Erling Haaland’s Milestone and Premier League Showdowns. Breaking Records & Heated Relegation Battles

We marvel at the incredible achievements of Erling Haaland, who has set a new Premier League record with a staggering fifty goals in just thirty games! We reflect on the great strikers of the past, such as Luis Suarez, Clive Allen, and the legendary Dixie Dean, all while comparing Haaland’s awe-inspiring aggression, hunger, and determination to score goals. Listen in as we discuss how this record has set a new benchmark for the league and solidified Haaland’s place among the greats.

We also cover the thrilling match between Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool, where Spurs suffered a devastating collapse while Liverpool secured their European aspirations. Our analysis of Manchester City‘s hard-fought victory against Fulham highlights their impressive defensive performance and ability to stay undefeated in the league. Plus, we discuss Manchester United‘s success in securing a spot in the top four of the Premier League.

Finally, we take a deep look at the intense relegation battles taking place in the league, with West Ham United, Everton, and Leeds United all fighting to stay afloat. We cover the memorable Monday Night game between Leeds and Everton, James Maddison’s penalty miss, and Pickford’s incredible save. Join us as we evaluate the current form of key players and assess the standings of Manchester City, Liverpool, Manchester United, and Newcastle United in the Premier League.


(0:00:00) – Erling Haaland

Erling Haaland’s record-breaking fifty goals in thirty games highlights his aggression, hunger and determination, setting a new benchmark for the Premier League.

(0:11:13) – Spurs Collapse and Liverpool’s European Hopes

Liverpool secured a European place with a last-minute goal, ending Tottenham’s top four hopes in a 3-2 thriller.

(0:19:40) – City’s Tough Win and Top Rise

Manchester City’s defensive performance remained strong despite fielding a different side, securing an undefeated league position and a top four spot for Manchester United.

(0:23:19) – Manchester United & Southampton Game Analysis

Manchester United’s draw, Newcastle’s win, defensive strategies of Emery and Solskjaer, Karen Trippier’s shot creation, Erling Haaland’s achievements, and Liverpool’s first forty minutes against Tottenham Hotspur are discussed.

(0:30:36) – Premier League Relegation Zone Troubles

Southampton, Newcastle United, Bournemouth, Leads, Liverpool’s Alison, Brighton, and Wolves are analyzed for performance, key players, and Premier League status.

(0:45:39) – Premier League Relegation Battle Analysis

West Ham, Everton, and Leeds United battle to remain in the Premier League; Moise’s time with West Ham; Leeds-Everton Monday Night game; Michael Keane, Seamus Coleman, and Everton’s front line; Manchester City, Liverpool, Manchester United, and Newcastle United’s positions.


#PremierLeague #ErlingHaaland #LuisSuarez #CliveAllen #DixieDean #RonaldoMessiEra #TottenhamHotspur #Liverpool #ManchesterCity #Fulham #ManchesterUnited #Southampton #WestHamUnited #Everton #LeedsUnited




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Hello, and welcome to the squeaky bum time podcast presented exclusively on the CHOP Sports network channel of the premier streaming network. We are recording this on Monday, May first first. May day. Comrains. I am your host Laurent Courtines.


In this episode, spurs get even more Spursier in their defeat against Liverpool. Manchester United, get a name brand win against a good coach. Wow. And there are goals galore everywhere in every match. But first, Erling, Haaland, has fifty goals, a record in England by an English based player, not touched since nineteen eighty seven with Clive Allen.


First, let's get our homework out of the way. Please like share subscribe. Like, share subscribe. We need you. We love you. We want you to be a part of the show and follow us at Laurent Courtines. On YouTube. We're doing lots of reels there about little pieces of the show that you can watch on video. Now, let's get to it. Okay. Erling Haaland. I know that I talk about Manchester City a lot. It's my team. I love them, but I think that I have not been actually hyperbolic enough about Erling Haaland.


Erling Haaland has come to England, a league that is Historically been difficult on strikers. I just remember Vincent Jansen disappearing. I remember numerous strikers from Spurs disappearing. Lukaku famously couldn't handle it when he went to United, but he was okay at other places. And so you get the sense that, you know, big name striker coming from Germany where it's the highest scoring goal league in the world And you're just like, well, can he do it on a rainy day in stoke with this different league and this different style? And boy, can he fucking do it? If you remember way back when, way back when the community shield and Darwin Nunez scored versus city, and we thought maybe Darwin Nunez would be with be right with them, and it has not been close. Early Haaland has set The record for goals in the Premier League set at thirty four by both Andy Cole and Alan Cure way, way back in ninety two and ninety three when the Premier League had forty two games. He has beaten that record in ten less games. So he's on he's only played thirty games, one off the bench, and he has thirty four goals. The closest I think was probably Louise Suarez thirteen fourteen. He missed about eight or nine games because of the bite, and he had thirty one. Much more dynamic. I think Louis Suarez then Erling Haaland.


Erling Haaland is just a battering ram and a finisher that City has missed. All this time since Aguero was at his best. But he's far, far, far more aggressive than Aguero was. He's hungry to score goals than Aguéro was. Aguéro seemed to be having fun and just being like, yeah, hey, scored goals. Isn't this great? But Earl and Haaland is just angry and just wants to score more. He doesn't wanna come off the pitch. He just wants more and more and more and more.


