Frank Lampard’s Return to Chelsea: A PERFECT Fit for Now – Liverpool v Arsenal TITLE DECIDER Preview

Welcome to Episode #242 of the Squeaky Bum Time podcast, where we dive deep into the world of football and discuss exciting topics such as Frank Lampard’s return to Chelsea, the importance of good coaching in the Premier League, and incredible performances of certain teams and players. In this episode, we also analyze Liverpool’s challenges and compare the stats of Brentford and United. Join us for compelling discussions and in-depth analysis on all things football.

– Frank Lampard returns to Chelsea as manager, seen as the right fit for the club at this moment due to his connection with the club and its history.

– Lampard’s impact on Chelsea is discussed, despite not being a great manager.

– Aston Villa’s impressive growth under Unai Emery, transforming from a team just above the relegation zone to a European spot contender.

– Brighton’s exciting play under Desirby, becoming a thrilling team to watch.

– Nottingham Forest faces a relegation battle as their winless run continues.

– Liverpool’s struggles, Klopp’s reluctance to change tactics, and Alisson’s fantastic performance this season are analyzed.

– Comparing Brentford and United in terms of expected goals and goal differences, highlighting their similarities and differences.

– West Ham’s disastrous 5-1 loss to Newcastle and the struggles of Jared Bowen and David Moyes are discussed.

– Upcoming Premier League matches are previewed, including the exciting matchups between Leeds and Crystal Palace, and Liverpool and Arsenal.

– Arsenal’s road to a potential league title and the significance of their game against Liverpool are explored.



0:00:02 – Frank Lampard Returns to Chelsea

0:10:48 – Good Coaching in Premier League

0:25:28 – Optimizing Possibilities

0:33:34 – Premier League Goals & Trends

0:40:58 – Football Games and Coaches

0:02:15 – Haverts’ Chances at Goal

0:08:26 – Goalless Draws in Liverpool-Chelsea Matchups

0:12:10 – Impact of Good Coaching

0:17:50 – The Legend of the Roberto De Zerbi

0:23:21 – The Dismal Prospects of Forest

0:32:22 – Equal Teams, Unequal Playstyles

0:50:00 – Arsenal’s Long Winless Streak at Anfield


#FrankLampard #ChelseaManager #PremierLeague #AstonVilla #UnaiEmery #Brighton #DeZerbi #NottinghamForest #Liverpool #Klopp #Alisson #Brentford #FootballStats #Leeds #CrystalPalace #Arsenal #Coaching #FootballAnalysis #manchesterUnited




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Hello, and welcome to the squeaky bum time podcast presented exclusively on the chop sports channel of the premier streaming network. We are recording this on Thursday, April six. Oh, shit. I am your host, Laurent Corteens, in this episode, Newcastle, Trump in London against West ham, United are professional in dispatch, Frankfurt, and Leeds get a much needed win in their fight against relegation. But first, he is back. He is back at Chelsea. Mister, Frank Lampard, the chosen son has returned to Chelsea football club, and we're gonna get right into it. But first, Like, share. Subscribe. Like, share. Subscribe. So I want everyone to like, share and subscribe. Please if you're on YouTube, please subscribe. If you are on your favorite podcast player, please follow or subscribe or whoever the the terminology is, where you are, where where you wanna be, so you can download the show and listen to it and enjoy it all the time. Okay. Frank Lampard has been named Chelsea manager.


Midweek, on Tuesday, Chelsea played a nil nil versus Liverpool. Under Bruno, who was former great from Brighton, had been under had played under Potter, and then manage the the team. And, you know, it was a me game. Liverpool did not really too much. They still looked very, very weak. Once again, Chelsea, XG, the F out of Liverpool, with two point two, and had chance after chance after chance and the story of Liverpool of Chelsea, of course, is they can't score, and the story of Liverpool is, of course, they can't stop anyone. So liver pool luckily did get a clean sheet they did not deserve that clean sheet. Alison was the man of the match for Liverpool. And on any given day, if it had not been for Alison, Liberty would have lost this game, two nil, three nil, easy.


I have to say the big the big just the big chances here, we're just gonna get through by XG against Kai Haverts on twelve has a six a point six one, a fifty fifty chance, over fifty percent chance goal. He blows it on the pass from Koolabali. Of course, he blows it, then the next best. Haverts again has almost fifty percent chance in the second half on fifty, and there's a couple of other ones, couple of other chances here and there. But it's Havrods who has two chances in on goal and yaks them. Both. One is chopped off for a hand ball, so there's actually a third one. But it is just an incredible thing that Havrts gets in on goal as often as he does and he is limp. Anyway, that's the game side.


After the game, within twenty four hours of that, the rumors of Frank lampard coming back to the team come through And there's a little bit of head scratching because Franklin Park, Franklin is not a great manager. Is he better than only Gunnar sol Shar? Probably, but there's a lot of similarities in these two. So, Franklin Park, first job at derby. Inherited them in fourth, finished, and sixth. So there's that inherited Chelsea, they finished third, he left when they were in sixth. Inherits everton, when they are in seventeenth, then they finish in eighteenth, So, or some sixteenth and finishing nineteenth or something like that.


