In Episode #149 of the Squeaky Bum Time Podcast, Mike and Laurent break down Manchester City’s dominant 4-1 victory over Man United to keep pace with Liverpool in the title race. Also:
- Tottenham blast Everton 5-0 as the Blues face potential relegation for the first time in the Premier League era. Is Frank Lampard officially on the hot seat?
- Arsenal are officially in the driver’s seat for fourth place after a 3-2 win over Watford. What year is it?
- Can American Jesse Marsch keep Leeds in the Premier League?
- Liverpool survive a scare from West Ham, escape with a 1-0 win
- Querétaro–Atlas riot at Estadio Corregidora in Mexico
Follow us on Twitter (@SqueakyBum_Pod), Instagram (@SqueakyBumTimePod) and Facebook (Squeaky Bum Time Podcast) to stay up to date!
Part of the Chop Sports Media Network!
Transcript
hello and welcome to the squeaky bum
time podcast with mike and laurent it is
tuesday march 8th in this episode we
don't kill rival fans in this episode
arsenal solidify liverpool ride their
luck and spurs have a laugher which is
nice
on the other side of a laugher yeah but
first mike uh this is my day how do you
experience manchester orbies
yeah yeah yeah um i i watched this one
in passing i had these was in town so i
wasn't like super super glued to it but
um
my actually father-in-law was like is
this the manchester city versus i'm like
yeah how the [ __ ] did you know that
maybe he listens to the show hey reg um
but uh man city playing man united yeah
like oh that's the big game right i'm
like yeah so i kind of was in and out or
whatever but i watched the highlights
and like
from what i could glean right it was
like first of all we'll get into the
whole ronaldo
where was he thing where in the world's
christians
it wouldn't have made a difference it
wouldn't have but like it it speaks to a
much deeper schism and trouble
at the united
city states the city that i expected
them to be against everton a week ago
right which by the way we didn't really
talk about scary
um
they were good wait so let's let's just
be very let's just
for two seconds
man city lose to tottenham twice and
then struggle with everton and tottenham
beat you guys twice and then crush
everything he had playing badly we're
champions now that's these are the rules
of the transit property but um
uh i just thought that uh you know
united bumbly in their own way i mean
they had the goal to get right back but
like right from the jump
it was just it wasn't a matter of you
know if he was going to win it was going
to be by how much i i didn't experience
it that way i did say i did say oh city
need a goal early and they got that goal
earlier
but again classic united disaster
just just bad defending as usual
lindelof jumping out not affecting the
play and then just de bruyne being like
oh look at all this big space now
the thing that was interesting was
united did not play cristiano he's just
not there edinson cavani apparently
doesn't want to be there and doesn't
want to play he's hurt whatever there's
a lot of back room stuff going on that's
the drama but in the field the thing
that was weird was
pogba and fernandez played up top as the
two
and the wingers were alanga and sancho
so at first the first 20 minutes city
were like okay we got our goal
what the [ __ ] are you guys doing because
we'll figure it out but this is weird so
what was happening was i think city
had the instruction to
sit back because of the pace they were
afraid to get hit on the counter so
stones and laporte were probably
five yards too deep and so fernandez and
pogba were kind of in the in the ten
spaces causing problems and city were
like what the [ __ ] is going on the first
20 minutes pep's going nuts like
what
just move up what are you doing
then sort of things settle down in the
last 10 minutes of the first half
everything was fine okay
second half is really where the disaster
happens now i will say this and i said
it i think i said it on the show before
united have not played longer than a
half of good football
since ragnik came in they've had moments
they've had 20 minutes they'd have half
an hour they've had 20 minutes here they
have 20 minutes there under all a it was
always after they were losing and he
just like
come on boys go be men united that was
literally his coaching and they were
like oh all right let's do that uh but
this is now they just can't seem to
sustain the pressing that whatever they
were really pressing united figured out
the second half of this game was
pathetic
liverpool against ole level ole's for 20
minutes the last 25 minutes of the game
united gave up they only had
eight percent possession they literally
gave up
yeah so it was one of these embarrassing
things where the united pandarati which
actually that was a scene uh mika
richards laughing at keen having a
shouting match with gary neville on sky
in the little tiny room love that stuff
because these you ex-united players
always like this isn't the united way
i'm like what is this
ephemeral united way please tell me what
it is
what tell me what it is it's not kante
no he could never be the coach really
never he can never be the coach of men
united
i don't get it anyway so
city just dominate and do what they do
and i i'm low what what frustrates me is
um
we just can't really it's really hard to
find talking points for city because the
levels are so high that when they play
well you're just like well that's what
they're supposed to do
right they had all the things that
they're supposed to do like
bernardo running hard de bruyne being
incredible he scored two goals set up
the other one phil foden
[ __ ] up harry maguire just like
bodying him he bodied wamba soccer for
one of the goals the guy weighs 140
pounds he gets it like city just did all
the city stuff that if they play this
way which is the narrative is that they
always play this way which what you just
said is true they don't always play this
way this is
city at their highest levels and you're
just like well