And I just think that we are not really capturing what a big deal this is He's now on fifty in all competitions, so we have the Premier League, a record since nineteen ninety four. So that's forty years ago, almost thirty eight thirty nine years ago. So that's a long time, many great players. Ronaldo, Rudy, Tevez, Burbatov, Vanistel Roy, all amazing amazing strikers. All those strikers that have come to the league, Robbie Keane, Defoe, theory on read, just tons and tons of great strikers. Ian Wright, you know, these are all great players in their own right. Philips, who could forget Calvin Phillips and his long ball with Sunderland. He got broke the league's brain when he scored thirty goals, winning the European golden boot. But now Haaland has come and he just is inevitable. He's scoring on once, one in every twenty touches, which is insane and all these things that are just happening at speed and without understanding at all. But I wanna get further down into breaking these goals down. So so he's got the thirty four goals, twelve in the Champions League, one in the EFL cup, three in the Epic cup, and thirty four in the league. The number that's been brought up is by a forgotten player of Clive Allen who played for spurs in nineteen, in the mid in the late eighties, And Clive Allen had forty nine goals, that season thirty three in the league, twelve in the league cup. I don't know how the hell he got twelve in the league cup. This is the eighty six, eighty seven season first first. They lost in the FA cup. But he scored forty nine, and that's a number you'll hear about a forgotten player. The league record for England is by Dixie Dean in the nineteen twenty seven, twenty eight season. Sixty goals, same season that babe hit sixty home runs. Kind of symbiotic between goals and home runs. Two things that well, there's probably way more home runs, but they are weirdly aligned In terms of the numbers, like a thirty home run season, a twenty goal season, whatever. It doesn't matter. But it is interesting.


I just think that Haaland is next in line for the great players in football. We're we're ending the Ronaldo Messi era. We already see Ronaldo's off in Saudi Arabia. Messi is now sort of in the decline phase. He's won his World Cup. He's left the club. He started at a Barcelona. And I think we're in this new phase. It's going to be in Bape, but I don't think and I think if we're in our heart of hearts, we know that ultimately, Mbappe being in PSG leaves us a little bit cold about what records he has there.


Naymar never could wear the crown. He's been in decline for five years. He's holding onto the ball and getting fouled and getting injured. Because he wants to show people up. That kicking has diminished his skills and the late night partying from Nexstar has definitely diminished his skills Levandowski is in the conversation, but he's now in his later thirties. And I think the pandemic really hurt him because his two best seasons, his fifty goal seasons in the in the Bundest League. They kind of are been steady, and I don't I don't biggrudge Lonezkowski, he's now at Barcelona, and they're having a great season. But I think he's been somewhat forgotten because he's very he's just sort of doesn't have the dynamism and the personality on the pitch that that Sterling has And so we have this new force for good, and it's really one of the first times that Citi has one of those stars.


It's really one of the first times that The Premier League has a world star in their prime. Very often, the Premier League is where stars come up and then they end up in real Madrid and Barcelona to become the world stars. Because of the diff I think one of the things that happens with the decline of United and they're sort of placed among that group of teams. And the sort of diffusion of of the Premier League's best teams, it's It's Chelsea for a while. It's city for a while. It has been city for a while now. Chelsea, United, arsenal and it's diffused. Our stars are diffused, and we create those stars.


But the world star, that number one, that that person that drives the conversation and connects people to the Premier League of, like, the best player in the world who scores the most goals plays in the Premier League for Manchester City who are the best team or are in the finals of the Champions League. So all those things converging are really lifted the profile of Holling that I don't even know that we're using enough hyperbole. He's in there. He is in that group, that last game. That he had against Arsenal was just a master class. And I think it's indicative of how he's improved. He's changed from earlier in a season that game was all his skills were on on display and he can improve. And I think that's the thing that's more interesting about him. He can start to move the ball around and drop deep and be more involved with the build up play that city likes to do.


And I think it's another indicative about Haaland is when you take the way Manchester City play, and city have been playing well and scoring goals and doing this sort of diffursive kind of style. But then you put a kind of terminator, an eraser of mistakes in it at the top of the goals. It makes cities so much better because city we're always creating chances all this time. But we're kind of like just in line with their XG. And I and I know we don't like talk about this stuff, but just for instance, Citi would have, like, an XG or or created goals opportunity of, like, eighty five and then score ninety goals. But now, City's XG is not that good, but Haaland is scoring goals extra. You can just punt it to him. Just get it near him and he scores goals that steady you to have to be more intricate. It was that cross ball to marine sterling at the back post. He's a racing man. He's a superstar. He's a megastar. He's a bright shining light. That city. He's city's player. He's in the Premier League. And he is something else.


And I think that I haven't done enough of saying how incredible is and hopefully this landmark of fifty goals. By one player. Only Messi has scored fifty coles in a full season. I don't think anyone else has done it in a long time. Ronaldo and Messi made it weird and normal. But scoring fifty goals is absurd. Nobody scored fifty goals. Lewandowski scored forty, I think, forty five or broke the record in the Bundest League a couple years ago. But, you know, there's been some fifties, but these numbers are crazy. But just to keep in mind, Messi did have a season where he scored ninety, and that's not getting close. No one's ever near that. But anyway, I just wanted to cover that and make sure that we were aware of the just pure power of Haaland and what it means.


Let's go to the scores now. And start with Liverpool and Tottenham hotspur. What a ridiculous bonkers freaking game that was? Seven goals and all but the first fifteen minutes you thought that Tontinum were going to get annihilated again. They gave up Just like at Newcastle, Newcastle last time they gave up four in twenty minutes. This time they gave up three in fifteen. So they're getting better. They're getting better. But that was it. Kurtis Jones, Luis Diaz, and an amazing one, and then a penalty that Mohamad Salah put through. And just a crazy game.


