51

alexander arnold or

37:52

yeah every [ __ ] time somebody buys a

37:55

fullback they're like

37:57

is he the best is he yeah he's crossing

38:00

pretty good yeah you know he'll have the

38:01

occasional assist oh my and they do one

38:04

thing in the first six weeks of their

38:06

tenure at the team they're like holy

38:08

[ __ ] this guy's unbelievable he's just

38:10

all right he's pretty good every

38:11

fullback including trends including

38:14

cancelo

38:15

is

38:17

a liability somewhere or they're gonna

38:19

have dips in form or what like

38:22

remember that um i don't know 18 month

38:25

period where trent alexander arnold

38:26

looked like he was one of the guys from

38:28

[ __ ] space jam that the monstars took

38:31

all their [ __ ] talent like he was

38:33

charles barkley in fact no forget space

38:35

jam he's just charles barkley playing

38:37

golf right like that's what he looked

38:39

like for a full year and a [ __ ] half

38:41

yeah and now he's back to world class

38:43

again can you get trippy back i think

38:44

he's available dude i mean he's going

38:47

he's going to new castle 25 really sure

38:49

some weird [ __ ] happened on the way out

38:51

there and i i always wanted to know more

38:53

about that

38:54

yeah he got in trouble what happened was

38:56

he got busted for

38:57

gambling and some some spanish rules and

39:00

they put them on the bench and then and

39:03

oh no no i didn't mean i didn't mean it

39:05

at atletico yeah but i remember that

39:07

when he left tottenham he he he said

39:09

some [ __ ] leaving going out the door but

39:12

by the way anti-semitic towards levy no

39:14

i wish like i wish more i wish it was

39:17

about levy

39:19

it was it was about how some he alluded

39:21

to pochettino and there was a sort of a

39:23

disconnect there and he was his guy

39:25

um he was the one who who played him

39:28

over kyle walker near the end and he's

39:29

the one that that basically kyle walker

39:32

threw a hissy fit in the last game at

39:33

white hart lane because he wouldn't play

39:34

him and he's like [ __ ] you i'm going to

39:36

sydney

39:37

um

39:38

but no i don't know what happened there

39:40

but it was also the that was calcified

39:42

pochettino so who the [ __ ] really knows

39:44

can i can i talk about can i talk about

39:46

west ham versus crystal palace because

39:49

that was a fun game it was loud there

39:51

was no gallagher uh made me sad but west

39:54

ham scored some freaking

39:56

badass goals uh lanzini with the

39:59

three-touch

40:01

boom into the top corner yeah why don't

40:03

spurs get him

40:04

because he's unless tim no not anymore

40:07

he's not he's had two three good games

40:08

in a row here yeah but you could get

40:10

four now's instead one of those [ __ ]

