In Episode #123 of the Squeaky Bum Time Podcast we celebrate Laurent’s birthday by making a handful of World War II German jokes that will probably upset you if you have no joy in your life. Also:
- Chelsea finally regress to the mean in a 3-2 loss to West Ham we sort of have been waiting for, but the Hammers take the points and stay in a Champions League spot!
- Ralf Rangnick’s impressive Manchester United debut ends with a 1-0 victory over Crystal Palace. With a seemingly-competent coach, are they the favorite for fourth place?
- Liverpool do what champions do: find a way to win, even when they’re not at their best. Divock Origi snatches the points late to break Wolves’ hearts at the Molineux
- Tottenham win 3-0 v Norwich City, and somehow it was still ugly. But there are signs that the ship is turning around.
- Manchester City ho-hum completely dismantle Watford
- Newcastle United get off the schneid versus Burnley in a 1-0 victory
- Steven Gerrard’s Aston Villa, play like Lions and get all 3 points versus Rodgers Leicester City 2-1
Follow us on Twitter (@SqueakyBum_Pod), Instagram (@SqueakyBumTimePod) and Facebook (Squeaky Bum Time Podcast) to stay up to date!
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Transcript
hello and welcome to the squeaky bum
time podcast with mike and laurent it is
tuesday december 7th pearl harbor's
being bombed west ham show us who
chelsea really are liverpool are lucky
again from origi again
but before we run to the scores
mike
talk to us about the germans was it over
was it over when pearl harbor was bombed
by the german germans just let him go
it was it's becoming a bit of a crystal
knock speaking of uh world war ii in uh
in the premier league right you've got
teams getting smashed by glass and yes
this is ruined and uh wow that's yeah
that's all over the us i guess but um
you know two cool kwop now ragnik like
there's i mean hassan hoodle right
there's uh he's german adjacent he was
part of the church
listen
he's got nazi blood in him okay let's be
clear about something here all right he
is a big tall dude
here's the thing here's why we're
talking about germans it's because it is
laurent's
25th birthday today or yesterday
technically uh and so in celebration
show everybody's birthday everybody's
favorite
psychopathic
self-loathing football fan who loves if
you listen to the show loves talking
about world war ii references in germans
as much as he loves his own family
uh we decided to open the show with some
pearl harbor and crystal knock jokes
in honor of my friend laurent so happy
birthday to you buddy thank you very
much
thank you thank you thank you thank you
i was calcified at 38 when you met me
and i'm definitely calcified now but
first i'm going through the scores let's
do the roundup first
here i go
west ham three
chelsea two wow e wow west ham we're
good they're still fighting chelsea away
a bogaboo team for them west ham can be
tell the world that they're kings of
london chelsea slipping slipping their
xg gold is slipping away as mendy falls
through i love keep going through and
we'll come back to this game
okay newcastle get off the schneid were
they on the schneid they were on the
schneid and they're off to schneid they
get a goal because a goalkeeper [ __ ]
up and the ball went off his head and he
went too far burnley lose yeah i'm not
sure that really counts as getting off
the schneid if it if it's against
burnley but they're on mexico they ask
you how many that's three of them and uh
brighton draw again for the eighth time
in 11 matches oh we're gonna come back
to this one 1-1 with burnley with
brighton against southampton my friend
neil mopey sticks it in again to get the
draw late uh well let's watch out for
the windex
liverpool oh god with fricken
aurigi
pull it out of their ass again mill won
to liverpool
1-3 watford versus manchester city this
was not even that close are you ready
for the xg 0.7 for watford 3.7
for manchester city that was a big ugly
goal
our friend mr patrick bamford returns
off the bench 95th minute knees it in
against brentford brentford looked like
they were going to get a win in ellen
road and they can't do it oh boy
tottenham have a nice
and easy win at home against norford
against norwich city quietly quietly in
fifth place because the league is so
weird then we talk about our new german
friend in manchester united in old
trafford uh we were worried for united
against palace the thing about this game
yes they win one nil on fred they were
in control something we cannot say about
united ever never ever villa it is the
master it is the pupil taking over the
master
uh aston villa behind gerard win two one
at home against lester lester are in
[ __ ] trouble there were some
disallowed goals here that i have to
talk about and then today rafa de
benitez gets himself off the schneid
there's more schneids than i'd like to
schneider about beating arsenal arsenal
falling back to earth just like you said
a bit of a
paper tiger a bit of a youthful team but
first we've gotta go back
to east london and the london stadium
west ham
three
chelsea
two
and mike take it away really a big back
and forth game uh a good one uh really a
good one but i i just
we've talked about chelsea a lot this
year and we've given them their due uh
but we've also been fair about it and
said look these guys are not gonna be
there at the end of the year and and let
me be clear by be there i mean be
looking
in the eyes of leicester excuse me of
liverpool and of manchester city they're
not as good that's just not where they
belong
right on and on a day they can beat
anybody they proved in the champions
league last year but there's there's
just something about a 38 game schedule
that they just
i called them flat track bullies i
called them a bunch of things where
they're just
this is not meant as an insult what it
means is they're not
one of the most dominant teams in the
world right now
yeah that's what we're talking about
yeah they're okay they're up there