You know, we saw the Trent Alexander Arnold thing where he's inside, but there was nothing from spurs. SPURS WERE DEAD. SPURS WERE GONE. THIS fifteen, twenty minutes. THIS HALF WAS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL annihilation and destruction of spurs. They were dead. They were nowhere. They were lost. Their souls were crushed. Their hearts were gone, nothing was there, and they for the first forty minutes had nothing. And then, Of course, the magic, the power, the majesty. That is Liverpool's defense. Allows Trent Alexander Arnold now not at write back to just be gone. There is no one there. And so, Parisitch gets free. Takes on takes on Van Dyke, totally embarrasses, and he falls over, he's a meme now, crosses it into Harry Cain, he puts it in on the volley as only Harry Cain can do on what a fucking finisher he is. And so at that point, SPERS are in this game. So the three one are like, holy shit. We fucking survived.


And as SPERS season has been second half, there's something else again. They capitalize on the malaise of of Liverpool. They capitalize on the weakness of Liverpool's defense. They capitalize on the weakness of Liverpool's midfield. They're unable to control games now. Unable to control games. This is Liverpool's problem all season. They cannot control games. Yeah. They can score goals. They can go forward, but there's no one in the midfield to slow this thing down take this thing out of it, take it down, take it down, take it down. So here we are.


Spurs get another goal on seventy seven, a really nice one from our friend, Hinman's son. It's three two. Then as spurs are fighting, pushing in the second half, Richardson, of all the fucking knobheads and dickheads in the world, I like Richardson. He scores a flicked header into the ground that goes past Allison on a set piece on a dead ball that hurricane was filed on because Why not file Harry Cain on a ninety third minute and the edge of the box? Because that's what Harry Cain does. He creates shit. What a great player is. Son crosses it and Rich Allison definitely gets a touch on it, bangs at home, off the floor, goes over Allison, queue the scenes, spurs, come back from the dead. It's three three. They're over the moon.


Where does football go from here as Peter Drury likes to say, but I'll tell you where football goes from here. It goes right into the cop, sucking balls into the goal, Allison long, long kick right onto right through to the defense. It's passed back to to Mora, Lucas Mora, playing right wing back inexplicably. In the final minutes, makes a back pass Right to Diego charter who slots at home and cute field scenes. Anfield goes wild and and spurs just spurs it up.


I mean, this is like I don't know what it is about spurs. I don't know how it happens. But it goes back to my things with institutions again. What is it about an institution? Is it about the fact that we have the narrative in our head about a club like Spurs making mistakes or being weak or losing games or whatever. And we don't notice the ones that are not in the spurs narrative. And then when there is a spurs event like this one, oh, there's spursy again. Is it is it the number like, which finals did they lose that make them spursy? Which moments were they there that they got games pulled away from them? I can't really I can't I don't really know the games that are Spursy. I just think that Spursy is something when you're when you have your rivals in arsenal picking a term. You have the famous narrative of of Alex Ferguson saying, oh, hey boys, it spurs. Like, that that does do damage to the narrative, but I'd really love for someone who's super analytical to sort of make a spursy rule and decide what the actual criteria for spursi are.


Steven Nickel on the ESPN f c show sort of doesn't get it. He says spursi is the fact that they're completely unpredictable. So, like, he's like, this spursi, they'll win this game. I see it as a negative. It's not that they won't that they'll win when you don't expect it or lose when you don't expect it. It's that they'll always fuck it up. Even when it doesn't look like they will.


So that's how I've used Spursi. I've used Spursi as this result. You come back to tie in a game where you were fucking dead. And here you are on a stupid mistake. And I mean, stupid. Just throwing the ball back. Having Lucas more on playing wing back because why not? And spurs drop the points and really effectively kill their chance at a top four and give life to Liverpool's top four Now I don't think Liverpool are gonna make the top four, but they're getting pretty close to being locked on for a European place.


This reminds me of of the van dyke season. Where Liverpool had a hard time after they won the title and sort of made a charge. The Alison at the death getting them into the Champions League won, like, six in a row to get in Liverpool sitting on fifty three with a game, extra game played on United sitting on fifty six you know, there there's seven points behind United. I can't see United dropping three games and Liverpool going undefeated. That would be a fucking epic collapse. But they do now they've pulled ahead of Aston Villa and Tottenham, who both sit on fifty four and have just sort of solidified that good spot. So it looks like Enfield will see their European nights that they will be Europa League nights.


At this point. And so the damaging season that that Liverpool have does get a modicum of, like, this was the worst season we've had in five years. But we're sixteen, eight, and nine with a plus twenty three goal difference. So they're not that far away. Yes. They are twenty points behind Citi, but you know, we've seen twenty point gaps get made up by some goal lock, two good players, a center back in a midfielder, and they're off. So rumors of Liverpool's demise are greatly exaggerated. They'll come back. They'll come back into it.


For spurs, they need a coach, and they probably need a striker and they need a whole new defense. If Eric Dyer ever plays for spurs again, it'll be too soon. They've got to pack them up, send them home, and be like, dude, Yada. He's not a premier league central defender. Again, like I said earlier, I mentioned this about in the last episode around Chelsea's scoring being bottom five scoring in the league. Spurs are a bottom five defense in the Premier League. You ready for this? Spurs are the sixth worst defense in the league. Leads have given up sixty seven. Boyments sixty four. Noddingham Forest sixty two South Hampton sixty, Lester fifty nine, autumn fifty seven and everton on fifty two. Essentially, Todenham Hopkinsburg have a relegation level defense. So that means that's a championship level defense. So they need a new goalkeeper. They need at least two different center backs like I said. Alvaro, then work onto that door. Jan Fertagini, work into that door. I'll walk her and walk her into that door. You're in Tripere and walk her into that door. They need an entirely new defense, and that would be on the Christmas list for Putnam hotspur for them. But we move on.


I do wanna get into I talked about early Poland. I do wanna talk about the Fulham game at city one, an incredible not checking performance. I know everyone's like, oh, easy game, blah, blah, blah. The game against Fulham was not easy. City had a hard time breaking down Fulham, Fulham are a tough team. They have Jalpahlenia. They still have a good defense.


