In this exhilarating episode, we celebrate Manchester City‘s incredible achievement of becoming Premier League champions for the third time in a row! With pride and a touch of anger, we analyze the journey of Manchester City and the narrative woven around them. Listen in as we discuss the impact of Nottingham Forest‘s win against Arsenal in the relegation battle and how different the coverage was of Newcastle United’s win compared to Manchester City’s.
We also examine the core of the team that enabled Manchester City to reach this historic milestone. From the importance of Nathan Ake, John Stones, and Kyle Walker to the attacking trio of Mahrez, Foden, and Alvarez, we discuss the individual contributions that made this success possible. Don’t miss our analysis of Phil Foden’s impressive stats, how the team has become physically strong and defensively solid, and a look back at the trophy lift and Erling Haaland’s first title.
Lastly, we reflect on the end of the season for Arsenal and give credit to Steve Cooper for his work with Nottingham Forest. We discuss the unusual moment of all three promoted teams surviving to the next season, and the three teams that will be saying goodbye. Listen in as we consider the impact of the Brighton game on Arsenal’s spirits and how they need to pick themselves back up again. Join us for this action-packed episode celebrating the beautiful game of football!
0:00:00 – Man City’s Premier League and Analysis
0:03:30 – Process of Manchester City’s Success
0:10:51 – The Power of Ruben Dias
0:12:30 – Football Dominance and Victory
0:13:52 – Manchester City’s Champion Team
0:16:40 – Premier League Analysis
0:18:09 – Nottingham Forest’s Premier League Return
0:21:50 – Arsenal’s Need for Growth
0:28:18 – Premier League Permutations
0:32:30 – Football Updates and Historic Achievement
0:36:24 – Tottenham’s Struggles and Potential New Coach
#PremierLeague #ManchesterCity #Champions #NathanAke #JohnStones #KyleWalker #Márez #Foden #Alvarez #PhilFoden #SteveCooper #NottinghamForest #Arsenal #MorganGibbs #Awani #DeZerbi #LewisDunk #HarryKane #RyanMason #ArneSlot #EuropeanFootball #Tottenham #TrophyLift #ErlingHolland
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0:00:00 - Laurent Courtines
Hello and welcome to the Squeaky Bum Time podcast, presenting exclusively on the CHOP Sports channel of the premier streaming network. We are recording this on Monday, may 22nd. I am your host, laurent Courtines. In this episode, Nottingham Forest Escape. While Arsenal collapse, Brighton and Newcastle United are going to Europe. We'll review the entire relegation battle, but first the Triple Crown champions, Manchester City, have become Premier League champions for the third time in a row five and six years, seven and 12. We're going to talk all about Manchester City right after this.
Please like, share and subscribe to the show. It means everything to us. We need you, we love you. Please, please, please, share the show, like the show, subscribe to the show And if you want to let me know, please write anywhere you can find me that you want to be in our WhatsApp group and you can join the show. Let's get to it.
Ok, by virtue of the great and powerful Nottingham Forest defeating the weak and feeble Arsenal, Manchester City were champions before they even had to play on Sunday, but of course, they still defeated the limp dicked Frank Lampard, chelsea, and take home the title. What did I feel? It felt great, it felt easy, it felt smooth, and today all I have felt was the inevitability and the power of my team, but also very angry, and I'll get that to that in a minute. The anger is coming from just the coverage. City live in this narrative world where our money, our process, our charges are always in the first paragraph of whatever city do We win the Champions League, oh, what about the charges If we, if we win five and seven? oh, how come we're not this? So I was really angry about it, especially after the Newcastle game today, because the coverage was completely different. Newcastle are this Oh, isn't it nice for their fans, isn't it great that they've made it to Europe? Isn't it fantastic, this beautiful club that always deserved it, a sleeping giant, while city or some pariah, terrible, evil organization that just happened to be the greatest football team in the world. That's one thing I took with me. The other piece is just a sense of enormous pride, enormous connectivity to the club about what they've done and how they've done it. It is just a miracle, it is just a masterclass, it is just an inevitability of how good this Manchester City team are. And if you've been listening to the show all year, i didn't feel good about it. You know I'm, i'm city inside, i'm pessimistic. There's a reason I love this club and it's because of its dark history. It's because of its its typical city.