they're just not as good as liverpool
and and city i think on their day
they're as good if not better as any
team in the world consistently they are
not right they don't have their day
champions
i i read something uh it's it's an old
trope and it's true
um it was about michigan who by the way
big ten champions
um i
read something where it was basically
champions win
on their best days and champions find
ways to win when they're not their best
days when they're off this was clearly a
game where chelsea had 64 possession but
they just and they had they scored twice
right they got a yeah this is the game
that they have
lost i think the big thing is
chelsea were on track to be one of the
greatest defenses of all time that might
be a little bit out of their range now
and we're seeing the last three matches
in the league
um they've given up here we go now
let me get this right
one
one no no clean sheets in their last
three so where they were not giving up
anything they're starting to give up
goals and i will tell you that the
reason for that is no n'golo kante this
team is at its greatest and at its most
indestructible when kante is in there
it's not just the defense
it's everything it's defense to attack
it's passes it's running with the ball
the drop off from
kante to reuben lost to loftus-cheek is
about the difference between their
height which is like six two to five
four it's not the same like
all the pieces are the same and then the
other piece is marcus alonso from
chillwell is also a drop-off this team
has depth we've been launching a streaky
player though very streaky well he's
just not he just doesn't have
he's not as live and lively and getting
in the box so it they're just not as
good they have good players they have a
lot of depth but
when they cannot replace kante kante is
the irreplaceable object let's look into
that a little bit more let's talk about
it manchester united and and this is a
spoiler alert because their six won the
game for them but we've talked all year
long about how all they needed to do was
buy a six and i mean like a world-class
six yeah a declan rice
yeah west dam has
chelsea has conte you you know over the
years you've had that that fernandinho
role now you've got rodri in that role
um
roger's been walking incredible
why is it that that
let me ask let me preface it with a
question
is the number six is the defensive
midfielder the most underrated
role on the club by the clubs themselves
what i mean is
they just they can't help themselves
these big teams they want to get another
attacking winger or a fullback
or a big meaty center back right it's
not it's not sexy it's not it's just
doesn't sell shirts
yeah it's um
it's offensive lineman it's
you know i mean i think people
understand that now but the punditry and
coverage within
mainstream sport coverage let's say
you're you know gary neville
carriger
and whatever or actually those guys are
pretty knowledgeable but i'd say that
they talk about it they talk about it in
a little bit of context and they do a
decent job of it but you know you're
you're you're talk sport who we go after
a lot especially now that we're we're
growing in the uk hello all right um uh
yeah like german jokes to start yeah
yeah they love that they love that
they're in with those jokes um
it's just difficult to for the layperson
to see the play that happens
three phases before that got you up the
pitch right it might be there's an
attack that happens the guy does an
interception maybe passes it back to his
defenseman they'd go it out to the wing
it's at the number 10 and they're off
right it's not clear same reason rodri
is not really appreciated it's it's one
of these roles that you've got to watch
the team on a regular basis to know the
effect that the guy has so and it's not
sexy to say oh chelsea are slipping
because kante's not playing and then
they go they're good a billion dollars
they should have depth yes but the
difference between kante and everyone
else is massive right okay and i was
going to touch on that too yes i'm not
arguing that and there is no argument
for it
but if if you were to get another a
replacement level guy who by the way
ruben left his cheek in that role is not
replacement level he's below average
yeah this is not a knock on him this is
to say that anybody west ham brings in
behind declan rice is going to be
significantly below average okay scott
mctominay
not average right like so
so that's the thing where
it's not so much that you need to try
and find
the next kante it's not that you need to
roll out too deep in n'golo kante's it's
that you just have to have a guy who's
not going to lose a game for you in that
role right because as we said a he's
getting up there b he's sort of been
made of glass over the years well he's
just he just takes two things he's too
little he gets the [ __ ] kicked out yeah
no of course but that goes on yeah but
the thing is is that without when you
don't have kante
georginio gets exposed you can ask any
chelsea fan they're just like he's
incredible he ticks the ball over but he
lost them that united game because who
would have been in that spot when the
ball went in the air contest absolutely
and george union today also put a ball
into mendy that essentially cost him a
goal because mendy wasn't ready for it
and that confidence level mendy starts
to look worse because he's getting more
shots on target that are less protection
there's like it's this and then we go
back to my what get ready for drinking
football is a weak link sport
which means uh when that one of those
when when your strongest link in the
chain now becomes
something you strung together with duct
tape
then you're really much weaker because
well especially yeah you're holding
everything together yeah right yeah
you're counting on that if there's a
weak link that you're used to having if
it's marcus alonso let's say you're like
okay let's play down the right you know
like whatever you're keeping the ball
away from them yeah but if it's a
central and b something that's a focal