And so, basically, Frank has never improved his teams. He's not very tactically sound if you remember, if you were to go back and sort of go through some of the conversations we had around Franklin Park, what he was was an an attacking manager who could set up the team to defend. But if he set up the team to defend, it could not score. So he doesn't have a multidimensional plan he either can attack or he can defend. He cannot do both. He doesn't have a plan to allow his team to attack and then be solid on the way back.


If you remember his Chelsea time, it was always sort of you know, a little bit bitty and a little bit not defensive, and he couldn't really quite get the team to to score and defend or defend and score. So his problems at Chelsea was that he was giving up too many goals and didn't seem to understand that Antonio Rudiger was his best defender. Remember, he left him out. It's Tuko who puts him in and it's under Rudiger with silver that the whole thing changes. Which is pretty fantastic and pretty weird. How do you not see that Rudiger is a fantastic defender? He's so good that he's at Real Madrid. What are you doing? So Frank is not really a great viewer of Better in talent.


He was good with young players. I will give him credit for Mason Mount. I will give him credit for Tami Abraham, Tommori, He seemed to have a good understanding of how to get young players to play. And maybe that's maybe they know who he is, maybe he had some gravitas. And he had a weird manner after games. It was like this half smile, half sad. He he understood it, but I don't think he's a great manager. In any sense. However, however, the key thing now is he's the right manager for Chelsea right now in the context of where they are in this season in this place. So why do I say that? What was happening with Chelsea was they were losing the fans, they were losing their connectivity to who they were. And I talked about it the last episode and I've been sharing some reels on Facebook so you can find those there. They were losing connection to who they were.


And Frank lampard represents Chelsea through and through. He's as Chelsea He's mister Chelsea to to Gerard's Chelsea. Although, he did play in other clubs. He's the highest scoring midfielder of all time, if you don't know who he is. And He represents the best of Chelsea, the defensive, the hard work, the working class, ethos, but flash of London. So he ticks a lot of the boxes that Chelsea holds onto. And he's an embodiment of the club and its most successful period in the Abramovich era. And he's tough and he played hard.


Now, like I said, I've already gone through that he's not a great manager. He's a good manager for Chelsea right now because what they need really is a PR enthuse, a PR kick that will allow that season to end and kind of just go through and get out of the sort of bad vibes that the season has and kind of go back to where they were. The thing that's so crazy about this process is two years ago, Franklin Park was the manager of Chelsea. Chelsea in the course of a year have gone from Tucall. To potter, to lampard, they're going down in quality of coach to be fair. And they're now just right back where they started before, you know, after the transfer ban.


They're literally, except now they have the weight of, you know, seven hundred million dollars in players who I could make the argument that none of them are game breakers and game changers. I mean, Enzo Fernandez is a is a is a really good passing midfielder. He's a and he's the one who calls eighty minute. He's a player who, you know, he he does a job that is important and works and you need more players to make the impact of that player. He's he's He's Michael Carrick. He's not, you know, Zenadim done. He's not gonna change the fortune of your team. He makes a difference. And there's a lot of great players on Chelsea, but they're missing that key piece and that is a goal score and it just continues to happen.


Again and again and again Chelsea create opportunities and don't finish them. In this game, that they just played. It was an incredible amount of opportunities and they didn't finish them. As much as many things that I shit on Liverpool as a sport, And I do. Anyone can admit this was a gut check performance for Liverpool, and they're happy to get the draw out of this game. But the weird thing is is Liverpool and Chelsea have played I think six or seven draws in a row. I don't think anyone scored a goal. In one of these match ups.


I'm gonna look at it right now. Have this wonderful. I love Facebook rep, by the way. Yes. The last Four games have been nil nil. That includes an FA Cup final and an NFL cup final. So that was that both last year. So four nil Nails, then a two two draw on a one one draw. The last game that saw a result in this game came from March in twenty twenty one, a one mil to Chelsea at anfield during the pandemic. So that's kind of a crazy stat that they are in those two areas. The all time Who cares about the old time historic? Anyway, so Frank Lampard, back in the Premier League, gonna see the team out for the last nine games of the year.


A strange appointment that I think makes sense and I think that Chelsea faithful will be okay with. At least he's one of their own. He's there, Frank. He's their mistake. When he makes mistakes, they'll be like, okay. It's Franklin Park. I know what he is. I know what he's gonna do, and they're just gonna do their thing and be happy with what they get. I'd love to hear whatever what other folks think you know, please go on Facebook. Let me know Twitter wherever you hear it. Just let me know in the comments of of of Apple and or or wherever you listen to your podcast so that we can chat about it. But interesting stuff, I think lampard is the right appointment for right now. And he better not do well because if he wins the Champions League, then they're gonna have to keep them and that's gonna be a giant fucking shit show for Chelsea.


But We did have one, two, three, four, five, six match ups during the midweek that I told you about on Monday during that megatron hour long show. But let's just go through the results and talk about them as we go. Normally, I kinda go through the scores, but we got through Frank and now just go through the scores. We'll talk about the great and powerful Aston Villa defeating Lester with their new coach Adam Sadler, not Adam Sadler. That would be weird. Ali Watkins continues his raging rampage Aston Villa went up in this game, then Harvey Barnes had a really nice goal on the wing fired it in, then lost but not forgotten.