Vanisha did pull it back. Early Haaland got a penalty on three, Julian Alvarez's goal on thirty six was absolutely fantastic. But it was one one in the first half, Vanisha's got a goal just at a went nowhere on the brake. No problem. City did not play the groin. A little bit of a different side, but, you know, replace the groin with Julian Alvarez. No problem.


Riyadh Morris comes in. You know, guys get guys get time. Silver comes in. Fulton comes in. Just Whole Home regular stuff, but it was a tougher game than you'd expect. And I think the good thing is is that Citi were aware They didn't give up much.


It was a strong performance, but it was tough. It was a defensive performance. It was a this isn't gonna be easy, but we're gonna win it performance. Haaland worked hard again. Leno made tons and tons of saves, seven saves in all out of eight shots. So he was full of his man in the match, but it wasn't easy.


Like, I don't I've come to understand over the years of watching football of how easy It looks when your team is informed and working. The passes you make are crisp. The shots go into the top corner. The players on the ball who are deep, they see the runs, and everything just seems to move fluidly and work. But it's very precise and it can go very quickly. Ask Liverpool. Everything that worked all of a sudden doesn't work. Those passes that were there all of a sudden aren't there. That half a yard that used to use to win the ball back is a half a yard short and you end up fouling someone and that free kick becomes a goal because your keeper can't come for it because the blockers aren't in front of where they should be. It's all precise. Citi look great because they work hard at it. They push each other. They have a player at every position to push.


And so, city beating fulham away from home was not at a foregone conclusion. After the midweek game against Arsenal, very tough emotional game but Citi go in there and get the job done. Amazing work. I'm very proud of Citi in that result, and they do finally. And this is the big step. They're now top of the league by one point. Arsenal's reigned two hundred and fifty days a top of the Premier League. This is now city's fourth day, a top of the league. They play their game in hand next week against Westham. Or later this is it this week? It might be Wednesday. In fact, yes, they do play West Ham midweek on Wednesday. And that will be their game in hand and now I'll be caught up to arsenal at that point. But arsenal have played Tuesday. So we're starting to get into that game in hand being picked up But Citi finally top of the league, they're they're you know, when I looked back and sort of saw, oh, they have four draws and four launches.


That was when they had fourteen wins and they still haven't lost. So they're still just running and destroying people peaking at the right time. City just feeling out of a bowl at this point. They're top of the league. They're on track for the treble. That's just real. So city are now coming and moving, but they put in the work This is not a weak bullshit champion. This is the real deal and it is time for them to go on.


Speaking of teams that are going on, it looks like the top four is secure for the great and powerful noisy neighbor? Is it noisy neighbor? The quiet neighbor? The old neighbor. The aristocratic neighbor, Manchester United one, Aston Villa mill, They get it done against a name brand opponent. Again, United have to grind. They're not that good.


And I do give a lot of credit to Ten Hawk. It's underhanded. I might be insulting them, but this team's underlying numbers are not good. They can't control games For halves, they can control for periods, they score goals in moments, they're reliant on rashford making great shots. In this case, Bruno Fernandez got on the end of of of a shot that that Ramsay made. It was deflected, and and Fernandez put it in, and they get that first half goal. They're much better in the first half usually or in the second half.


And then Villa did come onto this game. Now they're x g doesn't show that, but I think Lindahloff took a shot off the line. There were a couple of scrambles in front of GOL. Again, Deja and the defense hung in they're injured. United played three full backs, no center backs, just Linda Loff, who's the size of a full back and probably would be a full back and another time. So, really, it's it's it's it's Malassia, Shaw, Lindahloff, and Gallo. That's their defense. Crazy time against a well drilled unai emery and, you know, Villa do play the way they play.


This was a good game and I think a good result that that that United can hold on to go, alright, we grinded this one out. And that's been a lot of their games. It's not been a fluid performance and Ten Hawk wants to get there, but United can't control games yet. They do have to fight for every single game and they do rely on moments and Deja and everybody sort of getting it done now. Deja only had to make one safe. That's because one was cleared off the line. So that counts as a shot on target, but not a safe. So incredible stuff there for Villa. And Villa just, you know, this is their first game that they've been shut out on their Emery. They're they're they're still banging on the door of European places. They will likely get something, but they had been over performing as well.


So these two teams both on the way up, both with good coaches, but both doing it in different ways. You know, ten hog more, possession based more Dutch style and I think Emery we would admit is a much more pragmatic, Benitez kind of realm of maniacal, not giving paths on the back, but giving you every bit of information you need to win a game and making sure his players are in the right places and the details needed to win games and get things over the line. So Villa don't get their win, but they do hold their heads high in a good performance and a game of full of fight, full of vigor, and full of guys really giving it their role to try and win the game. So the good stuff from United, I think you know, John John Santana, my resident sad friend who I love more than anything in the whole world. He he gets sad at the United Games and some of the games that have been blown, some of the blowouts that happened. But these are the games you've got to hang your hat on. Tough home game, against Villa, against the good coach, where really the sides are probably more equal than you wanna admit and they go get the goal and see the game out even though it's tougher than you want it to be. So really, really good result for United. And I give them credit. You know, I've been giving them credit all season. As much as I don't like them, they are tough They have been beat by better sides around them, but they don't take those defeats down. They're like, okay, we lost discount. We've gotta go beat the teams that we can beat and get the points we need. So they solidify themselves, like I said, in the top four race. They're on sixty three and then we go and see where we are in the delegation battle, in the top four race, Newcastle to feeding, Southampton, Did they end also taking a step forward into that Champions League place?