point of your not just your attack but
your your your everything it's your
identity yeah yeah you're right then it
sort of falls apart it seems much easier
right um and and
yeah it's just it's hard but that's why
i mean i just don't understand why
i mean i do right but
it's hard it's just a hard reason for
you okay fine
for
for
if i'm managing a team
yeah and i have n'golo kante
and i know he's old and i know he's sort
of broken at this point how the [ __ ]
is that not your first second and third
priority
like you went out and you spent a
hundred million dollars on
romelu lukaku you didn't need him he's
barely playing
right yeah
it is it is weird i don't understand it
maybe there's a little bit of blind spot
maybe they think that um uh your boy
who's the young guy
that's a that's a loney at norwich will
come in
no no the other one not from your team
the the kid who's the chelsea kid i
can't the scottish billy can't remember
yeah maybe they think gilmore will
become that maybe they think they can
cover it with saul maybe they think you
know anything i don't know the answer
but i think we should go through the
game because you know what i should say
i should stop saul was
that that guy for the coverage yeah okay
all right so okay so or or mount can be
that or whatever so the game starts uh
chelsea of course don't score goals from
strikers because they never do uh thiago
puts them up early from and then then
things this is the first mistake lanzini
scores a penalty on the georginio back
pass my guy jared bowen one of the
classic uh fan tracks uh trackers
because i hunted his ass down when he
had 20 goals at the break at hull before
west ham bought him he was one of my
favorite players he
bum rushes mendy mendy can clear it but
bowens gets on top of him mindy brings
him down lanzini steps up then of course
i mean chelsea have good resilience
mason went with a killer killer on the
half volley uh strike puts chelsea up
chelsea up 2-1 first of all they
shouldn't even give up one
chelsea winning is about as
hardcore a game over as you can do then
at the half west ham lose another
defender at this point west ham have
none of their regular defenders they
don't have zuma who's hurt uh he he
misses the game it's it's dawson and
diop and then ben johnson drops out of
the game so they've got basically no
defenders left
um lukaku comes on at halftime for
havertz who did nothing then bowen with
a killer strike from kufal
west ham are up
they are sorry the game's tied
zh comes off pulistic comes on
for
uh alonso but the interesting thing here
is
zuma comes off not for a defender but
for four nows
rice drops into defense and moyes is
telling his guys you guys are good
we're not afraid of chelsea pablo's get
we're gonna go get this [ __ ] win
right now takes lanzini off brings on
ben rama so they're going for it moyes
has told his team [ __ ] chelsea we're at
home we're west ham we're in the top
four we're going to get this thing
there's a run on the outside so masuaku
should never score this goal but there's
a run on an out on the outside that
opens up the space in a weird way an
overlapping run somehow there's a moment
to stop blocking across chelsea kind of
just a half a second of confusion
and masuwaku just
tries to cross it into the box he
mis-hits it or does it on purpose it
basically throws a knuckle ball into the
top corner mendy isn't even looking at
it because he's assuming the cross is
going to come up across the front of the
goal
and bend the other way and it pops in
and west ham
get the winner in the 87th minute
incredible scenes west ham blowing
bubbles
and um
yeah and saying the top four
staying in the top four when like the
pressure is on for real now yeah yeah no
because really really good was over the
course of the other games but
you know we talked about how there's two
teams three teams
and then there's ten right yeah
that's starting to the the form is
starting to the jail is starting to hard
right like we're starting to see okay
you're falling away you're falling away
now it's there's still a ton of games in
the next 30 days and there's still a lot
of wiggle room for this to change but
the tea leaves were almost at the
halfway point
you're starting to be like okay this is
really who you are
uh and more importantly this is who you
aren't right this is again i think the
first lesson that we learned i think
there's three teams maybe four if you
count west ham there's three teams that
we learned something definitively about
and chelsea was the first one right it's
like hey
you you're not you're not a title
challenger you're just not there and
again i say that on december 7th two
points off the top i mean the different
listen like i said it's 35 goals for xg
of 27 nine goals against xg of 15. they
everything about them says they're not
as good
as their as their numbers yeah so
they've slid down just a little bit not
too bad but liverpool and city are the
real they are playing to their numbers
and real right everyone else is
relatively close together except for
crystal palace which is weirdly a plus
even though they're down in 14th yeah um
next up the
[ __ ]
awful
[ __ ] heels that are liverpool uh i had a
feeling about this wolves team
playing well and they did play well they
defended for their [ __ ] lives but
they were organized they didn't feel
as though
they were lucky they had they i mean
they took one off the line i think um
but
liverpool
find a [ __ ] way to get this done yes
the xg blah blah blah i don't care about
that it was still an incredible
performance from wolves um
but of course what happens arigi off the
bench
aurigi finishes
it's just like
can this just not happen please yeah i
mean i mean it was just that i mean
there's really not much else to talk
about right we know that we talk about
we talk about often how good liverpool
are uh you know they're the best team in
the world i still think their 11 is
better than cities 11 because city are
22 deep so i don't know which of the 11