[ __ ]
hey hey guys maybe do that more right
it's hard they can't sustain it no but i
think that i think that they first of
all they got out of jail last week
against everton
they circled this one on the calendar
and went all right like we think that
liverpool is gonna make an example out
of west ham
uh and we're gonna have to and they well
they didn't but so they go okay we need
to make an example out of a questionable
i think is a good way to put them
manchester united and so
they got up for this game like you said
foden they have
they have the pride for the shirt as in
so much as
any of these [ __ ] red teams and
anytime they take a [ __ ]
and they package it in a box they're
like oh my god isn't this the most
wonderful look at jurgen klopp and his
fist pumps in the club oh my god isn't
that so whimsical and wonderful and all
that great [ __ ] city bring
they have it they just don't get credit
for it yes well i think the pro i mean
and we can go through it all like
it doesn't have anfield
that's what's so frustrating no
well well in in a sense sort of yes they
don't have
40 years of equity that's all it is the
city fans were in good voice they did a
full stadium poznan that's how
disrespectful they were to steven united
so the pause name for those no all the
fans link arms turn around and jump up
and down so you don't even have to watch
the game anymore you don't care right
effectively we're just here so it was
like half mexican wave half poznan which
is pretty [ __ ] dope that takes a lot
of weird coordination so city fans are
so city fans are not up for friday
nights
for champions league nights this is our
favorite game because it's weird because
we're beating disrespect you've felt
from the other side of town
you're giving it back to them for
history like it's it's 10 year olds who
are now in their 30s who are just like
my whole childhood was abuse
for being a shitty city fan you're gonna
hear it today [ __ ] yeah yeah
today's the day right today's the day
we're united fans are just like yeah
we're bad at this point but for city
fans this is a big day we're still not
we're still not there we still don't
care about european nights this game
still matters a lot like it's still
really important you know it's not just
another game so let me go through the
scores and we'll get into other things
because i got excited but i'm gonna run
through the scores jesse marsh and leeds
they play really well they deserve to
win but lester and your boy mr harvey
harvey barnes gets a win they win one in
a smash and grab at home leeds looking
good i think i feel better about them
now speaking of not looking good norwich
stomped brentford tony hattrick i told
you tony was gonna score a hat trick i
told you brentford were gonna be fine
they are fine wolves lose to palace the
shine has gone off the wolves the xg
machine has left wolves wolves after
being beaten two out of the last three
they're now not a top four team they're
gonna sit where they are speaking of
sitting where they are aston villa
smashed southampton southampton have
games like this in them they were on a
six game unbeaten run they're looking
good and then they drop a four spot on
you i'm surprised it wasn't nine
coutinho ings watkins all together all
playing together first time looking good
for villa hopefully we'll see that again
newcastle continue the renaissance eddie
howe coach of the year they defeat my
beloved brighton scoring two early goals
but then brighton hang on but they don't
quite get it together but brighton did
play well then liverpool get so [ __ ]
lucky against west ham it boggles the
mind we'll talk about this game in a
minute they win one nil sadio mane gets
it done uh
there were two
gaping
chances one from four now's one from
lanzini this game should have been a
draw at a minimum arsenal win 3-2 versus
watford uh it's not as close as that
score line would suggest city 4-1 and
your beloved tottenham hotspur
smash everton and i think that uh that
performance
that puts everton in trouble and frank
lampard
they've been in trouble i think frank
lampard should feel some heat under his
ass
as listen
harry kane did harry kane things he was
deion kulasevsky was really good nominal
today really good really good really
good um but everton
being bad
was the headline in this game they were
bad okay um
uncoordinated
unmotivated and then just holes at the
back like swiss cheese and
um
you saw it on the i think the third goal
where kane breaks free and you're like
who the [ __ ] idea was that like like
hey hey
hey
good
good good good good good pass from
doherty great pass from doherty how do
you just like i understand if like sonny
comes off the left and and and kane does
that thing where he suckers you in but
kane's the guy making the run how do you
lose him so it was it we'll we'll go
deeper into everything later in the show
but uh i i have one person worried about
michael keane
who is the worst defender
in the [ __ ] league that he can play
at everton at this point is a joke it's
laughable he literally makes a mistake
that leads to a goal every game you know
what he is he's a [ __ ] harry maguire and
harry maguire's [ __ ] no no no he's worse
than he's gotten worse he was a [ __ ]
harry maguire a month and a half ago now
he's something far far worse i mean
they have a
naughty i'm not gonna disrespect the
championship there's better teams teams
have better defense in the championship
than ever yeah
yeah no no no and if i ever see jordan
pickford play for england again then
southgate he was bad so the first okay
so so 15. we're into spurs now all right
[ __ ] it 15 minutes in it's two nil the
first one was an own goal from michael
keane that on first touch i thought kane
got it i was like wow awesome that was
michael keane being king rocket ship in
the top corner after
he loses kane on the near post and then
a ball comes in that he couldn't
possibly get to
but he does so one note right off the
jump and you're like oh boy this could