Bertrand Triore, he cut his hair and he wasn't wearing his cool wristbands from his home country of Bakina Faso. You know, he was wearing the red, gold, and green, very very Jamaican style, but very African. He came on, he got a wonder goal to to win the game after Lester had been down a man because Jewsbury Hall got himself a red card. For two yellows within a six minute span. I think the story here is not so much this game because this game was just a regular kind of mid table thing. It's the growth of Aston Villa during this season.


Aston Villa, friends, sit in seventh place this season. When Unai Amre took over this team, they were one game one spot above the delegation zone. They are now in a European spot and pushing pushing pushing. They're getting very very very close So very impressive stuff from mister Unai Emery. And if we can go back and have a look, I just wanna make sure I know exactly where he took over. So it was a draw to men unite to Manchester City. I think waste it. I don't know where that loss is for, that got that got him fired.


Anyway, whatever the case is, Aston Villa are on a one, two, three, four, five, six game unbeaten streak with a draw there. With five wins. Good quality wins. They're scoring goals. They're not giving up lunch. You know, they they they beat in Chelsea. They beat Lester. They took care of business with everton. They they beat Crystal Palace. I mean, they don't have a lot of great wins, but they are climbing up the table and it just goes to show what a good coach can do. When you don't have a good coach in the Premier League, you are in trouble. You need good coaching to win in the Premier League, especially now, especially with how things are going. It's just so difficult with the level of these teams to try and win games with a hand behind your back with your team not having a plan, with your team just not where it needs to be. If I recall properly, I think Yeah.


Unai emery's first game was November sixth. They beat United three one on a master class These are these weird Leon Bailey and and Ali Watkins. So that united game, they go five hundred, they got a win one, lose one, win one, lose win. They have a good win against Tautam, lose in the FA cup to Steven. It's just probably the low point. He probably wouldn't have liked that. They have a little bit of a blip losing to Leicester City. Well, that's not too bad. They lost a Leicester in that four two game, and then they had a dip against city and arsenal, which is no big deal, you know, so that looks like bad when they lose three in a row. But it's losing to city and arsenal is not really a big deal. Especially where those two teams are. But then they write the ship and go on a run and have climbed the table ever since. Just fantastic stuff from Unai Emery and he's a fit for that club.


I think when I was talking about that cultural piece of like, hey, Azuna, I am really right for Arsenal. Are these managers right? He Unai Emery suffers from that first impression when he took over Arsenal. His English was easy to make fun of he's got that kind of look where he's got this kind of strange face and his hair is greased back. And he he looks a little bit odd and he would always say good evening, And it it just didn't work.


I think, especially because some of these clubs are, you know, mega international brands, the coach of the team effectively because of the way that Premier League is set up and the managers hold this higher super status. Effectively, you're the spokesman, soup chairman of the board for the team. You're the CEO, and coach of the team. So from a marketing perspective, I don't think Emery left arsenal fans feeling good about who is in charge of their team. And so it it just spotted a little bit. I mean, you won an FA cup. No big deal. You know, but it just wasn't a cultural fit in that moment.


And so at Aston Villa, I think it's the right size of a club. It's the right feeling the club and the supporters really appreciate him. They've been in a championship. They know what it means. They have a hard time. They love Dean Smith. They they I don't think they ever took to Gerard. I think they saw Gerard as using their club as a stepping stone, and so he did not get a lot of rope to hang himself. I don't think Gerrard's results were particularly bad. You know, he he didn't have to get fired. It just didn't seem to progress. It didn't seem to be working. It didn't feel right. And then that lack of connection with the fans made Gerrard get pulled away. I think they sort of saw their club, Astonville, fans are very smart. They know that Gerrard was just like using Villa as a holding pattern to see if he could get the Liverpool.


And Emery feels like the kind of guy who might stay at Aston Villa for a while. He fits the profile of your Villa Real's, your your spot where he makes sense like he could become a legend at Aston Villa. If he chooses to sort of go, you know what? I've gone up to the mountain. I've gone to PSG. I've gone to Arsenal. Let me understand who I am and stay here at Aston Villa. And try and win something. And I think he can. And I really like what he's done. And he'll he'll become a talking point as we go further into the season. He may he's putting his hat in the ring for know, at least a manager of the month of of March. I don't think he could be manager of the season. It's definitely gonna be Artheta who's had a great great, great season, unbelievable season to be fair.


Brighten verse bournemouth. This was just, you know, my guys from freaking brighten and whole valvian. I love Bournemouth. I love what Gary O'Neil's doing. But the Zerbe is just a legend, young Evan Ferguson with an amazing flicked back goal, you know, eighteen year old strikers who and a team that's an attacking thing for the for the bright and heads, for the sea goals as we call ourselves, for the goals, for the goal heads, No. We don't no one calls us that. The secret every team every team everyone loves what Desirby has done with this club from Potter, and this is where it gets interesting because If you look back at history, Potter's team were very much possession based and defend with the ball, but were goal shy.