and from city are the best 11 but i know
who the best 11 in liverpool are so uh
city could play 411s for all i care but
liverpool's 11 is as good as anyone yeah
you can almost argue that their biggest
strength is that they are exactly like
okay going into the biggest game of the
year we didn't know city's exact lineup
i feel like we should
if it was a final
i kind of wish that there wasn't other
people because then pep wouldn't pick
them
i've said that for years you have to
take the toys away
yeah it's just like for [ __ ] sake
listen let's go back to what i just said
about chelsea champions find ways to win
when they're not at their best liverpool
this is just the latest example and and
you don't need us to tell you that
you could go back to 10 examples in the
last calendar year where you're like are
you [ __ ] kidding me again yeah are
you serious they just do this and thiago
was the leader in touches so you get a
sense that thiago
is there for the moments like this he
controlled this game as much as he could
as much as you know
wolves were heroic
and uh you know they played well and
they they looked like they were going to
get this draw but no
liverpool move on they stay in touching
distance so for a moment there they were
in first they jumped they jumped over
um
they jumped over chelsea chelsea had
seemed to be slipping a bit steem to be
cruising down the city game comes up
next
city just annihilate watford and i don't
think it's even
close
it's one of these games where
you know if i look at this as i watch
the game i was like oh typical city they
kind of don't have a killer instinct
they don't have a striker and it's just
looking at it from the surface but then
you look at the first you look at the
stats and it's like city had
26 shots on target 12 i mean 26 shots 12
on target the first half is just like a
complete and utter
dominant performance but you know no
they couldn't get a goal until
you know um until uh bernardo silva once
again comes up with the sorry raheem
sterling early sorry uh raheem sterling
early you think they're gonna just
batter them then silva with two more one
and a later in the first and then later
in the in the second half but
it was pure dominance more of the same
from city it now the record after the so
so watford scored a goal and in their
last six games i believe city were
outscoring watford
20 nil until the goal was scored so it's
just like a pure
dominance destructive force
city not even playing
not even getting out of first gear they
roll in and just like oh we're going to
bring on jack relish and phil foden for
this game and then we're going to do
some changes we'll um we'll bring on de
bruyne mares and jesus as our subs from
the 67th minute on it's just like not
fair
the depth is there city pull into first
place i wouldn't be surprised if they
didn't let it go honestly they're so
good right now even though
they don't finish which is weird
they're they're the opposite of neil
mopey
well actually they're exactly the same
as the
except without the sodomy
i can't hear you mike
i was on mute uh i want to talk about
watford and take the devil's advocate
approach on something that's why you got
that drivel about man city for so long
um
so
you know i look at the table and i look
at watford with four wins one draw 10
losses and they're minus 13 gold
difference right now they're pretty bad
i'm sorry they're minus nine excuse me
um yeah sure
but when i look at burnley another
watford earned 17th burnley currently in
the first place of the relegation zone
uh one seven and six with a minus seven
now
we've always talked about the from a
philosophical perspective of go try and
win games regardless of opponents
uh three points are better than one you
have to you have to only win one true in
the mid table but in the bottom those
single points so here's where it matters
the most right i think
i and it's it's negligible right now
it's only two
but when watford played to win and they
attack and you see leads do this too
they get their doors blown off sometimes
you lose goals right and goal difference
matters at the bottom it doesn't matter
no so
that could be something that that at the
end of the year you're looking at like
[ __ ] we have to win this game because
the tide does us nothing draw does
nothing because even if we draw even
with burnley for 17th place then they've
got us on gold difference by five so
yeah um
i've always you know we've like i said
we've always said you know go try and
win games as neutrals looking at these
teams we're always of course we want to
see the best teams in attacking football
but
maybe i mean
maybe there is something to the big sams
of the world right like
um
i i hate it i hate that i'm saying it
and again it's the devil's advocate
point of view but
burnley are three points behind well i
freaking will talk about why in a second
but
i almost feel like they might be in a
better position than watford if they
can't
go ahead and get some wins now watford
is certainly more explosive well
currently early have some tough moves
they lost they've lost corn
for a while
i don't know how long but losing corn a
during their christmas period is bad
right i mean burnley are on you know
they're on they just lost but they had
they had been on a four game
unbeaten run with one win well now but
that they lose a relegation six pointer
at newcastle right because
now you're looking at i mean speaking of
goal difference norwich is on minus
[ __ ] 23
watts yeah but look at them they're all
on like now now it's getting
they're all on 10 right like so so the
dean the dean smith appointment has made
a huge difference those two wins
put them right back in with the rest of
the group sure
and a couple of draws yeah we trust
we trust in daish
for some reason we don't know about
norwich we don't know about newcastle so
it's very very tight like it's that this
i mean i don't i can't imagine palace
would go down but they're on 16 watford
on 13. uh sorry chris palace leads in
southampton around 16.