And this season was not easy for city as much as we won 12 in a row And all these things happened. There were so many touchstone markers within the course of this season That did not say that city were winning this league. Arsenal were on 50 points after 19 games. It was not inevitable that city would win this league. Rico Lewis played center back, 18 year old, played in this inverted win in inverted winger mill. Kevin De Bruyne was verbally attacked by Pep Guardiola. Pep Guardiola had a press conference where he said this team is not going to win anything if they don't get their act together. Ilkai Gundogan had a moment where he said our levels are not where there should be Around the February place. It was not a foregound conclusion that this team was going to win.
I know no one wants to hear from city. I know the narrative says we're this inevitable death machine of glory, but I say these things to show that there is a process, that this is not some we bought it thing. This is a well honed machine with the greatest manager of all time at the helm, helming the greatest team of all time. If city win the treble, or I think if they even just win the Champions League with this group, i think the FA Cup will be in its own thing and United can have its trouble. If they win the Champions League this season on June 10th against Inter, this city side winning five titles in six years, three in a row, has to be considered with the great teams of all time, those great teams being two United sides, like I said, the 99 to 01 team and the and the 07 to 09 team with Ronaldo. And then I think there is an arsenal side in there that we've got to sort of touch on the invincibles. They had 14 draws. They didn't, i don't think they even had 90 points. That's one thing. And then the first Mourinho team, which was different gravy, where they only gave up 13 goals all year. It was an amazing team that changed English football, i think, for the worse. It was the lowest scoring period in Premier League history when Rafa Benita So, but that was no doubt a great team and sort of led the narrative of the rest of the league for a few years, and those players from that Mourinho team did end up winning the Champions League years later. So there is some kind of activity there, but Manchester City, the players, deserve all the credit of finding a way and making it seem easy.
I want to go through each of the players that I think really drove this team forward and give a little bit of narrative around each one, because I think that city do deserve the wherewithal to be discussed in this manner. Each one of these players has been an important cog and brings something to this team that I can point to, that lifted the spirit of the team. I'll start with Edison. I'm just going to go by minutes and sort of get down to about Alvarez and Rico Lewis. So Edison has been a core piece. He was one of the first players to come in after we tried, after we got rid of Joe Hart and Bravo clearly couldn't save anything. He solidified the goalkeeper position And while he has been had a hard time with not that many shots faced and his expected goal saving is not as good because City gave up really difficult chances His passing is incredible And I think in the Champions League he's shown to still be able to be a quality shotstopper One it mattered, but he gave me concerns Second of our five defensive fullbacks that play in City.
Rodri is the most important. He is the most irreplaceable player. Our one flop this year, calvin Phillips, was there to give us some cover, but Rodri has been the player that makes this team tick And we don't win or have the pace and control without Rodri in the midfield, played center back for Spain. So this is really City play with five center backs. Next, in terms of minutes, the great and powerful Erling Haaland, just completely changing City. I think one thing to keep in mind is he's plus nine on expecting goals. So he scored 36 on what you'd expect to be 27 goals. That's an amazing number for any striker. Harry Kane and Hinman Sun have been typically in that range, but that's why he broke the record.
He had an outlandish season. You'd have expected him to be on the end of about 27 goals. As a good striker, he's probably more in line with like a 31-32 goal season, but those extra goals go a long way. And then, of course, right behind them are great, powerful leader Kevin De Bruyne, who makes this team go. He's the emotional leader, please, just because of his spirit of wanting to go forward. He hates when city goes slow. He always wants to make the most difficult pass. It's why he, of all the mid attacking players, has probably the worst passing percentage, because his passes are the line breakers, the ones that tries to get onto Haaland, and when he's not on the side we have a hard time getting the ball to Haaland.