And what I think Desirby has done with this team and it and it's his look too. He's got, like, this crazy haircut and a weird sort of manicured beard. He's got a little bit of a swag, a little bit of a, I wish Mike was here, we would have a banter about it. He's got a little bit of an Italian name motherfuckers. I'm I'm wearing designer jeans. Let's go score some fucking goals. And he gets mad and he's got yellow cards on the sideline. And he's got some like go get me some goals.


And I think one of the things he did with the side was like, Sally March, I need you to score ten goals. Mattomo, I need you to score ten goals. If you're with Danny Welbeck Danny Welbeck, you're not scoring ten goals. But I need somebody up front I mean, keep empowered his team to say, hey, meet up. Go score some goals. Like, there's something about the deserved thing And then there's a plane, like, the patterns of play, the Kaiseido, the work grade of Macallister.


It's just such a fucking good team. They're just incredible right now and bringing young laborers through. So in the ninety fifth minute, we've had Gabriel Seixarez in CISO scoring his first goal we saw Levi called Will come in, you know, just a lot of good play or on the bench at least, just a lot of good players in dev They're still trying to work him into the side. But Esteban and and Kaiseido, along with gross, with just my men's of the match. Jason Steele, who took over for Sanchez, had a goal earlier in a week where he just fired it over the top, gotten the goal to keep her assist. I think that was during the week, but I might have missed it during my conversations.


Anyway, I just adore Brighton. I mean, again, I'm here to watch the game, so sometimes you don't have to. Maybe you're a Liverpool fan. Maybe you're you're whatever. You're you're you're a Wes Brom fan, you're a Wolf's fan. This team is the team to watch. They are so fucking good like when you hear that Moises Kaiseido is gonna be worth eighty million pounds. That shit's real. He's really good. Like, Liverpool, go look at Kaisaita. He's what do I now them used to be except he's better. Right? Because he can carry the ball. Just a great, great player, a great, great team.


And then on the Bournemouth side, they just couldn't really get much going. They're just out class. They're not their their job is not to get points against Brighton. Their job is to get points against other team. And they hung in. I mean, they really only gave up for a team as good as brighten. They really didn't give up too much.


Salanky getting two shots on target, trying to help the team. Gary O'Neill, I like. I think I think I think if Ormuth go down, which they likely will, they should keep O'Neil. I'm not a great judge of coaches. I just like him. He's got a good demeanor. This is his first job and I think I think that Boymouth do show fight and they do win games that you're not that you're surprised about, but they're right in there and we'll go through the table in a minute.


Onto leads. Christian, cover your ears, my friend, nodding on forest. Lose away from home to one. The great Jack Harrison levels the score after Ariel Mongala scored a goal early and then Louis Stineisterre just before the half. This was one way traffic, especially in the first half. It was all. All leads sorry. After the goal, sorry. Leads came out. So let me get this right. I just wanna get the narrative correct. Nadian Forest came out and showed fight and gets the goal from Mongala, but then they they back off and the rest of the half is all leads. They take the next ten shots in a row and end up scoring end up end up scoring on their two on their two shots that go on goal. From Jack Harrison and Cynera who cuts in and fires it in from his right foot. Harrison from the left side, a left footed goal get that offer rebound from Morocco, and he's the one who's alive to it.


And in the second half, only in the last five to only in the last ten minutes does does noninforce get anything going? And they're really not great efforts. A couple of volleys that are just, you know, low quality low x g, not really great opportunities to score, but, you know, leads had most of the shots. Most of the chances in the second half, twenty one shots, six on target. You know, none of them for us had thirteen shots, but it was all limp. They really didn't do anything. So it looks like it looks like Javier Garcia's got this team together. And I'm actually surprised that Cooper didn't get fired. It's they really wanna fire the manager.


But I guess, for Forest, it's about those those games away from home. I mean, the game's at home that they need. And there's almost like this acceptance that if it's an away game, we're not winning. So on Saturday, they've got Aston Villa. Their home games are United, Brighton, Southampton, and Arsenal.


It's not looking good for the great and powerful trees. They are on a windless run of one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight in a row without a win, but they could have beat wolves. They got lucky against Citi. They should they they drew against Ebertson. These are games that they needed. They needed the Ebertson game. And those draws really start to hurt. You know, they were happy with that United draw, and that's when they were that was probably one of their higher points in the season, but to not get any more results after that, they really couldn't kick on the pacing they took the West Ham away was a little bit brutal. They just need to find a way to get some points. That that period in the middle of the season when they went on a three game on beaten run defeating Palace and Totham scenes worlds away, and they've just gotta get it back together, find a wind somewhere Astonville is gonna be tough. Their next four are brutal, Villa, United, Liverpool, Brighton, Redford, with the home games against United and and Brighton gonna be really tough. They've gotta see if they can get something out of these games because the relegation battle is indeed a real battle to blood, thunder, death, and doom.


We talked about Chelsea and the Neil Neil, but I did wanna give some I did wanna give a little bit more color to that game because I think I really just talked about Chelsea. Liver Pool were bad. Krop is just broken. They did not muster anything point three x g for a Liverpool team. It's just it's just wrong. Like, it it just can't happen.


Nunez, Fermino, and Jota upfront, no sala in this one. I think, you know, Klapp's trying to send a message, especially after the last game against Citi. But still Fabino and Henderson. Is there just that there's no one else at this point? I don't know. What did Arthur Melo do? Did he kill someone? How come he hasn't been tried?