watford is on 13 and then there's three
on 10. so it's not that far off
uh the six points but i we all imagine
that
it's we all imagine that
palace leads southampton won't go down
but they could i mean i don't know they
could get pulled in uh i think the issue
for the issue for southampton is they
can't score um but you know they're on
xg of 20 but only scored 14 goals that's
brutal yeah that is right there that's
danny that's what that means
yeah yeah so we do have to go to the
most high profile game not the best game
to watch but the most probably
interesting game to watch which was men
united won uh one nil to men united
against crystal palace crystal palace
play the
generic team that united play i don't
think it necessarily matters that they
were in this game they were not at their
best i didn't like what i saw from them
gallagher couldn't really get in the
game but
the first
30 to 25 minutes of united was the best
i've seen them play
oh god
years as a user yeah and so during this
game you talked to me you sent me
something um
and you were basically saying something
along the lines of you know it's been
this many games
for united since i wouldn't stop stop
because you have to look at united as
before olay and post-ale right like
because there's just no other way to
look at them other than that prison
because when you look at this season
there are 38 games which means there are
what 23 to go
for manchester united there's 60 percent
of the season roughly 65. what do you
want to say yeah there's a lot of
racetrack left and if maybe you've got
an idea you want to talk about an easy
schedule they have sure cupcake of
cupcakes i mean it is laughable how like
it's almost like the gods
[ __ ]
had them change their manager you're you
ready for like the next ten go for it
norwich brentford brighton newcastle
burnley wolves villa
west ham
they don't play
big ones they don't play a big six club
until
march
5th
stop it march 5th
when they play city again then the back
half of the season they go through hell
then it's city spurs liverpool
leicester
and then chelsea at the end but they
basically have a run here where they
could if they won five in a row or no
you know if they won yeah if they if out
of their next 30 they got 25 points i
wouldn't be surprised
well that really cements my suspicions
and my fears that but the narrative
there no i mean
look
they're a point behind spurs they're
three points behind west ham
uh there's no reason why of those three
teams and i think despite my comments
about chelsea i want to be clear they're
still they're better than those teams
they're comfortable right okay there's
now there's there's
the oil and the vinegar and all the
other sediments are stored sort of
separating right so you've got the the
top tier is two
uh chelsea's alone in the the second
tier if you will at three and then the
third tier i really think it's a three
horse race uh and i and i'm putting
spurs in it for now and i i don't
necessarily you should you should
because because you have kante we have
kante
coach
and we've got oliver skip and you've got
and you've got kane to start scoring
well that's the thing right we're here
and sonny and kane have been absent for
the most sonny's been good i've been
fine
uh but he hasn't been he wasn't listen
he hasn't been anywhere near the first
half of a year ago and i'm not saying he
should be no he can find me the
difference if i'm in the middle right
and and additionally
there's a direct correlation between
kane's quality and son's quality right
so yeah they connect together yeah kane
is starting to do things he's just not
showing up on the score sheet and what i
mean
the thing i noticed so i'll go back to
united but
i there was a moment that he took the
ball you know just inside the midfield
maybe in the final third and he turned
and ran and i was like
oh
he can run again because he couldn't i
was like what's wrong he can't run
yeah and and so he's starting to
effectively wake up right and body's
starting to work he's starting getting
yeah he's getting a lot more hockey
assists which don't go down in the book
but those are that you know he's setting
up plays that are being finished off by
others yeah um
anyway my point is is that that
that tier you have to put west ham in it
whether you like it or not well they're
there they've got the points in the
pocket right they're there right um i do
i do want to talk about the rangnick
thing
united really worked hard really played
as a unit if you are familiar with the
best versions of southampton
they basically played like southampton
play with the this this idea of the four
two two two where it's a very narrow
group and the
they play with two tens and two nines so
it's a very weird system where they take
their wingers and they bring them inside
and expect them to work out
but what that does is it stops counter
attacks because they're a big central
box in the middle and they played really
well and and they to be fair
exciting especially the first 25 minutes
i was like holy [ __ ] i'm scared
what's gonna happen to the rest of us
now that they have coaching um but then
they kind of first half peter's out
then the second half is just gross it's
just
kind of stop start lots of fouls
no real chances on either side here or
there there were some little things and
then fred showed up uh with a really
nice finish late in the game to put
united through i thought i
it was just after jordan iu who i didn't
understand why he was playing it was
like why is iu playing when you have
alisi and alicia and eze it didn't make
sense to me uh zaha did his usual thing
where when he plays against teams that
are actually good he can't do [ __ ] um
very normal stuff uh benteke didn't
really do much nobody really did
anything for palace it's kind of
disappointing
from their perspective you know i always
have a soft spot for palace they just
they've got something good going i kind
of wanted them to do
more
but united get the win
they have their first clean sheet
ever it feels like it feels like they
haven't had a clean sheet in eons
the fact that their defense actually
functioned was incredible because
their last they've had four clean sheets
one was in week three and then oh they
shut out tottenham when nuno was just
being a [ __ ] yeah on his last leg