get okay buckle up guys um and then the
second goal again it's it's suns away
there's just there's just
patches and by patching i mean 30 to 40
yards of just naked green and sunny
the line is
not in line so all these things guys are
playing guys offside and there's someone
not offside you're like no he's fine
what are you and so sonny's away
uh or actually no i'm sorry it was
kulaski who again uh his first of two
assists on the day he was unbelievable
he was really good um
and then sun's gone and it's a ball that
pickford should stop
so
you know and then i i already talked
about the third one with kane where he
like you how do you again i understand
if you lose son because he's coming off
the wing or whatever harry kane
literally ran right through the middle
of the goddamn field
like literally three yards in a cloud of
dust and then the whole secondary was
like no just kidding
the other thing i noticed and this is
never gonna give credit they'll never
give credit to this and they don't
because narrative is too hard to deal
with all those goals like built out from
the back all of them as those
now it's built out from the back with a
long ball into kane so they'll play
get it back to laurie's and then he'll
hoof it
to kane with the runners running off him
so it was really good but mike i mean it
looked like leeds out there that's how
bad the defense had ever hey i mean
aggregate in the last two games uh spurs
are nine nil right against leeds and
everton who may i remind you and maybe
this will take us into the relegation
conversation 16 and 17
and not looking good
right so leads you mentioned i think
that they might have
they might they had to part ways would
be all said i think they might have at
the right time there's still time to
pull out of this
they should have beat leicester for sure
yes but
i'm worried for them i think that
they're in a better spot than everton
despite the fact that everton has two
games still in hand
but i don't know i don't know
yeah the relegation fight is
it's so weird how it's morphed right and
that and and we always say one or two
wins can change everything and brentford
getting that win it's like
right like brentford's okay for now
for now let me let's let's go through
that that top list though let's just
make sure we have everything clear and
set the stage yeah what i kept thinking
about so liverpool gets their win one
nil at home versus uh west ham west ham
were really good they should be proud of
themselves they did not have declan rice
and they
really should have got something out of
that game liverpool know it they cheered
like it was a big win and then i go to
the city game i'm not going to go
through it again but all i kept thinking
in the back half of the game is pour it
on goal difference is going to matter
goal difference absolutely and again
that's why i thought they would put
seven past everton last week but they
they're going to
when they feel apathy and this is what i
saw out of everton today yeah when they
sense apathy they are sharks with blood
in the water and they're just going to
go and go and go you know why
pep has
no chill he is ruthless
you will show he will shove your heart
through your ass and then show it to
your mother and it's to be bad there's
going to be some teams that yeah someone
is going to hurt feelings someone is
going to catch a body from city really
yeah yeah yeah we're talking like six or
seven yeah grealish played everybody
played really well it was a really good
performance by city grillish was good
yeah and uh could be burnley
burnley yeah it could be burnley uh so
so we've got that in place so that we're
still six points
liverpool with the game in hand still
on the charge to that big game uh april
10th when the world will collide the
super clasico the new the good versus
evil the biggest game in the world they
have taken the mantle from bar from
ronaldo's uh real and messi's barsa i
think city liverpool is now the biggest
game in the world if you can if you can
find a better game let me know but that
is now
the game in the world so if you're new
to this game and you're just following
us along and you want to find and see
the highest level football you can watch
mark your calendar april 10th
32 days to come up with like a good
name for this darby yeah yeah
uh we should probably talk about the
chelsea
the chelsea burnley game first half
burnley were really good they were
hanging in there uh and then chelsea was
like you're burnley [ __ ] off and they
just stomped them uh i don't think uh
lukaki will ever play again i think that
i think that um i think he's had enough
uh i didn't see much from burnley this
was kind of disappointing i thought the
second half was laughable uh they didn't
really get close
haveritz was good we've been talking
about haveritz a little bit he's really
kind to us on the season yeah i think
that front three the havarts pulisic
mount group
that's a good group they make sense
together because they're all the same so
they can all move around together
exactly and that's when pulisic is at
his best right we see him
basically holding court for the u.s
men's national team where he is not just
the centerpiece but he's able to say i'm
going to come over here not unlike how
kane always attracts eyeballs from the
opposing defense so if he has that free
that creative freedom in the front you
know attacking midfield then
you begin to have trouble with him
because it's effectively like you have
three mason mounts or three the other
piece about those three they're all the
same age there's got to be like cultural
connection you got to think about these
things haverts holistic mount all the
same age you know the english speaker
pool of sick haven't been in germany
there's some connection there that i
think is like i think the other
underrated piece is getting
maybe they haven't gotten chillwell back
but reese james makes a difference he
scored their opening goal and then it