Fabio Cavallo had some burn early in the season and then vanished yet the midfield still not getting anywhere. They're not really doing anything. And at this point, like, can clap play different? Do they have to play a four three three with a high line all the time? Even though they don't press anymore or they're at least not effective in the press and can't win a midfield ball anymore. Like, I don't understand. Like, Is it is it philosophical that Klomp thinks if I stand off and I don't do my gangrene press push style. Do I lose the team and the whole thing collapses? Like, I don't quite understand what the what the plan is anymore or what what's supposed to happen? Can he adapt an hour?


The same things were said about guardiola in some of our down seasons where he said, I'm gonna do the way I do it, especially when I think about the the Fernando Altamendi years, when we had when when we had Fernandino in the back and he was just trying to defend and hang on, you know, that was the that was the seasonal season one. I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? We couldn't couldn't do anything because our all defenders died. And then we get Diaz the following season and win two more titles in a row. But I don't quite understand Klopp's reticence to change or at least play differently at all. It's bizarre. I don't know. It's a weird season. And then he's sort of saying things like, if it was any other season, I would have gotten fired. Like, I understand he's trying to be like, hey, some of this is on me. I think he's trying to deflect a little bit, but Liverpool are in a really, really weird state.


And it's so surprising as a city fan who Listen. I hate them, but I'm petrified. When Mossama coming down the wing is scary. Those balls from Trent are petrifying. But what I have noticed is Trent doesn't get in that three quarter space anymore. About twenty yards from the halfway line to make those deep crosses anymore. Those are gone. They don't exist anymore because he's not there anymore. Because they can't win the ball high enough. And he can't cheat to get up there because they're defending too deep. Everything is ten yards too deep a half a second, too slow, and all this space and time, it's all connected. And the whole thing not working, it just collapses. You know? And and and we've been talking about it all season, but it's always good to remind people that it's never one thing. Right? Football is a completely a weak link sport. And if one thing breaks, especially in a complicated, complex system of pressing the way that Liverpool did.


And you remove one key player from that group. And and it was right. They needed to have Monet Go. And then you lose the replacement in Diaz. Who I've forgotten. I mean, I I loved him, but he's just not available anymore. The whole thing starts to break down.


And Alison I'm telling you is like a plus ten goal keeper this year. It could have been worse for Liverpool this year. He's fourteen goals better than Edison. Fourteen because Edison's a minus four unexpected saves. Allison is plus ten. In the game against Chelsea, he was plus one and a half just in that game. So it would have all those goals that he stopped from habits from any other player. Those were any other keeper. Those are goals.


But Alison has just been so fantastic. He's the best keeper in the league this year. Plus eleven on what's the term line? I wanna I wanna say it post shot expected goals minus goals allowed. It's deep nerd, but once you get the concept of it, it it makes sense. So it's like you take x g and you apply that to the shot and then you subtract it from if the shots went in. And he's just the best goalkeeper by far this season. Liver pool should be worse worse, worse this year. They're Like, they have a regression in them to go further down than what they are now. And that's fucking scary. So Liverpool have a lot of work to do because Alison's been bailing their asses out. Anyway, got a little bit down a Liverpool hole. But I think I think Liverpool fans and fans of the show want my honesty even if it's my own biased honesty, you know, I don't hate I love I don't like Liverpool, but I will say what I see, and they have been lucky. To be where they are, and they're not even good. And they were lucky in the past. Sorry, Manny. They were lucky. They were lucky. Alison is fantastic. He saves their ass Now, he is fantastic every season. He's the best goalkeeper in the world. Market down.


Then yesterday, we had United One Nails against Bradford really good performance by United. Solid didn't give up much. Rashford with the goal, you know, really looked strong. And then they were able to see it out and didn't really give up much to the great and powerful Ivan Toni. A strong performance, a home team performance, a performance that they needed badly. I think, you know, rashford really needed that goal. Sabitzer, nicely done to get it onto the head. But Fernandez, of course, Pulling the strings had probably this best game in a while, was really able to from deep dictate what they did, created lots of shot opportunities for them to score and a lot and a lot of work there.


The hell didn't even have to do much Reduced Tony. Tony didn't have a shot on target. There was just one from Shade late. Kevin Shade coming off the bench late. For Waimo, got one shot on target and just, you know, lucky lucky for United to not really have to worry. It was a really good shot. It was like a a plus four, a point four shot. So actually the most difficult shot The most valuable shot in the game came from shade. I know. I know. It's nerd. Don't worry about it. There's more nerd coming. It it it can't really work.


But, anyway, there was a conversation actually. I wanted to take a step back. There was a conversation we had in the chat, in our group chat on WhatsApp. That I said that United and Bradford were equal. Now, we got it was like, what do you mean? United are way better? Yes. United are way better. They have way more talent They have way more money spent in the club. They play way more money.