yeah so the best game the best game in
tottenham hotspur history yeah that was
the greatest oh thank god you know but
that was decisive to be fair about spurs
like that that's really illustrative of
the difference between spurs
having decisive management whether you
like it or not and you know what happens
at united where they [ __ ] up and they
should have signed him anyway now they
may win in the end with rangnick i feel
like rangnick is more of what united
need rather than kante they would if if
they had gotten kante they'd be still in
the same cycle and they'd still be
leading rang nick later but rang nick
yeah it's almost as if like there's the
the name brand is actually rarely the
thing that gets you where you want to go
yeah it's the
it's the polished diamond that nobody
actually really yeah what they needed
what they needed was like a provost of a
university who's going into a school
that has bad fraternities
right and he's going to clean it up you
know they need dean wermer they're going
to put united is on double secret
probation right and uh you know it's
time
0.00
so so rang nick is there getting things
sorted out uh and and it was good and
i'm nervous i think that united will be
good now all of a sudden they have a
coach and the germans have come they've
invaded they have now bombing london uh
the radar all the way up to manchester
yeah they did not uh the radar did not
catch them as they were flying over and
this is what would have happened if uh
the if the germans had won and now
they're here
um
there's uh there's a couple more games
we get we can skip around a little bit
yeah we just talked about how those
three teams yeah um
listen spurs won three now what i'll say
about it is
it was uncomfortable and it was 3-0 and
spurs are the only team who can ever
[ __ ] accomplish that and that's all i
want to really say about it next
um because when we look at the table
right like that's that four five six but
what i was going to finish that thought
was to say that united
has to be the favorite for four now
absolutely one thousand percent they're
gonna make and they'll be too far gone
to really be a title challenger oh no no
they can't get there and it's it's not
that they can't make up nine ten points
no those other teams won't drop another
it's that man city and liverpool won't
drop 10 points between man city and
liverpool
there's probably
if there were five losses between them
i'd be shocked right now
between no
for the rest of the season the rest of
the way sure yeah like it's gonna be one
of these they're gonna get into that 85
to that 86 to 92 point range sure yeah
they're gone they're long gone yep and
then well i mean if you extrapolate it
it's 70 right now for city over 30 games
and that's another nine games is 27
points
so
yeah yeah they're
they're in that 85 range you're right
anyway um but so i think that you know
united
probably at the end of the day
especially with the run you just told me
about they're gonna take off but
but
the one caveat is is that
it's almost as if
you want to play some big games over the
over the holiday break because you're
just you're gonna [ __ ] drop points at
some point anyway you might as well you
know well i mean these are the points
you should have that's the other piece
that's difficult yeah i mean reverse
engineering and i get it yeah but the
other piece is there's weird results
during this period so for the for the
uninitiated there's like they just
england for some reason unlike the rest
of europe
plays through christmas
not just plays plays like three times as
often as they normally do and then the
rest of europe takes a break
they're like we're done we're good we're
good
um
yeah and so all that was setting up uh
today's game or yesterday's game i
should say everton versus arsenal uh is
a very interesting one um but
as we look at the table right now
arsenal sit seventh and they're only a
point behind united but doesn't that
feel like it's ten
like it's just they're not in the same
class they're not there and that's what
i mean about the
the the levels and the the
um
just these groups of teams starting to
separate and arsenal sure maybe are they
the best of the rest maybe probably not
but maybe um
but they sit at seventh right now what
did you have them in the in the uh i had
them in
top five
no
did i say for them to be finished fifth
i did i oh i thought it was six but
nonetheless so if it was six fifths
whatever it's fine they're right around
where you said they'd be they were they
are who you thought they were
um
i just this is a game like you said
paper tiger this is this is the game
that arsenal nailed on loses and i wish
i had my wits about me because that
would have been one of my best bets on
thursday
uh yeah but the thing is is everton
we're awful
yeah and just like
no no not this game but they had been
coming off a terrible run where it was
just they just got
smoked by
by um by liverpool
it was all like rafa's dead this team's
finished but they found a way and you
know
rafa gets 36
36
possession
they had two goals disallowed
and they scored two
and one of the one of them that they
scored the winner was
ridiculous like i just watched it it's
from another time zone although they
didn't get out to him he's a good player
but that's a goal he scores
one out of every fifty when i look at
this rundown like and i saw a little bit
of the game i was working today so i
couldn't catch them a lot of it but
arsenal 588 passes
but shots on target three like that's
just much ado about nothing for the
gunners
hit the bar i mean they're missing
finishing they're missing now they're
missing veteran leadership but i i think
i still stand by where where uh arsenal
are they're still in that they're up and
down they lose a couple their confidence
drops then they'll play someone's shitty
they'll beat them they'll feel good and
start playing well again it's that kind
of thing you know what's funny what's
funny is they have a cerebral coach
in in arteta what they really needed was
steve gerard which is pretty funny
could you imagine that he's got a fire
behind his players for all that
englishness that they have in that room
too yeah and he's got he's got villa
really playing well they beat they beat
lester i watch the game and i for some