40:12

guys is available anyway you know west

40:13

ham isn't gonna give us a pot to piss in

40:16

i know i know but i i like that game

40:18

because um one chels uh uh crystal

40:21

palace were really dominant um there was

40:24

a

40:25

another one of these [ __ ] handballs

40:27

uh luca milivojevic is on his own

40:30

takes a couple touches at the edge of

40:32

the box it hits his hand they went to

40:34

var to review and be like oh hand ball

40:36

penalty i was like you know is this what

40:38

we want nobody wants this nobody wants

40:41

it

40:42

nobody wants it anyway that goes back to

40:44

our previous thing but a fun game in

40:46

west ham get back off on they're riding

40:48

the schneider they are schneiding it up

40:51

uh so they schneid they live another day

40:53

they're up 3-1 but it got a little bit

40:55

hairy for them i like crystal palace a

40:57

lot like even even without my guy

41:00

gallagher

41:01

they're good and i think

41:03

um vieira

41:05

was one of these guys where he's like is

41:07

he gonna be here three months and get

41:08

fired or is he gonna be there for three

41:09

years i think he's past the he's gonna

41:12

get fired in three months period so

41:14

he'll just be there for three years now

41:16

hanging out and there's a lot of there's

41:18

a lot of like

41:20

arsenal sharks floating in the water all

41:22

trying to like get that i feel like

41:24

there's like a secret

41:26

thing of like who's gonna get the city

41:28

job brewing that's going around and i i

41:31

i alluded to it i made a joke these

41:34

united fans that are like

41:36

you know some guy uh talked about

41:40

phil jones having

41:41

the united dna you know wanting to win

41:44

because he played so well i'm like you

41:45

mean

41:47

yeah exactly

41:48

but yeah he he showed the fight like

41:50

this this the ephemeral united way thing

41:53

that goes on that comes up and and some

41:55

city fans like will you stop with the

41:56

dna i'm like hey wait a minute

41:59

we're going to be talking about dna

42:01

after we [ __ ] poach [ __ ] grand

42:03

potter from everton after he wins the fa

42:06

cup and we're gonna be like lamenting

42:07

that cole palmer has the dna from pep

42:10

after he had two injury-riddled seasons

42:12

at blackburn like let's we're gonna do

42:14

it too so don't don't [ __ ] hammer on

42:16

people for dna we're going to be like

42:18

pep dna is going to be like our thing in

42:20

the:

42:23

pep dna oh my god

42:25

well we're like running through arteta

42:27

and grand potter gets fired and we're

42:29

like what's happening i'm like because

42:30

pep was [ __ ] amazing and we're going

42:32

to be talking about pep dna for [ __ ]

42:34

ever and i just know what's going to

42:36

happen and i'm afraid no that's fair

42:38

like you you got you have guys that are

42:39

like touch dna

42:41

you're you're living off it still you're

42:43

like sonny and and kane they still got

42:46

the punch dna

42:50

yeah

42:51

oh god nuno didn't have the patch dna he

42:54

gave you guys like identity in this

42:56

little like captured moment that now

42:58

becomes your identity for like the next

43:00

10 years until you get enough you talked

43:02

about it and i'll do it again real quick

43:03

but it was basically it was the ethos of

43:06

the club plus success

43:08

very rare this is the only thing that

43:09

matters it's all [ __ ] no no no no

43:12

but like that was the thing is that it

43:13

it wasn't right and it was like

43:15

um

43:16

avb and it was all these like managers

43:19

who by the way avb wasn't that bad of a

43:21

manager um

43:23

well

43:25

for what he had

43:26

i mean he had gareth bale though that

43:28

was fun but like he did do the bail

43:30

seven that was under his watch okay six

43:32

seven fair well yeah fair but i mean you

43:34

could argue that i mean okay no i'm not

43:37

going to uh don't talk to me about

43:38

[ __ ] paulinho

43:40

and [ __ ] nah i'm just going to talk

43:42

about it

43:44

coco how's he doing he's doing well he's

43:47

he's hurt again i'm pretty sure but uh

43:49

but you know

43:50

he was crushing it uh he had like five

43:53

goals in the first like three games he

43:54

would have got a red in that liverpool

43:56

game oh

43:57

he would have got a red

44:00

he would have got a red and if he played

44:02

i would have made a lot of money

44:04

[Laughter]

44:13

yeah that would have been [ __ ]