sort of just poured in but the less said
about chelsea the better uh they're
gonna they're locked on to their spot
they do have to have a little bit of
worry if they wobble will arsenal catch
them can they fall in they're not gonna
they're not gonna fall out of that spot
so we talked about it on uh on thursday
with our pal olly carpenter uh lytics
who uh again thank you ali for coming on
the show it was great chatting with him
um
we got into this he was excited because
he was like oh we get to talk about the
actual on-field stuff too it's not just
the roman abramovic [ __ ] which he was so
enlightening to kind of spell that out
but i asked him and i was saying you
know well how do you pre you know
perceive this to maybe affect the
on-field results and he even said like
luton town gave them problems because
some of that stuff was happening like as
the lineup came out right so
uh so they were really had their heads
turned and i thought that burnley would
give them a fight and frankly they did
they did
um
uh you know i mean look i i i was coming
fresh off of the burnley experience i
was like hey this may not be so fun for
you right now um
and i kind of walk through uh what
effectively the next
month or so looks like for chelsea and
um we really
he was i mean he was he sounded like you
a little bit in the sense that he was
like uh well i don't know i mean you
know it's like always sort of the
pensive way am i gonna we're gonna [ __ ]
this up but there were points that
that's football that's how you yes but
there were points that like you got
you've got to take not just burnley they
play norwich next
um you know they they've
they will have a couple of other cup
games to probably turn their head a
little bit but at the same time like
they'll be okay and these are games that
they likely should win and then at the
tail end of the season it does the the
difficulty does ramp up significantly
they've got west ham they've got well
everton's going to be a laugher for them
i suppose but wolves uh games where you
go and many united games where you go
you could drop these points 100 percent
so um
so yeah i mean it's going to be
something where i don't think they're in
trouble for the third spot um they're
too good they're so much better than the
other teams
that top three is so much better like no
you wouldn't
would you
if if arsenal and chelsea had to play
ten times how many times would chelsea
beat them seven oh sorry with chelsea
yeah seven yes yes exactly the number
right exactly i said three for arsenal
so yeah right right no not even chelsea
would win seven draw one and lose two
um
yeah i mean i think the key thing with
chelsea is their problems are fluidity
and scoring and i think it's more of a
midfield problem like their defense is
in line with cities and liverpool's
their problem is is their scoring is not
they can't score with them yeah right
yeah like they they're if the xg's are
in the 20s for all those three and i
when i when you play chelsea and you see
it you could see it in the i thought the
the the carabao cup final was really
indicative this is a really good team it
can shut down liverpool which is the
highest scoring team in the world period
uh it's not you know they they're
like
liverpool's front four now
is it has depth right now it's it's
monet it's salah
it's diaz yeah and then their sixth guy
is auriji who oh by the way you need a
goal late he just somehow finds a way to
do it at least once a season right so so
they're really really good and and
chelsea shut them down and they could
have won that carabao cup very very
funny oh sure but not but i think the
larger point is they are who we thought
they were right like the top two of the
top two chelsea still
um look if they wobbled against burnley
okay yeah sure and then arsenal are
three points off the pace with a game in
hand maybe maybe conceivable without
question and then you know chelsea's the
third team yeah and now arsenal are
staking their claim they are there the
proverbial driver's seat and i cannot
believe that on march 8th we're sitting
here saying this um
there is a long way to go but look at it
this way
look at the the tone in which we are
considering united and by the way a
massive massive game coming up next
weekend that will detail on thursday
between spurs and united at old trafford
um
which could
signal
who the real challenger for arsenal is
and i don't mean to disrespect west ham
but [ __ ] you for a minute um
arsenal are
the
kings in the castle who need to be
actively dethroned
holy [ __ ] where are we what year is it
right well i think i think the key the
key thing with arsenal is and i've been
talking about it all season they're the
younger team they've been playing the
youngest lineups all season they have
the growth going in they have a set
lineup all of a sudden there is a set
group that plays
they don't have any depth like if they
lost lacazette i think they'd be in
trouble if they lost ben white i think
they'd be in trouble if they lost
gabrielle i think they'd be in trouble
uh you know there's not a lot of depth
in the group
um but
our they don't have their monday they're
now once a week they got no extra games
they're out of the fa cup they're at a
league cup they got no europe they're
just
playing the games and so they're really
in the driver's seat they have
there's almost there's not even arsenal
fan tv things anymore because you know
half of them are in jail or murdered or
stalked their wives and the other ones
are protesting palestine and have their
own channels the whole thing is now very
narrow and very like
arsenal
are not banter club anymore they're just
like we're young
we have nothing to lose
they can lose the games you'd expect
them to lose and still finish in the top
four so here's here's where i want to go
on arsenal okay
this is going to dovetail into our
conversation about manchester united
because
they
have had good performances
but largely
who have they beaten over the last two
