Premier League Week 3: Saturday. Crap predictions from a crap pundit

Taking the advice from my friend Mike, I’m going to forgo any formal style punditry and just go for gut feeling and bullshit thoughts. We’ll see how this goes.

Bournemouth v. Manchester City
This better be a fucking thrashing. City have battered Bournemouth and they are the only team that don’t act like punks putting 10 behind the ball… I’ll wake up and find out if I’m going to have a miserable day. Prediction. Bournemouth 1-4 Manchester City

Crystal Palace v. Swansea.
Shit game. I have no faith in Frank DeBoer, the Palace coach. He’s going to lose this game against the most english of Englishy managers Paul Clement. Swansea will hit these clowns on the break and DeBoer will be the first manager fired in the Premier League. You can bet on that. Palace 1-2 Swansea

Huddersfield v. Southampton
More crap football… I am going for the Saints… they just have better players…. and their kits are sharp. Huddersfield 0-1 Southampton

Newcastle v. West Ham
I have a secret love for both these teams… If one of these teams gets a loss… its trouble… They both sense that… It’s a draw…. Hang in there Tony C. The Hammers will be fine. Newcastle 1-1 West Ham

Watford v. Brighton.
Don’t care. Pass. Brighton get their first goal… they are due.
Watford 2-1 Brighton.

Manchester United v. Leicester
I love this game and I hate United. A shoot out… Super-man-boy-ratfink racist Jaime Vardy with the hat trick in a 3-2 win. Mourinho gets his loss and the narrative shifts. Leicester – heart of a champion!
Manchester United 2-3 Leicester

Sunday’s matches will be reviewed in a second post.

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