reason don't remember it as well as i'd
like to i'm going to pop open the scores
and look at the scoring again oh it's
konza twice
remember now uh and harvey barnes with a
good goal they went up first and then
konza scored a couple uh one late there
was a disallowed goal in this one that
was just an abomination which michael
who i said was falling apart and a bad
goalkeeper and he nearly gave up a goal
and konza put it in before
but
uh schmeichel had
his hand on the ball
then the ball is kicked out from under
his hand and the var says that he has
control of it yeah it's a shocking
decision uh it's ridiculous um
you know it's one of these things where
they'll have to change the rule because
it's dumb
they just have to do that right it's one
of these things i think
i think lester is actually in bad shape
for two reasons yeah michael is one soya
chews the other they can't seem to
defend anymore what happened i think in
the euros with turkey getting their
doors blown off them has damaged
soyanchu who i really liked a lot i was
a fan i'm a fan he's got a lot of
otamendi tendencies though these days
doesn't he
yes i think i can see the same thing the
thing is they have vesterguard why don't
they just i guess that's so strange we
talked about that as one of like the
low-key
that's such a lester buy yeah right the
problem is that if they play if they
play evan's investor guard you just run
past it run right by him yeah i guess
right because because because so inches
is really fast
but
he's he's now becoming a liability i i'm
not worried for rogers i think he's fine
i'm just worried for lesta and i'm
disappointed that daca didn't get on the
scoresheet because he was so good he was
really lively we all love pats and daca
but it feels like he needs to score
goals or else he'll just get taken off
from the game
and then the other piece is like
lester played well with our friend
kolechi nine and a half ian nacho
and they stopped playing him for madison
who yeah he's i don't i wonder if
there's a way that they can get
ionacho madison
vardy
barnes in together they have that
problem they've got the same
players over and over again and i think
really what they would need to have
happen is they need to have vardy
go so that they can play the younger
players
or they need to have madison go
realistically and they miss the window
to sell big on him they should have sold
him to arsenal and then arsenal wouldn't
have um wouldn't have odegaard
right
so it's one of those sliding doors i
think odegaard's better honestly no i i
think madison is a little too
if you go back two years ago i think
you'd rather have madison right at the
point of sale yeah um
but
yeah it's not it's funny because they're
friends but like madison reminds me a
lot of deli and
it's just like hey man on any day you
could be better than everybody here you
just don't [ __ ] want it bad enough
that's where i get out of madison um i
think he does
he he got hurt i think yeah
he's had some injuries and he's working
through them still but um it's just
weird he also doesn't play back right
and the way to get all of those players
in the field at the same time is have
madison
go from a 10 to an eight and he's either
incapable on willing or rogers is
unwilling or some semblance like some
synergy of the three of those things the
thing is
lester has a poor man's
kante in indeed he's pretty good the
problem is that johnny evans is bad
and they're different their two
defenders are they have injuries i get
it whatever i mean the bigger thing for
me is is what um gerrard's doing with
villa this is the villa we thought we
were gonna have yeah right this is the
team that's now in the top ten they jump
over lester into kind of their space and
now i can see them
pushing into that eight nine area and
being up there with that weird team you
know this is clearly like villa belongs
in the arsenal
west ham area of the of the table and
the rest of us we're gonna continue to
go from the talent wise right they'll go
up
as the season goes along yeah if we're
going to continue to have those groups
right i started this by saying arsenal
at seven if you're looking at the table
currently arsenal wolves brighton villa
lester is there anybody there that you
go
okay seven through ten seven through
eleven yeah that makes sense for
basically all of those good group the
week the weak link is everton needs to
be did you say everton
well right now they're in 12th yeah but
like yeah but everton everton really is
in that it's a it's a it's a real and
these are the ambitious group right this
is like the teams that want to be higher
um with the exception of arsenal i
suppose but they get a pass this year
historically they're so big
so they have like if right if you took
the freaking payrolls of the three teams
underneath them they could fit into
arsenal's like arsenal's still playing
way over the numbers and they're trying
to get into [ __ ] aubameyang's car
which is why he's late to games all the
time picking everybody up you've got no
you've
any of these teams i'd go okay
the honestly big surprise for me in this
group is lester
being being the group at all right they
they they've been you know what what was
the stat this was the craziest thing
during the game i listened they said
that lester has spent in the past two
years lester spent more time in the top
four than any team in the premier league
i believe that
because they fell out of the top four on
the last day of the season two seasons
in a row yeah and city had some time out
liverpool fell out for a lot of the
season chelsea almost missed it you know
united obviously but they were
nailed on it's they're the yes you are
right they are the dead weight and it's
a defensive problem for them yeah yeah
and
i think that rogers has his head turned
too i think he's kind of bored there i
think he's done what he can and
you know like he said he dropped that
he's got yeah he's got and the thing is
is like to make fun of spurs because i
have to he got his fa cup he got his
trophy he did what he was supposed to do
he can walk away and go hey i won
something here uh this matters you know
unlike you know spurs who seem to they
you guys need that thank you so you need
that it's everywhere
it matters hey
you you're you draw you drew the the