months they don't have to beat anybody
you don't no in fact and and this is my
main gripe about tottenham hotspur
probably ever
um that you just don't pick up the free
points yeah
it's a it's a college basketball team
that just can't hit the free throws and
they act like they're surprised when
they lose to a 14 seed in march their
best win is wolves
exactly they beat a completely hapless
brentford
they drew scoreless against burnley uh
the leg the the yeah but that was the
that was when that was the burnley
turnaround point so that sure that that
nail nail is not as bad as it uses they
they played that they pretty tough but
they couldn't get that done
beat the [ __ ] out of norwich beat the
[ __ ] out of weeds
a good win against west ham we're going
all the way back to december 15th now
that was a good one yes everton they
beat southampton which is a good win but
okay
what are my what am i mentioning here
aside from city
not a lot of brand names no where are
they you ask i don't know postponed
games at the bridge and at tottenham
await you
yeah yeah for sure liverpool is coming
to your house in a week
right you've got leicester [ __ ] kick
their ass palace who are really good
they got a tough run a lot of games huge
so as we talked about
you know april 10th in the context of
the title race it is extremely likely
that we will have a clear-cut um
picture of the top four at that point
and maybe not you know what they have a
really tough run a really tough run
listen
this schedule that you're looking at by
the way march 13th at holmen against
leicester city march 16th at home
against liverpool march 19th awaited
villa april 4th away to palace april 9th
at home brighton
five games in a row all difficult
opponents does not include
playing it away to chelsea and playing a
way to tottenham your two biggest rivals
who are in and around the title uh the
top four race with you and now let's
keep in mind that tottenham game
could be the i don't know when it's
gonna be scheduled yet it hasn't been
but it could be the inflection point for
who has the inside race in the last call
it month of the season for the fourth
spot in champions league so
i mean
but they did what they were supposed to
do
oh no absolutely and full marks to them
for going out and getting those points
yeah but
the the the rubber is going to meet the
road and we'll find out who arsenal
really are we've been kissing their ass
for about a month and a half and i'm not
enjoying it
before before before we give before we
go
when
ollie got fired from united we looked at
the schedule and literally marked the
city game as the game yeah i think you
and i both were like they could get
every single point here
how did the
there were 48 points on offer and united
got the [ __ ] connecticut compromise
of 30 points
we did mix it into this i made it 16
games 16 games yeah so that's almost
half the schedule and it's about 45 it's
about three fifths um
[Laughter]
it's about it's about 40
of the schedule
and they got 60 of the points from that
stretch yeah that's not good yeah they
it needed to be
it needed to be
38
yeah because they got too many draws
only two losses uh but they were not
name-brand losses like they they're
gonna look at their season when they
miss the top four by four points and be
like we dropped four points to nor to
watford and they're going yeah
yeah and now lucky for them
lucky for them that not one not two not
three but four teams around them have
all [ __ ] the bet almost equally with the
exception of arsenal who [ __ ] them at
early on and have surged now right um so
the thing is the thing is with united to
me is just like
there's no
there there
there's nothing to there's nothing for
them to hang their head on like there's
nothing that says oh there's this young
player who's gonna pick them up there's
no there's no like oh but they're
playing well they're just not getting
results there's nothing there well they
put all their eggs in a 37 year old
basket
yeah and and and kinda in a way doesn't
want to be there they're gonna play you
guys on sunday on saturday and then
liverpool away by the way they could get
destroyed by liverpool
badly
that could get really autographed at
anfield that's going to be a mauling
that could get graphic oh dear and and
then they have chelsea towards the end
that's gonna go real they they have a
tough run by the way crystal palace is
just there to [ __ ] everyone's season up
i still they really are they're sitting
in the top half of the table right now
you know [ __ ] good
i mean there's five teams on three point
four teams on 33 points but like i mean
it's it's a good they're the those those
middle teams like you don't want to [ __ ]
with villa you can it's funny because
like there's
there's nothing at stake between
brighton and southampton that spans 9th
or 13th but i would argue they're having
the most fun this season
who's southampton or brighton i don't
know anybody in that stretch they're
like hey man we're not going down let's
just [ __ ] people up oh yeah
oh the fun group the [ __ ] what do we
have to lose oh nothing oh okay and by
the way uh newcastle just joined that
party they're now in the fun party uh
their their invite got lost in the mail
but they know the address yeah i guess
you're talking about that five point gap
between 14 and 13. that 13 to 8 spot
that's a fun place to be oh no sorry 14
to nine that whole southampton ballast
yeah yeah villa lester and so lester
that's the fun group those are the
that's the fun bunch lester
if you put it in high school party terms
lester the older brother that bought the
booze that's just like high end
hates being there yeah because he's got
an ankle bracelet on on a house arrest
and he can't go anywhere uh aston villa
are like the virgins who are like just
trying to make out with the chick for
the first i feel like they're the chiefs
it's kind of a got a hockey team vibe
about that group like the charlestown
chiefs yeah yeah okay okay okay
um