What that what I said was when I said that Brentford and United were equal, was that their underlying numbers of the team in terms of what they've created, in terms of goals scored, and what they've prevented in terms of goals against is the same. What Bradford is doing is optimizing their opportunities based on the talent they have, and United is optimizing based on the talent that they have. The difference is is that United is playing a much more progressive possession based style under Ten Hogs who's coming from the Dutch, and Thomas Frank has got this team all defense grafting for each other. They score goals on set pieces. So they're not equal. But in terms of the REIT, of what happens on the pitch, they are creating a similar amount. And here's what I mean by that.


So if I go to my deep nerd core hole and I sort and and let's do let's do traditional stats first. Brentford has scored forty six goals and United have scored forty two goals. Weird. United have given up thirty seven goals. Stanford have given up thirty eight goals. That's a goal difference of plus eight for Bradford and plus five for United. So just on scored and against Brentford have been better. Right? Now how all those goals get made? I don't know. But just to give you a sense. Right? Like and then on the expected goals, which is the goals you would have expected to score based on the shots taken and where they were taken by whom they were taken.


United have an x g of thirty oh, sorry. Their x g for goals is forty two point four and Brentford's is forty one point five. So they're plus five on goals because they have Ivan Toni and United for are are right in line, but I think that Vout VEGHorse. If they had a real striker, you'd be a plus. So good teams tend to outperform their goal, x g, because they have good strikers. Because remember x g is the average. So if you have a good striker, they're usually like a plus four, plus five. On average. Right? Like, all the good ones are. I think Holland is like a plus ten this season. So just to give you a sense, and and Tony makes a difference for Bradford. He allows them to get the goals that they would expect. Now, on the defensive side, the x g four united is right in line, thirty six goals against goals allowed. So perfectly in line. For Bradford, it's also in line. They are on thirty eight. So what I mean by those teams being the same is that in terms of what they've created, what you'd expect expected goals for and against their equal. But how they get to those numbers is where the talent diverges. For Bradford, It is about grafting and getting the most out of that squad. And for United, it's being a progressive team that's playing in a offensive style that utilizes the high quality of the team. So they've been actually not great at it to be fair, whereas, Bradford are maximizing and probably getting close to the ceiling of what they can be, United are kind of have a lot of growth to get better and fill in the boots of the quality of the team.


Okay. I hope that wasn't too weird. So we got more games to go. What else do I got? Oh, oh, man. West ham West ham one Newcastle five.


This was a statement game for I West ham. They fucking killed. They killed. Newcastle killed West ham. And West ham everything was their own fault. Keepers make a mistake, guys making bad passes, everything just a mess. And then after a while, Newcastle just sat back and waited for West ham and they just hit them on a break with two late goals from ESSAK and Jolinton. If Jolinton scores two goals on you, you know you fucked up. That guy couldn't finish in a fucking Cohort House. Just a mess. So yeah, he's like a a thirteen year old boy just getting his feelings feeling. The guy can't finish at all. He's a mess. So For him to score two goals in Calin Wilson getting two goals in Isaac, I mean, just a great performance, two braces by telling your old boys in Wilson and Joe Linton who were there, before the takeover. And then ESAC, your new boy who's gonna really change the team. He's such a good player, ESAC, he's linking things together.


But this was an easy game for Newcastle. They just completely took apart Westham, who had early chances again the story of their season. I'm gonna say it again. Expected goals. Yeah. For them, my guy who was so so great last season, Jared Bone just unable to put the team together. He did create the goal for Zuma on a set piece cross that that was headed in, but it's been his lack of goals this season for Jared Bowen that has really hurt hurt Westham a lot.


So just to give you a sense, last season, his expected goals was twelve, and he scored twelve and this season his expected goal is seven and he's only scored four. So he's not he's both not and he he's not scoring and he's not creating enough. So it's just not enough from him. They're not they didn't get anything from Antonio this year, and they've just had not having any luck. You know, Westham lives on your set pieces and they live on one or two goals here or there, but to lose five one at home. That is a fireable offense for the at risk and troubled David Moise, but he hangs on. It didn't seem like they were gonna fire him.


They did get a nice win on the weekend against I think it was I think it was Southampton. They beat one nil. But for them, you know, they just have to survive and get through the season. I believe that Scamaka got sent home. Yes. They did beat Southampton, and they had that draw against Astom Villa. They're still in Europe. Which is fucking bizarre. They've got to go to Gink in the conference league. And they're in the quarter finals of that thing.


So again, West Ham fighting on two fronts. It's never been it's never really been Moises best thing. They had been a four they've been on a four game unbeaten run but only one of those games was in the Premier League or two. And so they're in a little bit of a of a dire straight right there. So strange there. I mean, I don't think they'll go down, but it is weird that they are in the shape that they are in. I mean, I really love where Newcastle are. They are back in third place, tied with United, but have a massive advantage in gold difference, which is the first high breaker of plus twenty six while United, like I said, only plus five with seven losses. United only have three losses. They're the second joint best in terms of not losing. Their prom is they have eight, they have eleven draws to that that have really hurt their season. So if they can try get half of those, and they'll be right right there with Citi and and Arsenal, could be very very interesting.


So that was the midweek. That was all the fixtures that happened. What an amazing thing? So in terms of this week match week thirty. Oh my god. There's only eight games to go. Nine games to week. Three. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Eight games to go.