They go down a goal to ask to Southampton. Again, I like Ruben sell us. I got something from the two lobbies that were like, oh, they don't like him. He's not a real manager. I think he's been good and Southampton have not given up in games. It's just not good enough. And Southampton do get the goal from Stewart Armstrong, but then Callum Wilson, an owned goal from Phil Walthock, and then Wilson again on eighty one.


At home, Newcastle at this point are inevitable. Their XG is four point three. They really batter Southampton and as much as I shit on South Hampton. They're just not good enough to hang with the power, pace, and intensity of Newcastle. That is the buzzword of Newcastle. This is an intense team. If you come and you're not ready, you will get run over because Wilak Guillaume Morech, Joe Linton, they will run you off the park, and they will press you into death. And then that defensive group of Byrne and Bachman will head everything away with the ball players of share and trivia.


Trivia really plays as a wing back in this weird, uneven three back with with that with with Trivia, actually leading the league in a shot creation across the Premier League in a league with Kevin De Bruin. He's in the top five in shot creation from right pullback. So he's basically a winger. He's basically trend Alexander Arnold without being shit at the fence. Don't tell Liverpool fans that, but he's as good. Just a veteran learned his trade under SIMIONI. Just love Karen Trippier. A player that spurs, maybe you don't let him go. You fucking morons. Anyway, you're in trivia, incredible player, incredible season.


There's going to be European nights at St. James Park. Just if you want to be ready for something amazing, get ready for that. I think a European team is gonna go to St. James' park on one of those Tuesdays or Wednesdays and go, oh, fuck. I was not ready for this. Nighttime, old, wet, St. James Park rocking the Jordi's drunk Allan Sheera taking his shirt off in the Gallagate end, gonna be something else. I can't wait for it. They're gonna have to improve their squad a lot, but I really like what I see. And then I think this result does two things, solidifies Newcastle at the top end and really put Southampton. They're done. They are going down. We say goodbye after South Hampton after, I believe, I wanna say ten years in the Premier League. I wanna just check that because I wanna be right and not wrong. They've gone down before, but yeah, they have been in the Premier League since twenty twelve thirteen, so ten years.


Lalembert team with Lalana and Jay Rodriguez bringing him up Ricky Lambert, the legend. Spending for they were in league one as recent as two thousand ten. So it has been an amazing amazing ride within those years under Cumin and Pochatino. They get Europa League in fifteen and sixteen, the Graziano pela, Saudi Omane season, and then that's really their peak and they begin to slide downwards after the Monet steel biliver pull and van dyke leaves and the team goes from minus seven, minus nineteen, minus twenty, and essentially just start spending the back end of their seasons in the relegation zone.


And what happens with the relegation zone is it's sort of a drain. You can get out once. You can get out twice. When she start getting into I'm gonna get out of the allegations on the third time. You start to get into trouble. And once Inns left the team, you knew they were in trouble. No bull scoring. No party. Gotta be out of score goals to get out of the renegotiation zone. And it looks like Southampton's race has finally been run. We will say goodbye to them. Pretty, pretty soon, and it's pretty, pretty sad. But again, a new castle, a player to watch, deep an eye on my friend, mister Isaac. That guy is a world class player. He's already, you know, he's already a Champions League player. And now he really is a Champions League player. So we're gonna see more of him. And as long as he stays healthy, we'll see more of that.


Other friends in the south coast who are now safe, mighty, born, defeats, leads, Four one. Avi Gracia has lost the plot with leads. They have now set the record for goals against in a month, April. Leads just complete and utter collapse. Gary O'Neil and the cherries of Bournemouth are going to be a premier league team. I had them nailed on for going down, but they said not so fast my friend and the great and powerful Blacksmith are gonna be with us next season.


Jefferson Lumber's scores two. Dominic Zelnicki gets on a scoreboard and then Antonio Cimino does get one in the ninetieth minute. Patrick Stanford gets one on thirty two to show a little fight for leads, but leads are just fucking awful. Their heads are down. They can't control games. Their games are still bananas. They're still dealing with injuries and nothing is happening. That's good for this team. They're just shipping goals every day. Twice a week. And on the other side, you have a team that has a controlling midfield with with billing and Lerta. And this week, they had Rodwell in there. And then Selenke connects it all. And they've got power on the wings from Dango, Cuattra, and they just push really, really hard. And it's been a joy to watch because this team is freaking good.


You go to Bournemouth and you don't show up, they will punch you in a mouth. And if your leads and you can't stop anything or control anything, you are going to lose and that's what happened two leads. This was a game that leads absolutely had to have if they wanna stay in this league and it doesn't look like they are going to. Do want to go through leads last few games. You ready? Leads. They have since their last win, they beat Nottingham Forest April fourth. Five goals to Palace, six deliver pool, two to full them. They got that draw against Lester, and then four more to Boynton.


It has been a brutal rural month. They shipped four to Arsenal, one to far as five, but just so so bad, just a complete and utter disaster. Do they bowl melea? I think at this point, what's the point? I mean, he's just shell shocked. He's got an under sixty percent save percentage. Now, could that be the quality of the shots he faces? Sure. But he is now a minus twelve on post shot expected goals. That's just you cannot win with a goal keeper who's minus twelve. So what that means is Post Shot expected goals minus goals allowed. A positive number suggests better luck or above average ability to stop saves to stop shots. So he's an average goal keeper would be at zero. So that's twelve goals that he's given up, that a normal average keeper would not have given up now.


Teams that go down have this problem. On the higher end, you look at Alison as plus ten, plus twelve on this side. So Liverpool fans know this. Alison is also the best one on one keeper in the world. He saves their ass all the fucking time and they know it. And I used to manny gets mad at me when I say, fucking Liverpool is so lucky. Well, they're lucky because the luck comes in the form of having the best goal deeper in the world. And so he may not be as good a passer as Alison, but he's, by short, by far, the best goal stopper, and he does add the most to his team's bottom line in Allison.