see i get that vibe well i get all right
so to go back to the to the metaphor
right
uh crystal palace are like the kid who
has like the drugs his older sister gave
him and he's like yo he's a crystal
palace are burners yeah but they're like
hey i haven't tried these yet you guys
want to [ __ ] around them and see what
happens
they're like
mclovin
yeah southampton brought a gun to the
party for no reason and ended up
shooting themselves in the foot yeah
yeah they get they get weird they're the
guys who like tell you weird stories
about hurting animals you're like that's
[ __ ] weird dude yeah man like what do
you mean stop doing that stop doing that
why do you have [ __ ] snuff films
[Laughter]
right because they get blown out once in
a while you're like whoa that was
[ __ ] intense why did you guys just
give up nine goals
wolves has the car has their parents car
but they drive drunk and crash it
um and that's that's basically the all
the kids at the party right like it's
about villains
oh villains like the virgin they're like
hey hey hey can i grab some boob tonight
like that's they're like you know i
don't know that that i think that gerard
being super intense thing there's
something there with like he's like the
the guy who's just like drinking for the
first time i guess a virgin i guess
that's what i mean yeah they're michael
in superman not not johnny hill right
um
yeah so that mid-table group i like that
group i don't know where brighton fits
in they're kind of over it they're like
fifth year senior like yeah man i know i
got left back again again yeah yeah i
kind of like them anyway we haven't got
the foreign exchange student who's not
in there we haven't found that character
uh in the show maybe that's wolves
that's newcastle no but the new owner
[Laughter]
yeah but they're not there yet they're
not there yet yeah i do like i do like
where they are
um so that group is there and then
there's that relegation battle that we
keep talking about uh i do like the
jessie mars thing that has gone well
that's exciting um they seem to be
playing well
wait hold on let's yeah i leads don't
just get a pass because they have jesse
marsh now and we want them to we want
them to do well because we want him to
do well if jesse marsh gets relegated
with leeds
that he stays with them
okay
regardless
that speaks poorly of american soccer on
the global stage
it just does i don't like it it's a fact
right
they'll go oh that stupid yank you
brought us down right and i'm not saying
it's even fair or true here's what the
facts are right they have 27 games
played they have 23 points but in this
context of this battle they lose the
tiebreaker to literally every team other
than norwich they have a minus 32 goal
difference that's not gonna get
dramatically better if they can get it
to minus 30 by the end of the season
that means they'll probably stay up
because they'll probably have enough
points but
if that's if it comes down to the
tiebreaker between frankly bradford
leeds everton and burnley they are
not in the driver's seat on that front
so that's the thing that scares me about
them i want i i want them to do well i
want marshmallows to
die
what the [ __ ] happened to that yeah he's
just sitting there at every game he
looks perfectly [ __ ] healthy to me
i'm kidding i don't know what that i'm
talking about but let's see they got
they've got villa norwich wolves
southampton watford they still have
people in their
group to play like they've got to beat
[ __ ] norwich they've got to beat
watford that's two wins right there uh
and then hope that they can the body you
were talking about is city
it's coming up april 30th i'm gonna get
killed
right that's what i'm saying there are
games where they're gonna lose by a
comfortable margin and that 32 is only
going to get worse so i almost
i almost at this point you don't care
about goal difference you're trying to
you know scratch out draws but if if if
you have like an everton did today where
it's like three nil don't stop don't
don't play defensive don't be like oh we
can't give up two more goals who gives
you no [ __ ] it just go get it yeah well
that's how they have been playing i do
think like like i said like the
the james time at striker is just he
just can't finish he's just like he gets
into position and he just shoots wide
yeah it's brutal uh they just can't seem
to get out of their own way um where do
you want to go here we've got we've got
our top four we've done the relegation
battle we've got games on on thursday
that we won't be able to talk about
that'll have happened because they're
happening it's a lot of makeup games
those makeup games are like norwich
chelsea
those are not i i i wouldn't talk about
them if we had a show on thursday
morning um
wolves in watford leeds in aston villa
southampton newcastle
and
you got some of our our party boys in
there but i don't yeah but they're not
playing each other which is the problem
yeah right although
newcastle southampton will be good
but i think yeah that's the one
and i'm curious to see what leads can
aston villa is a good test for leads
because of who they who they might
become because villa seems to be putting
all the pieces together they are very
formidable especially from an attacking
sense and leads are still
we don't really know what marsha's going
to be able to do with that so this is a
game where we don't know what points are
on offer and we don't know if they'll
get them we know one thing they do not
[ __ ] do that stupid man marking
[ __ ] right so they immediately
didn't give up they should have beat
lester and they basically
gave up a goal because of a mistake and
it was less than their normal mistakes
because they've been giving up threes
but they only gave up one which was nice
for them
uh i think the champions league comes
back next tomorrow today today
today
yeah you play so these are games where
you're like
there's um liverpool at home up to nil
against enter
what do we think is gonna happen there