44:15

legendary yeah i love you know what

44:17

let's take a step i'm gonna take a step

44:18

back you know what's great about our

44:19

sort of football growth we're starting

44:21

to have weird history with guys and it's

44:23

starting to like have time i'm just like

44:25

wow i looked at something like i've

44:27

really i watched alvaro negredo play

44:31

10 years ago yeah yeah

44:34

so it's feeling good it's like i'm

44:35

starting to get like my don mattingly's

44:36

like that's right we've got our old

44:38

contextual value now right i'm like

44:40

right david silva is so good yeah yeah

44:44

all right hey let's let's keep it with a

44:47

a call back throwback if you will and

44:49

let's talk about how it's the first game

44:50

that you alluded to in the open that

44:52

gerard loses were you like hmm

44:55

right like they drop they drop a one-nil

44:57

lead they lose two one to brentford

44:59

and this is this is an inflection point

45:02

for the gerard i wanted to say like the

45:04

gerard presidency right because that's

45:06

how it feels in liverpool it is a little

45:07

bit like a presidency yeah right and so

45:09

you have a moment where i i spoke to

45:12

this when he took the job

45:14

when things start to wobble

45:16

like this is where his leadership will

45:19

shine through or it will sort of be

45:20

found out um and so this is if you're a

45:23

liverpool fan you should be watching

45:26

aston villa the next call it month

45:28

right yeah um

45:30

and i don't know

45:31

what they look their fixtures look like

45:33

i know they're not in the in the

45:34

whatchamacallit the carabao cup

45:37

this weekend we're gonna cover it on

45:38

thursday right they've got promised

45:40

to the fan help crew that will do a full

45:43

breakdown of the fa cup we're gonna

45:45

learn about weird teams scunthorpe uh

45:48

kitty minster i don't know if they're

45:49

right now i'm just using english town

45:51

names uh you're just going through tube

45:53

stops at this point um hey man brantford

45:56

just a bus stop in hounslow never by the

45:58

way

45:59

the best but not close and if and if

46:02

you're listening to the show this deep

46:03

please

46:04

let us know in our squeaky bum time

46:07

facebook group what your favorite

46:10

london tube stop station is and i

46:12

challenge you to do better than

46:15

[ __ ] fosters because that one is really

46:18

really good it's the last top on the

46:20

district line

46:22

fosters

46:23

every time oh my god i thought my wife

46:25

was going to leave me right in the

46:26

middle of london because i used to do

46:28

all that

46:29

no i'm like [ __ ]

46:31

bastards

46:32

every single

46:33

well yeah well i mean i have i have i

46:35

have particular places because i you

46:37

know i had my london time so it's like

46:38

turn them green acting green chiswick

46:40

park those are my stops boyle

46:42

hammersmith

46:44

oh i just meant ridiculous names but oh

46:45

yeah yeah well shepherd's bush is pretty

46:47

funny

46:48

shepherd's bush is right there up with

46:50

cockfosters that's good it's good so

46:54

do us a favor uh tell us your favorite

46:56

london tubes shepard or any city for

46:59

that matter but bonus points if it's in

47:02

anywhere in europe uh yeah i i yeah yeah

47:06

this there's tons but the villa thing i

47:08

thought was interesting about that game

47:09

was both buendia and

47:12

ings both had five shots so i don't know

47:15

if they're starting to

47:16

get that piece together because i think

47:18

if they can connect bendia and ings

47:20

they'll start scoring goals

47:24

there was no mings which was probably a

47:26

problem and you know what [ __ ]

47:27

brentford they will fight to the end and

47:30

they'll get a shitty [ __ ] set-piece

47:32

goal and when they're at home you're

47:34

just

47:35

not gonna get an easy win i mean even

47:37

city had a hard time there everyone goes

47:40

to brentford is like yeah this is gonna

47:41

be fine it's not gonna be fine it's

47:43

gonna be [ __ ] hard it's and they're

47:45

taking they're taking some skin off your

47:46

forehead they're almost like yeah

47:48

they're their new

47:50

um their new crystal palace they're new

47:52

and they're staying up dude they're

47:53

staying up they're on tour they're on 23

47:55

points with 19 games they remind me a

47:58

lot of like when palace first came up

47:59

what was that like five six years ago at

48:01

this point yeah and i was like oh this

48:04

place is f you could hear it through the

48:05

television this place is [ __ ] loud

48:07

and the style that they play at home

48:09

they're not afraid they're going to

48:10

punch you in the mouth they're going to

48:11

keep going very reminiscent of what

48:13

brenford's been doing this year so by

48:15

the way another moment of our age palace

48:17

have been up

48:19

since:

48:22

years ago close

48:24

they have been up since christian bowl

48:27

right the 3-3 the greatest game ever

48:30

watched at work in

48:32

history but no villa

48:35

villa play united twice in a row now uh

48:38

in the fa cup and then uh in the league

48:40

at home they go to old trafford in the

48:42

cup

48:43

uh

48:44

they already beat old they already be

48:45

there's no reason they won't beat them

48:46

again they won't but but what i'm saying

48:49

is they could lose but i'm saying like

48:51

they're

48:52

better

48:53

coached right now sure

48:55

and then everton which is sort of a

48:56

mixed bag they should i think they're

48:58

better than everton but again these are

49:00

not games and i and i think that there

49:02

are very few games where you look at you

49:04

know the the fixture list you go aston

49:06

villa will get three points that day

49:08

i don't feel that way about hardly any

49:10

teams except for like mine

49:12

right i sure should don't feel that way

49:14

about my team but but my point is is

49:17

that again i if i were a liverpool fan i

49:19

would be watching with a careful eye how

49:22

this response comes from this yeah these

49:24

are the moments right two losses on the

49:26

bounce one to chelsea hey it happens

49:28

uh they're you know they're a class team

49:30

and they they beat you up pretty good

49:31

but

49:32

on the

49:34

on the back of that losing a one-nil

49:36

lead to uh what's

49:39

what's called what is their promotion

49:40

side um a good one but still

49:43

and now you've got a bit of a gauntlet

49:45

so i really am curious to see how that's

49:47

how they respond the thing about villa

49:49

and this is really the difficult pieces

49:52

they have the second most losses in the

49:55

league now granted they have no draws

49:58

but 11 losses is a [ __ ] ton so they're

50:01

going for it but you know it is it's one

50:04

of those things it feels like that

50:05

tottenham season where you hardly had

50:06

any draws they have no drawings they're

50:08

basically the opposite

50:10

of my boys in brentford who are who have

50:13

nine draws uh uh brighton brighton

50:16

kicked [ __ ] everton's ass everton

50:19

finally got their guys back so we should

50:21

we'll we start we can now start judging

50:24

uh rafa benitez again dcl's back down

50:26

minute karat lewin alain was back

50:29

decora is back we can now start to judge

50:32

everton again now that they actually

50:34

have their team back together they just

50:36

never had enough depth i will i have a

50:39

player who i watch and always think how

50:41

is he in the premier league and it's

50:43

michael keane he's

50:45

[ __ ]