This season, Marnier, is the worst keeper in the league, passing Bizuno, who Bizuno mercifully was actually put out of his misery and benched. Alex MacArthur came in for him. And then the the Americans on this leads team are not really editing anything. I think McKinney's been found out. Aronson has been all action but no end result. Too young, not ready, And it looks like, to me, leads are in trouble. I don't think the Javier Garcia appointment in when you look back in retrospect is gonna have been a positive one. So it just looked like leads are gonna go down and we'll get into what I think on the relegation zone after we get through a couple more games.


But born men's, same. Carry on. Carry on. Carry on. Carry on. Then, of course, the great and powerful brighten underdeserving They light up wolves. Like a fucking Christmas tree, they set the dogs on fire, six mil. They just absolutely destroy them. In CISO is just killer. They've just found another one. They're gonna sell MacArthur. They're gonna sell McAlister and CISOs gonna play. They're gonna find they're gonna use Billy Gilmore in Kaiseido's place and they are just gonna tick right on over. They'll try and hold on to one. Maybe it'll be Matoma.


I find that the Asian players are less likely to be aggressive to move, and that's just Sun, that's just Jinci Park, that's just, you know, just a handful, that's just not in their personality or culturally. I don't know of what it is, but that's just my observation about the Asian players. They tend to stay where they are. But brick and Brighton were just incredible in that game and they just lit up the tree with with all their goals. Danny Welbeck scoring a brace. Danny Welbeck, a man who could not finish if he was in a brothel in fucking Bangkok. This guy is banging in goals for fun. It's just unreal.


The stuff that the Zerbe gets out of these players, just a fantastic, fantastic Lee Coach team, It's Undeaf. Pascal grossed with two, Danny Walbeck with two, and then Undeaf to finish it off. They score our six goals in an hour. And then wool's just kinda like, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Not in the face. Not in the face. And sees so with a pair of assists, a a hat trick of assist no. No. That's not a hat trick. That he was subbed off. But in CSO with a pair of assists, it just all was in the first half. All with power, all with precision, all with joy. Right? The best team, not in the top six, by far.


Who they can hold on to. I don't know, but I have a feeling they're gonna reload with Gilmore and then see so I don't think I can't see Webster and Dunk moving on. They're both a little bit older, but actually those are the steal that, hold this thing together. I'm not sure if Esteban will move on, but I'm sure they have guys set up to reload. And I think the key thing they hold on and they wanna hold on to is I wanna hope that Desirby will wanna stay. Maybe he'll give him another year before he moves on. They should hold fast. Tony Blum should be like, hey buddy. You haven't even been here a year. Stay for the next year. See where you get to, then we'll let you go. Amazing stuff.


Lopateghi was gutted after this. Wolverhampton Wanderers are just fine. They still have the problem of being unable to score. But I think Loper TEGI, they're on ten wins. They're absolutely safe. They've got no prom.


This is more about a celebration of the power. And amazingness of Brighton. Speaking of the other end of the relegation zone of joy from Brighton and amazingness the sadness that was Brenford versus Nottingham Forest. Ugh. We all watched with you Christian. We all felt it. We were all with man. I'm so sad. It was so sad. We all want forest to stay up because I think we all recognize in forest at a team that is working hard. They're giving it their all. They have a plan. They're doing what they can. Giving the the skill set that they have and they're just unable to hold on to this game. They gave their their all. They're up to one.


Some of the subs go weird. Donilo gets hurt, so they're effectively down to ten in the final ten minutes, and Bradford scored two to take the draw away. The draw with him in so much. But it's really and then it's just some bad plays like Couillard's letting Tony's shot through the wall, go through, he jumped. I think he thought it was gonna curve, so he tried to jump out of the way, and then Tony went through the wall. And poor to hit Taylor Navas and his octopus arms could not get down to stop the shot. So Renford get the win.


You know this about Redford. They go the full ninety minutes. They're gonna set PCU They're gonna long throw in you, they're gonna punch you, they're gonna go on the break, they're gonna make it fucking horrible for you and Brentford did that and Nottingham Forest matched them for most of the game. They get their goal early, but they're unable to see it out. Classic scored too soon for the great and powerful trees of of Boymuth and it's of of of not even far as and it's just so sad because You could see it. It was there. They had it in their sights, and I remember watching it. And my heart sunk. And I'm not even a Forrest fan, so I can't imagine what it felt like to have that game just ripped away from you just hurtful hurtful stuff.


They get the goal on forty five just as they're going into the break must have been a great half time in the room with Cooper must have been like, we got this. We're good. Tony on eighty two on the wall kick, and then the Silva near post on ninety four to break the hearts of of forest just the two time European chimps cannot get a break. And where the fuck is Eboni, I thought he would score goals. Andrei, Iu, they dusted his ass off. The Nilo is now probably hurt. It looked like he had a really bad hamstring or something like that. And then our guy, Chek Couyate, who'd come on for Brendan Johnson as a defensive holder because Brandon Johnson, as usual, ran through the fucking world to try and get a win, and he just the exit.


Even some blame put on Taylor Navas, I mean, the guy made six saves. Come on. He saved some shit. So he was plus one expected goals again, so he even saved two goals that probably would have gone in, but they just can't get it done. And the poor sad tricky trees just didn't really create much. They just sorta hanging on in the end. And this is the nature of being in a relegation zone, man. But I do take heart. The team does fight for Cooper, and I think we all wanna believe that forest have it in them. They've got five games, they've gotta get like six points. It's gonna be tough, very tough, but I think we're all behind them and we all want them to do better, but it's just gonna be a very difficult game. And then if you want more goals, here's one for you. Crystal Palace four, West Ham three. West Ham were terrible, but scored three goals, all on set pieces. They were never within there are only within one goal at the end there. Palace just scored at will.