uh man city at home up
five nothing speaking of bodies there
might be one on the ground and uh and
nietzsche had on wednesday
uh and then psg madrid is the really
interesting one on wednesday and i
should say i missed byron bayern versus
rb salzburg one one so we've got one
good game each uh each day uh bayern in
salzburg going back to the allianz tied
at one obviously away goals don't matter
so it's a square square game going into
it um
i'm hopeful that salzburg can win i
don't really have a good reason for that
um
that would be amazing it's nice it'll be
good it'll be a great story uh i do
think the the game next week are really
like
season defining games
for
united and atletico that's next week
season defining juve villarreal oh yeah
for those teams um for for
it it will define uv's season if they
lose it may not define villarreal season
if no no no they're fine they'll be
they'll be over the moon but for you
that united win it is a statement of
intent for them right i feel like
atletico
vs men united is like that's a cage mack
that's like loser leaves town
yeah yeah right like rang nick's season
is a complete catastrophe and simeone if
he loses loses his job and goes to
united why why does it why is it why
isn't simeone to united an option
because they live through mourinho
already
and they don't yeah but at least he has
a project he has a he has a way of
playing he has a he has a cholismo
i think he's a more charismatic jose
more they can't be more charismatic to
jose mourinho well no no jose mourinho
pretends he's charismatic he's just a
[ __ ] bond villain right
like diego simeone creates is a bond
villain
well yeah but he creates havoc
and
it's it's exciting boring football
i think yeah i don't i don't i don't i
don't i don't think that he the other
thing i would say is that he has
lived in la liga for so long
that he was throwing punches at peak
real and peak barsa
and now that he's where he is like they
won the league last season i know i know
what i'm saying though is like
i think
he would struggle with the move to the
premier league because he has been
swimming he's swam with sharks for years
yeah but he plays premier league
football
already
yeah he plays burnley premier league
football though like
like i what i'm saying is i in the age
of we talked about it earlier yeah is it
over yeah
yeah yeah there's so many attacking
teams they're gonna get god they'll
they'll smoke a couple of teams on the
counter absolutely because they're a
very very very good burnley but
i don't a i don't know that i want that
back in the league in in bigger numbers
especially in a quad bike united and
additionally i don't know
how many players would throw a hissy fit
on united so you think they're you think
they're they're discombobulated now
simeone comes in he's got the gravitas
it's it's akin to gerard walking in the
villa room like i'm [ __ ] diego
simeone i can show you you know it's
funny and it would never happen
united need gerard to be their manager
oh
wow
they need that if there was a i did too
they if
like a young
really into it
one in scotland he's basically [ __ ]
he's basically alex ferguson he went to
scotland in one so it's it's like
ultimate reality right like if he could
be if he could be the united manager
he's actually what they need right like
like arteta those types those from the
club to the you know what i mean like
yeah really into it really intense
really cares won't take [ __ ] from the
fans
in charge just like i'm here this is
happening i'm young i get this right
like
i don't think united for all those
pundits that they have everywhere
none of them are good managers like
sir alex didn't create good managers you
have to have
it like maybe it was gonna be giggs and
he ended up i think he's in jail i think
he he did some briefings yeah he was
being groomed and i think he was maybe
and then he was grooming other people
yeah
i don't know i don't even know what
happened i don't either i don't want to
i don't want to know either yeah i mean
we we talked before the show whether we
should talk about the violence in mexico
and it's so bad that we can't talk wait
well listen we like to keep the show
light and and have a good time with it
but like like this there's a war and
then there's like 18 people died this is
just getting tested like that's like a
stadium in mexico
think about think about this right like
there's such
a culture
for this that you
[Music]
yeah and you go to a football match and
you
aren't intending to
inflict bodily harm on somebody i'm not
going to say that i haven't felt that
way at rangers islanders games i'm not
going to say that i haven't felt that
way yankees red sox we just don't have
it in this country it's just not a con
no what we have is rules and [ __ ]
police is what we have
okay so that's one but two we don't
organize it out of the stadium but
that's exactly it right like
like
in so much as like it's so old american
like 80s okay man you want to step
outside it's like no no we're all gonna
step outside and then we're going to
just do it inside too right yeah it's
really bad
and it's like it's 18 people if you
don't know it's atlas versus
the name of the team but i picked it up
late on sunday or saturday and i was
like this is the worst thing i've ever
it's the worst i've seen it's like
taking the bomb it's like taking river
versus boca and then just
not having police yeah right and and and
that's kind of where i'd like to draw
the attention like
the acts of these people
is grotesque to the sense that i would
recommend you don't watch it and read as
little about it as possible it's bad it
is
horrifying right it's it's
sorry
in terms of
premier league people if you know
it's not
it's not hillsboro
in terms of the brutality of those
people dying it's more like um
it's more like heisel hazel where people
got crushed into uva fans and it was
more fighting it's just bad it's like
yeah and and there's but but it's not
even like a stadium disaster it's just