The big headliner games, I think a fun game, the early game, early kickoff is united versus everton, Dice bringing his boys coming off a really nice draw. And and fight from everton. They just gained score goals. I just feel like they're in decent shape. They go early to United. They're gonna stifle United. It's gonna take something from United. To break down everton. Of course, they have more talent. Again, this is gonna be another fist fight the way that United just had with Bradford gonna feel like, oh, god. Can we just have an easy game in a battle there?


Then the the noon kickoff, the the three PM kickoffs, the traditional English game. For your goal zone friends, Fulham and West ham, Fulham again sliding now mid table. I think we talked about them. Reflected goals aren't very good, so they're slowed down. They've lost MitraBitch for the rest of the season because of the push that he did to the referee. He got an eight game ban for that, effectively out for the rest of the season, and he had been carrying their goal scoring They were living on the power of Polenia, but I think that team is getting not found out, but it did just they they they got the points they got regardless of whether they deserved them or not on some lock and some good work. And so they're a little bit weaker. I think I like West Ham in this game away at Fulham. It should be something that I think West Ham can get something from.


Villa versus Forrest. We talked about Forrest. We talked about Villa. Away from home. I don't like Forest at all, especially against this villa team who are scoring goals for fun. Ali Watkins, scoring goals every week. He scored again. Like I talked about in that earlier game against Lester City.


Villa at home now, just two points behind Brighton and six points behind Tautenham. Tautenham better watch their back. Villa is coming for you. They have a chance at Europe. Of good chance, of very good chance. That's a good villa side.


I think if you remember way back when, Mike and I liked villa, We liked the sign. We liked Boendia. We liked Watkins. We liked what they were doing. And it was Gerard who who yacked it. And now that they have when I am ready, they're playing much, much, much better. The great and powerful Lesto City, a six pointer. We're gonna have six pointers all the time.


Our at home Vers Bournemouth with no coach. I don't like where Lester are right now. They didn't put in a great performance against Villa. Adam Sandler. Sandler is not gonna have too much to say there. They need to get a manager in sooner rather than later where their season is going to slip away.


They can't stop anybody. They don't have a goalkeeper. They have stopes, central defender who's built like a lurch. And FalconFice who seems to have an error in him in every game. And Didi used to be that shielding midfielder. Now he seems to make a mistake every week. He gave it a goal on a pass across. That's who gave up that's who that's who provided the ball to Triare on the amazing wonder goal that gave Villa the win. He seems to make a mistake every week. They need tea lemons. There's no vardy. There's no heart and soul with Michael. All the guys from the fifteen team are all gone, and they're just not getting it done.


I like Bournemouth in this game to get something, to get something out of that. And then the next game would be Brentford versus Newcastle. Redford at home a different beast than Newcastle. This has draw written all over it. Redford are gonna claw up, scratch, and fight. New Castle. This will be probably the most physical game you'll see because both these teams that go at it, it's gonna be tough. The battle's gonna be in the midfield between Willic, and Linton, and Bruno Gamaire, and North Guard, and Velt all those guys for Bradford. I'm just gonna go at it. And whoever can win that midfield battle for Bradford to get their their strikers up front will bring victory for their team. I like Bradford at home. Good good result. You'll expect Newcastle will have stayed in London for this game because Newcastle is a little bit further away, so we'll see what's there.


And then Chelsea, under Frank Lampard. In his first game, get wolves under Lopateghi. Wolves sitting a little a little pretty. They've got a one point lead against the pack. I like Chelsea in this game. I think there'll be a vibes bounce. Mason Mountain will dust off his boots and go play for Chelsea.


You still have to figure out who, Kai however, is sleeping with, who he has pictures of, he should not be playing Stryker ever again. Maybe Obama and comes in, maybe they change things up. We don't know what Frank's gonna do. He's a madman. He's lunatic. I like I like Chelsea in this game just from talent alone. Not because I think Frank's gonna do anything weird. He's just got a better team and we'll do something. By the way, Lopez Techie would be a good coach for Chelsea. Any of these coaches would be a good coach for Chelsea. It's weird. I don't know what the fuck Chelsea or a mess, by the way.


Bringing in Franklin Park, I sort of thought it was a good thing. But only for the sake of just like, let's take the temperature down and figure out what the fuck's going on. Because right now, it's a complete and total shit show. The late game on Saturday Alright. Not the late game. There's two games. Oh, we're having a big schedule. So is Tottenham against Brighton? I don't know what I'm gonna get from spurs at this point. We still don't have a coach. It's still gonna be Stig Stinelli Stinelli and and and and the other dude, I can't remember his name, who's got a cracked skull. And then, you know, I just like what I see from from Brighton. I don't see any reason why taught them will win this game, brighten or better than they are by a lot. And I think they'll get lit up, honestly. Desirby will find a way to expose Eric Dyer and get them smoked. We'll keep going straight straight down the line.


A city versus Southampton. On paper, this looks like an easy game. But anytime you have to go to Southampton, fucking weird shit happens. If Citi loses this game, the season's over, it could be a walkthrough. I'll probably be the only person who's watching this game. But city versus South Hampton, I'm I think city are probably, like, plus one thousand favorites. So a little bit weird there.


