Even as I start to type this out using my phone, I already hate it. I know most of you will read this post on your phones. I am completely addicted to my phone. I can’t get it out of my hands. I can’t stop looking at it. And can’t stop wondering what the next post is or what the next image will be.

It will either be some piece of nostalgia. Perhaps it’s some band I liked. It could be some TV show I liked. Or it might be a toy I remember. It will be some political thing I already know I don’t like and reinforce that… Look how stupid Trump is. Look how stupid Kamala is. Look how stupid this Karen is. Look how stupid this Gen Z is.  Or worse. Look at this terrible fight. Look at this terrible crash. Look at this horrible person.

Each one of those items blasting me with the next round of dopamine. A little hit. A little flash of light. A little flash of joy. Something that will keep me coming back. Rarely anything I need or want or had thought about for years or even needed to know about.

Our brains have been rewired by the mechanics of a slot machine to break our brains. We get into a flow state hoping for that jackpot of something interesting. A real comment by a real friend. A great song that brought you joy. A meme that brings you a real laugh. But they are more few and far between. And we put out coins in one more time… Pull to refresh. Flick to scroll. Doomscroll after doomscroll hoping for something to get us one more hit of that precious dopamine.

More than anything the Doomscroll makes me sad. I get upset with myself for spending time on the phone. But I can’t stop. I got off my phone the other day. I told my wife, “I can feel the energy in my brain.” It was seeping out of my mind. I felt dumber. I felt the lack of brain chemicals to act like a normal person. I felt the strain of the hours of shock and horror. Flashes of light and news added to the strain of one more hit. One more firing of the mind and I just WANT IT TO STOP.

I guess my question is? How do we get it all back? How do we stop using our phones? How do act like normal people again? I feel like a zombie half the time and then I come out of it and say? What the hell happened to my day? Well, there goes another 20 hours this week dedicated to my phone…