fighting it's a humanity disaster which
i for me
is it's worse again like you said the
the the sheer numbers aren't worse and i
and i it's not a dick measuring contest
but
in the manner in which this was carried
out
this is
this is homicides
yes this is what
homicides yes
and i just want to stress that that is
the most
jarring idea
yeah for
fans of any club any sport any team yeah
to have to have listen there's fights go
to the game
people dead you get punched in the face
and that's fine i get it whatever
there wasn't okay there wasn't even so
much as like
usually in to put it into context in the
us
specifically in the nfl right you see
um a fat guy start yelling [ __ ] at a guy
with another team's jersey and they get
into it from a few rows away the guy
climbs up a few rows punches them in the
face what does everybody else do right
now they take out their cell phones and
they and they record it whatever
well when they they get involved or
whatever but there's always 15 different
camera angles of it right this
everybody just it was like literally
somebody hit somebody it was
magnifying
the the order in which
i can't stress enough how horrible this
all was because it was literally and
everyone simultaneously looked at it as
an invitation to cause
significant bodily harm to people and
where you find like
i've been in scraps of whatever i'm not
the i'm not oh cool cool mike you're
[ __ ] going to fight [ __ ] no no but
like the point is like
at some level
they're like
when you get into that primal state
all sense leaves your body but at some
point it does have to return and that's
the thing that is just it it makes my
stomach turn is that got to be a level
of drunkness
beyond comprehension yeah but okay sure
but even still at some point
like the idea of mercy to whoever was
being beaten trampled dragged whatever
yeah it never
ever occurred the worst footage is is
literally people
stripped naked and then getting stomped
while lifeless
it's just jarring so that's bad for
mexico uh they're
talking about the whole league
did they yes oh good that's what should
happen i i agree completely like now
it's just like oh mls and league of mex
should mix together no they shouldn't no
they [ __ ] shouldn't
i've gone to i went to an orlando city
game a couple months ago and it's
extremely and this is how mls um uh
positions itself right or wrong it's
extremely family-friendly bring your
kids have a good time this and that are
you out of your [ __ ] minds it's
literally like a bizarro planet
facing your wholesome lovely
you know we're not really we're we're
not re american soccer fans are not
ready god damn idea
if you took the three biggest rivalries
in any sport in the us
and you melded them into one rivalry and
you played twice a year once at my house
and once at yours and then
you got everybody liquored on tequila
and sent them into a rage against each
other i think i think that
it could have got
i think yankees red sox in certain eras
in the stands 70s pretty bad in the 70s
and in the no i think american sports we
had it we had a heavy drinking and
fighting at ball games i mean bruins in
the stands against the rangers and the
rangers i mean and the malice at the
palace we had we had that stuff but we
made sure because of capitalism
just like the chinese are like hey
russia can you ixnay on the ukraine say
because we got this road we're trying to
build and you guys are [ __ ] whole
thing up will support you will you stop
killing these [ __ ] ukrainians this is
a bad idea it's bad for business don't
do this anyway uh so everybody doesn't
want that's why like capitalism is the
best because it's just like whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa can i not kill the
people don't step on our prophets please
step over there
take it easy mind the green arrow
it's all good to abuse people and
workers and not break unions that's fine
but with when the war is with white
people just not with the white people no
wars with europe just please don't do
this these are not people we want to get
involved in so we went to mexico we got
the war the premier league is not a war
it is not a problem i worry attrition
i do hate liverpool fans but i don't
want to fight them and i like to talk
about their teams
i would like to fight them but at some
[ __ ] point after we punched each
other in the face a few times i'd be
like all right that's enough of that i
got it out of my system i wouldn't stomp
on their [ __ ] heads i wouldn't drag
their lifeless bodies down or i would
hope vice versa right
i know some people who i [ __ ] hate
who have liverpool fan
stickers tattoos whatever in fact i saw
one of the people driving down my street
with an anfield road license plate on
the front and a
ynwa [ __ ] decal on the back and i
went i hope a pole falls through that
guy's ceiling of his [ __ ] car right
now in orlando
that's a transient city
but i didn't actually mean the part
about the poll would it have been funny
yeah a little bit but i don't want these
people to actually
die
to exist
i want them to be out of my i don't i
prefer not to look at them i think they
bring down the property value but i
would rather that lanzini goal go in
than any of them die honestly
yeah right right
what are you doing
god damn argentinian we have gone off
the rails on the episode that's what's
good about this show sometime things go
nutty we talked about all the games we
talked about games that are coming we
talked about the champions league we
talked about violence in mexico we
talked anti-war we are ready for
anything bright things in the comments
i'm going to end the show that was the
squeaky bump time podcast with mike
salado and laura cortese we are the
football wing of the chop sports network
but we are not the attack wing of the
chop sports network we record on
tuesdays and fridays so be sure to
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we might invade your country
if there are chinese troops oh my god