morkum shrimpers listen
it's your birthday so i'm going to be
nice to you about that shot i'm going to
give you that one for free but no i like
but you're sitting there lester in 11th
you're under 500
i don't under and and yet i wanted to
say goal scoring was the problem the
sixth in the league in goals
yeah a defense it's a defensive problem
and like i said schmeichel schmeichel's
bad he's secretly bad but yeah can't get
rid of him i get that um well any other
games we we should probably touch on
let's leaves brentford and then we're
going to finish up with the big finale
like we did last week so let's talk
quickly about leads in brentford
party
yeah uh really fun little game here um
you know uh
leads went up then batiste brought it
back
uh brentford are up they look like
they've got this game in hand the
goalies up in the 95th minute my guy
luke ayling assists to banford
crowd goes wild he gets the card for
taking his shirt off it's not a
coincidence that ailing and freaking um
that luke ailing and uh uh
branford are back and leeds are winning
those two guys the team didn't have the
depth this is this was um
this was
been ailing first game in a while he's
back he makes a difference he makes
their man bun uh equation make sense
so
now they're back where they need to be
rafinha with the assists on the way
first goal our late late draw
and that's going to be the segway
we talked last week about neil mulpey
okay
there was a clip
from our show and if you haven't seen it
go what what you had it it was time
stamped you don't it was like it's like
the 44th minute if you're into this this
episode this long you probably listen to
it at that point but go back and go
about the 45 minute mark listen to
laurent go on about neil mulpey
he's the kind of guy that's going to
steal your girl and sodomizer okay
it went further than that it's even
better than that there was it's even
better references to window wipes oh
there's a million things yeah i know we
had it we had almost a spit tank it was
a lot okay it's a good bit
now come back to saturday
and that sets the scene for southampton
leading one-nil most of the game yeah
yeah
and enter neil mopey go ahead take it
away uh neil mopey
uh he looks like he's offside it's a
free kick
something goes on i think southampton's
keeper is injured but still in the game
and asks james ward prowse
to run into the line and then so the
shot comes he runs back the shot comes
off and then james ward process running
back up to try and play neil mopey
offside but the shot goes wild mopey
takes a shot like an atom ball shot
right at him right to his feet he takes
touch slams at home gets the draw
and as i'm watching it the announcers
shout
it's the neo-mopey again he puts it in
again and i just the way he they put
it in he slides it in he puts it in i
just
couldn't
deal with it because as we know he's the
friend and then he does the taunting
that he does on the road uh the way a
crap shitheel french guy does the same
way the same sort of thing that we've
been talking about his
sodomizing ways of stealing wives
stealing girlfriends hide your wife hide
your kids it's [ __ ] neil mopey and
he's getting draws late for brighton
and then
he draws for everyone and he sticks it
in again this is a man who is a menace
to society and we have to watch out for
him but i do wish brighton would get
some goddamn wins because uh you know my
friend mr mr potter doesn't look as good
when he's just drawing games and sliding
down the table like
that like mopay slides into your mrs dms
hey there you go i was going to say her
sliding into
yeah yeah something's a family show it's
a family something slippery
[Laughter]
oh my god it would be amazing if he did
the swan dive celebration oh if he does
i can't i can't with neil broke it i
think i really you know so he was
another one of those guys that i had
identified from brentford when brentford
went from mopay watkins to tony so they
were like
creating
scoring center forwards that they would
then sell on for 45 million dollars
right so they sold mopay to brighton for
25 and then watkins for 40. they still
got tony they'll move tony on eventually
when they they'll just go you know
you're the guy they'll just move and
bueno over yeah and then he'll they'll
be doomed because he can't hit the side
of a [ __ ] barn
but uh yeah neil mopey's evil uh he is
sliding it in where in a town near you
where is his next uh where is his next
port of call not your mother but
where is this next port of call i need
to know i need to know who brighton play
next i think it's west ham
uh so that should be
yeah west ham and oh no it's you
[ __ ] me in the ass
not you neil
wow they really have drawn wow they
looking at you should just look this is
an incredible i don't want to this is an
incred i almost have to share a screen
just to show you there uh
just to show you
where
the poor
look at that look at that run of
fixtures for [ __ ] brighton that's
that's pathetic
those are blue that's a lot of blue
uh uh-oh we're into crazy town oh my
goodness so many mirrors anyway so that
is the show
uh what else have you got do we have any
betting i don't think any of our bets
went through i don't think
i took brentford but didn't actually put
the bet down and they ended up drawing
in the last minute because that sucked
yeah that's how it goes um no i i don't
really have we'll we'll talk about that
on thursday though ahead of the week but
another weekend oh we we have one thing
what do you got
new castle earning their first win of
the season big deal for them
we talked about the bottom of the table
eddie howe off the schneid was oh well
that was the schneids i don't
schneids
they're off
we're on the schneid that's the beauty
of doing the rundown before the show we
don't have to feel bad about leaving
someone out oh yeah absolutely
there you go what's the new style do you
guys like the new style do you hate it
tell us yeah let us know we listen okay
let's get the [ __ ] out of here
it was the squeaky bum time podcast with
neil mopey mike salerno and lauren
cortese uh specifically talking about
bums the football we are the football
wing of the chop sports network we
record on tuesdays and fridays and
birthdays so be sure to subscribe
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