My guy as a just a fucking legend, Zaheed with a goal. As well. Just so much good stuff from Roy's boys. He's got the fountain of youth. He's got them going. Do they just bring him back? Should Roy Hodgkin, at seventy five years old, be the coach of Crystal Palace? Maybe. Maybe. I think one of the things with the with the with his previous team was, it was old and he would play them. And but all those older players who were in that defensive struggle with him are all gone. So now he's got all these young players and will Roy Hodgesen just play like this because the nature of the players he has. He made you just be like, oh, okay. Let's just play them.


One thing, the controversy, the fourth goal that as it got was a penalty. It was not a penalty. Napa appeared It looks like he trips up his feet, but he never touches him, y v a r doesn't intervene. I don't know. I'm glad, fuck v a r. They made the call. They made the call. But it wasn't a bounty. But that's the goal that ended up being the winning goal.


Ayu, zaha, show up and eze, eze do score the goals been made a big difference to have Zaha and Alise and Esa all in the side at the same time. Just gives the team so much juice, and I love I love, you know, I love the defense with Gayhi, and Anderson, they're not deep, but they have good players. And I Sam Johnson coming in for Goita. If you remember him from West Bahram, he was really, really good when they almost stayed up under AllerDice two years ago. He's a good player, good backup. I'm sure, Gaye, to is probably hurt, but I really like they have a good backup. So interesting stuff there.


And then, you know, West ham did go up early than two goals from from Palace. They were up three one Antonio on a set piece as well. And then that last goal from a Garrett on seventy three to make it four three. But, you know, that was the last chance that that that West Ham had. And they're not quite safe yet.


I was listening to the World Soccer Talk podcast with Kristin with with Chris Harris and Carter Krishnier, they seem to think that West James in trouble. I don't think they're in trouble. They're not in trouble at all. They have a great XG. They are playing well. They get they sorry. They didn't play well in this game, but they have enough to get them over the line. Their one went away.


I mean, this just no way that that West hammer going down. There's no way that Moise will go down. He grind out three draws before he fucking blows it. West Ham are so safe. Yes. They're they're they're the best team of the bad teams. They're on minus ten goal difference. Which says to me, this is not a bad team.


They've been finding ways to lose but really, you know, they should be well ahead of all the other team. For them, it's it's their x g. It's just off the it's just off their game. So bone bone we went through earlier is is three under, Ban Ramas, two under, Pequette. Yeah. Those are the three that really damage their x g But otherwise, you know, they're just not scoring the goals you'd expect, and they really have not gotten much out of some players that you'd expect of them like I thought. You'd get more from Maxwell Korné and formats has been out most of the season.


I just maybe at this point, the the Moise scene has gone and Maybe it's time to try again. Maybe try and go to that next level coach. Maybe it's just a landing place for Potter. I think this team with Potter could be interesting. There's good enough talent here. We know that Beckman Rice will probably go. We know that Souschek will go. There's some older players that need to go. Like Crestwell's thirty three now. They got him move those guys up. Sioux Falls was good when he came in, but that was three years ago. And Moises run them all into the ground. So they're getting a lot of miles on the legs. Of West ham, but they'll be safe. There's no way they're going down. None zero, not a chance. Nuka never never.


Then The Monday Night game, two two Lester. And everton. God everton. Watching Roger Bennett do his Instagram stuff about the real feelings of an evertonian Now, whether it's staged or he's yelling or not, that shit's real. They went away. They went up a goal on a penalty by Cabot Louen. Then, so Yanshu gets one back, Varty puts them ahead on a on a classic Varty from Madison, then it will be on the half volley, just an amazing goal. It seemed to be in the air forever. He hammers at home. It will be the best worst player I've ever seen. And, of course, it's that two two. This game was so good. Look at the x g for both his three point four, three point three. That's almost seven goals of real action.


So up and down, shots galore, James Madison missed the penalty late in the first half, Pickford, had it on his little schematic on his on his water ball that said James Madison stays in the middle sixty percent of the time. And what does he do? He doesn't move. So, Pinkford does save the Madison penalty and its amazing stuff there. Just a great, great, great game enjoyable.


We're all pulling for everton. Nobody wants everton to go down. But nobody wants Lester to go down either. So it's tough. Both these teams are probably too good to go down. Definitely unless there's too good to go down. And then ever since promised, they just can't score, they just can't score is fucking brutal. I'm assuming O'Nana has hurt.


So Decorae and Gay were in there with Garner. Twenty two years old. I don't know what he's doing in there. Sadly, the great and powerful Seamus Coleman goes off in a stretcher. Looks like the end is near for him, thirty four years old.


Twelve years at the club. He was there in the early days of Moise. He was there with Layton Bains when they would just cross to each other. And then he survived a complete leg break, came back. It's been the captain always stands up for the team. Shameus Coleman. Just pure everton legend. He'll go down with Tony Herbert as the great pullback in their history.


Just love them. Just love them. But This is my time to say, dear Sean Daish. Let's look at the camera. Never play Michael Kain at full back. Michael Kain at full back again.


Oh Michael Keene. Michael Keene is terrible. He gave away the penalty on a handball. He seems to do something that fucks up. Every week and every time something goes wrong, it's keen's fault. Lease, for all evertonian's sake, stop playing him. Lee's. Jerry MENA is on the bench. Lay Jerry MENA. Lay Connor Cody. They're both on the bench. Lay a three. With Nina and Cody, do anything that's not Michael Keane.