Then Sunday Sunday Sunday, we have two big big games. Ellen Road leads at home versus crystal palace. Roy Revolution is back. Roy is gonna make this a drop. This has got draw written all over it. Leeds come off a good game, a good win against Forrest, but Palace are more talented and have a strong coach, whereas leads have played in midweek. I gotta think they got some dead legs, heavy legs. Palace will get a draw here. They'd love to win. If they win, they're completely safe. That's my take on this. If they get a win, they're safe. And then I didn't even I don't know why I should've just left the whole thing. Liverpool versus arsenal. We'll end it with Liverpool versus arsenal. A massive game. A massive, massive game for Arsenal.


For Liverpool, like we just talked about, they're just trying to get through the string, but Liberty at Anfield with something on the game. The last time they had a home game like this, they did really well. Sorry. May did they I'm getting I'm getting games confused. I've been watching so much football. I don't even remember. I just have to look. I wanna look very quickly at some of the results. So the last yeah. United game was the last home game. Okay. They haven't been at home for a while. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. The last home game against a big team was against United. Where they completely pasted them and that was seven mil. And we thought they got off the Schneide. And then, of course, they go they go ahead and lose two in a row and lose the bournemouth. And then Citi might mock the floor with them. So they're finally at home. They're scheduled in the back half of the season.


Lots and lots of home games for our for Liverpool. The first one being this home game versus arsenal. If Liverpool wanna do anything, which I don't think they can, they're not good enough, they have to beat arsenal. If we wanna have a league title, Liverpool have to beat arsenal. I don't wanna say this out loud, but I'm trying to be ruining. They'll be shades of nineteen eighty nine, I think, coming through this game famously when Liverpool, when Arsenal went up to Anfield and won the league on the last day of the season. That's an amazing documentary about it. It's called, like, eighty nine or something. Really good at recommended it. It was on Netflix or something. Watch that one. Arsenal have not won at anfield in Eons. It's gonna be tough Liver Pool will show up in this game. I expect them to. It's really gonna be about the first Twenty minutes is where Liverpool are gonna have a shot.


The games at Enfield, let's see, the last Oh, man, this is all backwards. I I have such a shit ton. Let me see. Let me pull. What's this? Oh, I don't know what's happening. Anyway, oh, All matches. Here we go. Oh, all matches. I don't want all matches. Here we go.


Arsenal have not won at anfield. At anfield. At anfield. Arsenal have not won at anfield. It's in almost a decade, at least. It's been a really, really long time. Infield. Infield. No. I'm just going through a list. I know it's this very exciting podcasting. Nothing here. So arsenal basically have not won at anfield in a very long time. I don't know when it was. I'd have to really get a a better sense of it.


Arsenal at enfield. Oh, that's nineteen nineteen. That one doesn't really help. Nineteen twenty seven. Yeah. That these I don't know what the hell I'm looking at. No big deal.


But I think the big thing to take away from for this game is if ever if arsenal win this game, they've won the league. This there's only like three games left or three or four games that on paper look like Arsenal should have a hard time with. It's this game, Citi, away and Newcastle away. And really, that's it. Arsenal I mean, and granted, you know, leagues aren't won or lost based on the big games. Every game counts, but it feels like if this young arsenal team that is going on a league charge is going to win the league. It is going to be. Winning at Anfield will be a massive, massive, massive result. I mean, a just monumental big game.


Now, I think Arsenal do have some tough games. They have Liverpool away, West Ham away, South Hampton at home, that's easy. City away, midweek, Chelsea at home, that'll be tough. Newcastle away, the toughest. Brighten at home, a fight. Notting and forest away might be a time to save their season, and then their last game of the season is wolves at home. So no cake walks, but they've been great all season.


An incredible incredible season for them. They don't have any other obligations It's just the league. These are their last eight games. This is all they've got. No Europa, no FA Cup.


They go week on week on week and try and win the league. They have every opportunity to do it. I've said it before. If they don't, it's a yack job. They just have to keep going. They can lose one game. One game, and they have to win everything else. A draw, anything. Now, Citi have to match them, but Arsenal, this is their good moment. If they wanna win the league, they've gotta win this game, and then the narrative really shifts into, oh my god, our son are gonna win a league. I know it's ridiculous and you do it every week, but it's just this just the nature of how primarily football is covered. We just do it this way.


Liverpool, of course, are there for the spoiler They should have the voices of nineteen eighty nine in their heads. Stop George Graham's team. Please make it stop. You know, famously in fever pitch. That's the game that they win. The movie came out in nineteen eighty nine. So there's a lot of funny little parallels and funny little things about that league winning team. Lee Dixon in that team famously of NBCS NBC Sports who does their games a year in the US. So big games. I'm gonna stop talking. I hope I didn't forget anything. I hope I didn't forget anyone. Feel like I went through every possible storyline. Some things probably not in the best order, but that's how we do the show. I feel really happy. Thanks everybody for the show. And that's it. That was the squeaky bum time podcast with LaRonde Corteens. We are the football wing of the chops sports channel. And presented exclusively by the premier streaming network. We record on Mondays and Thursdays So be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode. Please rate and review the show. Bye.

By Laurent Courtines

I'm here and I am ready to go. Been doing my homework and I have things to say.

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