50:46

awful

50:47

that dude [ __ ] up more [ __ ] for everton

50:50

than any player i've ever seen how he

50:52

doesn't get dropped is beyond me he's

50:54

like the new martin di michellis like

50:56

he's trying to do [ __ ] and he can't do

50:58

it and he's always trying to do it over

50:59

and over again martin's

51:00

that's another one that's like wow yeah

51:02

old school

51:04

i'm throwing it in there yeah he's got a

51:06

he's got a

51:16

you know what remember we were talking

51:17

about uh liverpool games

51:19

that you that you haven't been able to

51:20

beat spurs i now remember vividly the

51:23

game you lost the ball goes over

51:25

lovren's head and he tries to edit and

51:27

it's a disaster and he falls over yeah

51:29

and i think kane pops on it and that and

51:32

they just kill lovren yeah they took him

51:34

over he's like yeah he's the worst

51:36

defender anyone's ever seen yeah stevie

51:38

nickel annihilated him so all the

51:40

memories are coming back to me oh yeah

51:42

they took him off on the 35th minute at

51:44

wembley it was hilarious 4-1 spurs that

51:47

day oh it's a good living

51:54

he did i don't want to talk about it he

51:56

uh we've got games tomorrow and so let's

51:58

go through them i mean southampton

52:00

brentford yeah we have oh wait i'm sorry

52:02

that's the 11th i'm an idiot no we have

52:06

we have two weeks off we have the fa cup

52:07

this weekend well

52:08

we don't have games tomorrow we have

52:10

games wednesday and i should know what's

52:12

wednesday because it is a london darby

52:15

in the semi-final of the carabao cup

52:18

which now is the most

52:20

it's the most important trophy there is

52:22

and you know

52:24

you know that if you've been listening

52:25

to the show for a while i am

52:28

full of [ __ ] um i have always hated the

52:31

efl cup i always found it to be an

52:33

impediment to success elsewhere for

52:36

spurs specifically

52:38

you know what put all that [ __ ] aside

52:39

let's go get a trophy let's go take it

52:41

from chelsea and arsenal to liverpool

52:43

it's too it's is it it's home it it's

52:46

back-to-back uh wednesday matches

52:49

um

52:50

first one this wednesday at stanford

52:52

bridge and then you have fa cup and then

52:54

you have another one yeah

52:56

yeah that sucks

52:58

um

52:58

is that what city's been doing all this

53:00

time we're [ __ ] kids why are we

53:02

stupid no wonder we play 65 games a year

53:07

well no one pepsi [ __ ] pep out what are

53:09

you doing lose these [ __ ] fa cup

53:12

games lose the carabao cup we could have

53:14

had two weeks off in the middle of the

53:15

season all this time what are we doing

53:19

champions of the cariboo cup get the

53:21

[ __ ] out of here

53:25

yeah tottenham's gauntlet is ironically

53:28

it's it's weird you got chelsea and then

53:30

more cambay

53:31

uh chelsea again it's morkum morkum what

53:34

an [ __ ] i am morkum

53:37

um and then arsenal

53:40

yeah that's it that's it for me on the

53:42

show um no but i mean it's weird because

53:45

i don't know you know i bet you lukaku

53:48

plays and scores now i bet that [ __ ]

53:50

happens he's not gonna play in that

53:51

[ __ ] game why not because they [ __ ]

53:54

him it's gonna be a disaster now why

53:56

wouldn't you run him out there or at

53:57

least like have him eventually because

53:59

an [ __ ] have you heard

54:01

this okay you missed me ranting about

54:03

how much bitching those two [ __ ]

54:05

germans did oh my god i know don't get

54:07

me started but like but this thing is

54:08

incredible

54:09

this is

54:10

this is uh an olive branch right

54:13

it's basically him saying yeah go prove

54:16

it right like it was it was mourinho

54:19

putting

54:20

you know

54:21

like dele ali on the you know the first

54:24

team for the europa league against who

54:26

gives a [ __ ] right like that's basically

54:29

what this is and so you basically have

54:31

to going

54:33

no

54:33

here you go here's your start here's

54:35

your like i said olive branch against

54:37

the tottenham side that is going to take

54:38

this game very seriously

54:40

but i don't know how seriously chelsea's

54:42

going to take i just want you to know

54:44

that you were playing a team in morkum

54:47

called

54:48

the shrimps

54:50

okay

54:51

so all right there's dick jokes

54:53

there's a lot there's a lot of uh they

54:56

have a shrimp on their [ __ ] crest oh

54:59

fantastic i'm a big fan of markham

55:04

and there's their name sounds like

55:07

more [ __ ]

55:12

it's a little ironic for the shrimp

55:14

thing but uh

55:17

nine and a half nine and a half didn't

55:19

even talk about neil mulpe guys i think

55:21

that's mr mcallister and his new goals

55:24

he scored two for brighton and he's got

55:26

his own set of wipes now i'm pretty sure

55:29

that is that's a new show record for

55:32

dick jokes i think we're at like 10 11.

55:35

nazis out dicks in dick's in

55:38

i'm doing it that was the squeaky bum

55:41

time podcast with mike slower and i went

55:43

around corteans we are the football wing

55:45

of the chop sports network we record on

55:47

tuesdays and fridays so be sure to

55:49

subscribe wherever you get your podcast

55:52

so you never miss an episode or a shrimp

55:55

uh and if you're listening on apple

55:56

please rate review the show so that we

55:59

can grow and thank you to all the fan

56:02

hub people thank you to everyone we'll

56:04

be covering the fa cup

By Laurent Courtines

I'm here and I am ready to go. Been doing my homework and I have things to say.

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