Then, of course, our lovable captain from this year, the quiet assassin of Ilkai Gundogan, just coming up with big goals I think about Aston Villa that was the last time I really let out a scream aside from this rail, my grid game and he will probably leave the team. And I think he and De Bruyne, both 31 and 32, they're only six months apart in age, less than that And I think that they will be the senior pairing that will slowly disappear from the team and Foden and Grealish will step into their spaces and take over the team. But Gundogan has been essential to this team And I was listening to the two Ravi's podcast who are an inspiration for this show on NBC and they called Kevin De Bruyne, ilkai Gundogan and Bernardo Silva. Assassins, killers who look like insurance salesmen. De Bruyne, with his ruddy face always looks tired. Ilkai Gundogan with just like your run of the mill, sort of like insurance salesman if you put on a suit, you wouldn't know the difference. And then, of course, the skinny, slight Bernardo Silva with his little beard, slightly balding, kind of just coming around. They're just killers. They wanna win every ball And I think Gundogan accomplishes that.
And then we've got Akanji, one of our most important player in the back line this season because of availability. He's been there for every game. He's played where every pet wants him And even when we play diminished sides he's in the side. He comes to the team for like $20 million from a late season edition, really to just have coverage, because we knew that Laporte had been hurt and he ended up taking over the spot and controlling the team. Silva's nap next, just any time we wanna defend from the front, Silva and it becomes a defensive game. Silva is the player who's in When we wanna score and break teams down. Márez is the player When it's a defensive team that we need balance. Silva is that player And he's been great for over the whole run coming from the team.
And then, of course, our beloved Jack Grealish, 27 now not a spring chicken entirely, but he's been a breakout player this season, contributing five goals, seven assists and still the most creative outlet slowing games down. He's our Jack the Lad. He's the first player we bought from Citi. That was not solely about how he played, and his play has been vital. He's defending like a madman. He tracks back all the time. Draws fouls is incredible. But he's our representative after games. Whenever Citi win the league, he's the first guy you go to. You get quotes. He's a superstar. He's in the Beckham mold. He's got a loveability and a quality of bottom that you'd like Jamie Tartt. This season's hair from Ted Lasso is totally based on Jamie Tartt. I'll keep going. And then this is my favorite Citi player right now Ruben Dias. Our worst player technically, but our biggest leader, ruben Dias.
It's not a coincidence that when he got back together after the World Cup, after the disappointment of Portugal, he was out of the side. Once he got into the side is exactly when Citi took off and went on this 12 game winning streak. It was not a foregone conclusion. If you think that you're wrong, he is the one who got into the team and solidified it. He missed the sort of winter months after the World Cup and kind of disappeared for a bit And you're like what the fuck is going on with him. He was hurt. He was not right, whatever it was, but his last game. He comes out of the side January 19th and returns on oh sorry, yeah, he left the team in November and doesn't come back as a starter until February. And then Citi does not lose a game. He was 22 and three, 22 and one in the Premier League this season. So he's the catalyst for this team taking off exactly when he comes in February 12th, comes into the side and Citi don't lose again. Yes, he's in the Nottingham Forest draw, but that's the only game he lost. He only lost one game all year against Liverpool away. That's it in October. So Dias is the talisman of our defense and changes the mentality of the team, and he's the player I love the most out of the team. I love Vincent Company, but I am also a huge fan of the great and powerful Ruben Dias.
Along with those five center backs, nathan Ake, who's now been out of the side, was a key player as well because he became the left back and left footed. We would play with those two left footed players, so important for buildup. And out of that, then John Stones and Walker and the boys from England, the England boys, the boys from Yorkshire. We had Stones and Walker. Stones Walker, 32,. John Stones 28,. Defense getting old, can't believe. John Stones is 28, feels like a kid, scored important goals became a midfielder. John Stones became our most important midfielder, between he and Rodry. Rodry going from defense into the midfield and Stones going from defense from midfield to defense just an incredible group.