I know he played for you upburnley. I know you trust him. He's fucking awful. Okay? Just stop. Anana wasn't even hurt. Why isn't he playing? You need to score goals. Where is Demari Gray? What are you doing? Why isn't I don't understand what he's trying to do. Sometimes he's a little bit old school daish. I know he likes the quarry, but the quarry is a runner. He's not necessarily an attacker. He was a will be in Macneal with Calvert Lewin. I don't know, man. They're they're still fighting, they're still pushing, but Geish is running out of games. Is the problem. Daish is running out of games. Okay.


So it looks like this, where we stand. City, top of the league, game in hand. That looks pretty solid to me City haven't lost two games in five, in probably three years. So I don't think that'll happen because that's really what arsenal need to even get back in it. They can't lose again. And they have Chelsea tomorrow. Chelsea are terrible, but still. New Castle solidly in third with on thirty three games and new cat and Manchester United sitting solidly in fourth. Liver Pool. With that group that are fighting for Europe, you have Brighton on fifty two with two games in hand, with three games in hand on Villa and Tata were both set on fifty four and Liverpool on fifty six. Brighton, if they hadn't been job done at Spurs game, and then lost that weird game against everton, might have been against Forest, might have had a shout. They're plus twenty one sitting in eighth, won an amazing team.


Then we go down to the delegation zone. It's really between five. For the three places. So, Lester on thirty, leads on thirty, nodding on far as on thirty. Nonium Forest is in the relegation zone on goal difference. So those teams all have the same amount of points.


With lesser having the best goal difference. That's why I don't think lesser will go down. They're too good. They can actually score goals. Like I said, getting to nine wins, maybe even ten. Ten wins really make you safe, but nine might be enough. Then leads have done damage to their goal difference. Maybe they'll just keep losing like this, and then we'll see what happens there. So those three are on thirty, everton on twenty nine, so they can get out still. With a better goal difference than forest, but not better than leads. But I think they will overtake leads. Because leads keep giving up goals. And then Southampton are five adrift of everton six from Southampton. So they're gone probably.


But the schedule looks like this. For the l navigation battles. Let's see what we got here. There are mostly most teams have five match weeks left. Alright.


So let's look at the delegation battle. West Ham one thirty four have the city. That's gonna be difficult. Bournemouth are not leads, place city next. Lester play fulham away, everton have brighten away, I don't know where Brighton is at this point, but we'll see. Then in Nottingham Forest Have Chelsea at Stanford Bridge? Next week. Southampton have fallen. The next week is Southampton verse nine in forest. Next Monday night, That's about as big a game as far as to have played since they went up. They have to beat Nottingham Forest. I mean, they have to beat Southampton. If they can't beat Southampton, they're going down. So let's do Nottingham Forest. Nottingham Forest have Southampton at home must win, then away to Chelsea, home to Arsenal, away to Forrest. That a way to forest game is their final game in the season? I think six will see them up. But again, it depends on the results of the others. I love a allegation battle.


Let us look at leads Leads have city, unit, new castle, Westham and Tottenham, home for new castle, home for spurs. I think that spurs game is probably gonna be easier than they think. City, we assume they're gonna get smoked, but rumor has it. That they may fire Gracia before this game starts. They're gonna fire their manager or four games to go. Seems probably like not a good idea. But seeing as they set the record for goals against in the month of April might be a good idea, but we shall see. City away or leads is going to be very, very difficult. Very difficult. So that was leads, forest.


Let's look at leicester. Luster have. Bullum Way, Liverpool Home, Newcastle Way, Westham Home. That's not an easy group, but I think at this point, Fulham had been injured. I think that Fulham game is there for them to take their unbeaten in their last three so they can feel good about that. They had been really slipping badly before they fired Rogers. And it looks like Dean Smith has got the team back in action. So that home game versus Liverpool will probably be a basketball up and down game but I I feel like Lester got this. Tim Lemons is back. Varty is playing, so he ain't too back in the side. He was too good not to be playing. I don't know. Brandon Rogers must have had a real problem with him because so Enchi is good compared to what they've compared to suitor. Who just was a giant with a big head, who couldn't fucking do anything. He stink. So that's leicester leads we did, forest we did, Everton for everton is their home games.


Can they have enough home games? Their home to city, home to Bournemouth in the last weekend of the season? A way to bournemouth. They've just got to find a way to get a win. They've been drawing a lot. So, but just windless in one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Winless and seven, they needed wins.


These draws are not helping. They could have that that nil nil against Palace really hurt them away. Newcastle, anyone can lose the Newcastle. The Spurs game, they probably had them Chelsea, they probably could have got a point against. They just have to find a way to get a win. They're getting more and more difficult to beat. But at this point, those draws are hurting. They need to win games where everton get a win between Brighton City, wolves, and Boournemouth. They're gonna be looking at wolves and barmouth and say, we need six points from that one. If they get those six, they might be okay. Maybe Brighton I doubt it, but you never know. I just hope Daish does not play Michael Keene because Michael Keene is terrible.


I will give a shout to our friends in Southampton, also winless since March. A bunch of draws there. They did draw to Arsenal destroy their season. So they have forest away, Fulham, Brighton, and Liverpool. They're home to Fulham, home to Liverpool. You know, these are these are not good run ins. For them, they need to probably win all these if they don't beat forest, they're gone. If far as beat them, then far as I have a shot. Okay. My three going down, I'm gonna go South Hampton leads and everything. Because I want for us to stay. Oh, sad sad. Okay. I'm gonna say goodbye. Say goodbye to Hollywood. That was the squeaky bum time podcast with the wrong proteins. We are the foot fall wing of this chop sports channel and presented exclusively by the premier streaming network. We record on Mondays and Thursdays, so be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you're listening on Apple, please rate and review the show so we can reach more people and more people who love football and early Haaland visit guide games.

By Laurent Courtines

I'm here and I am ready to go. Been doing my homework and I have things to say.

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