And then, of course, our attacking trio of Márez and Foden and Alvarez all part of the checking line, part of the players that come in that we find moments and score goals. Here's Phil Foden only 20 starts, 1700 minutes, 10 goals, six assists. And Alvarez, also with nine goals. All these players are just incredible players and we get down to the end of the list here where we're sort of running out of the core group. But that's the core of the team.
Those are the players that have been relied upon to move this team forward, to beat Real Madrid, to change the way we've played, to become a WM, to be so defensively solid that now there's no, you're not afraid anymore. I don't know people don't know this about Citi, but Citi fans, in previous years, even when we were really good on the attack, you were afraid if someone could come to break on the break. Citi were vulnerable. They're no longer vulnerable. So strong Dias, with tackles, stones there, headers. This team is now physical, big English, a winner, a champion, and we're on for the treble, and that's about as long as I've got for them. They defeat Chelsea without really a problem.
The trophy lift is a dream, Erling Haaland, just lifting it for the fans. We invaded the pitch again, something that is nice for Citi fans. It's nice for the Etihad to see it be alive and full of life and the players, children's on the pitch, and all these players that just get to win their first titles. This is Erling Haaland's first title. We take it for granted, but he's 22 years old, he's never won a trophy, so he gets his first one. Akanji gets his first one. Other players are on five and Phil Foden's 22 years old with five Premier League trophies Just a great sort of moment of winning And as I talk about it, i feel great. Rico Lewis, captain of the PL2 team at 18 and now a Premier League champion. Oh, so many players just growing in stature, with Pep always changing.
You cannot follow along with Citi. We find a way to change enough to retain our identity as an attacking Crophean team that controls the ball, but changing the way we do it. Specifically, the philosophy is always there, but the tactics change. And while the leagues and everyone tries to chase and become Citi and you watch it you watch Trent Alexander-Arnold move into fullback. You watch Arsenal this weekend, just try to poppy Citi. We're already done with what you've copied. We're onto something else I do want to talk about. We move on.
I do want to talk about the great and powerful Nottingham Forest, who do defeat Arsenal at home in what felt like a coronation for Stevie Cooper. The city ground was rocking. Arsenal for some reason decided to try an entirely new backline, with Kivior at left back and Thomas Partey playing in the midfield and White on the right side. It did not work. The team Arsenal were completely disjointed, as though they'd never done what they did, because they hadn't, and they just handed an opportunity to Nottingham Forest to get them the win. And of course it was Morgan Gibbs, white on the break into Taiwan, ohanahi Gabrielle with the slide tackle, but he kicks it off of Awani's leg. But Awani does get the shot off and it goes past Rhymesdale. Nottingham Forest get their early goal And from there they never stopped fighting.
They never stopped and gave a fucking sniff of room for this Arsenal team that spent over 250 days top of the league. That seemed unstoppable. But now, in this phase, these last eight games, the three draws, the three losses, the only win being the Newcastle game they've really stumbled And I think, have cost our Teta a manager of the year trophy and it's really going down in a whimper. And it's too bad because I don't think it's fair to Arsenal to feel this way. But they do have to pick themselves back up Again.
I thought the Newcastle game was really a great moment for them, but this loss to Forest, which I predicted you could see it coming, it was just a game where you just knew Forest are gonna do this. I feel really proud of my analytical chops, to be fair. I knew Steve Cooper was a good coach. I knew the Nottingham Forest fans loved him. I knew that if they stuck with him after all those players had come in and he had the World Cup that in the back half of the season he'd get this team to play, because you could see it within Nottingham Forest that they were connected. They always fought to the end. They always gave all they could. They had Nea Cate with the long throws, always putting pressure on opponents goals. They went from Dean Henderson, who got hurt, onto Taylor Kailor Navas, who is a fucking three-time European Cup winner, and he's on Nottingham Forest making saves for them.
But it's just a great, great moment and we will have Nottingham Forest back in the Premier League again for next season. It's fantastic. So one of the things that happened that has very rarely happened is all three promoted teams survive to the following season. So we have Nottingham Forest, fulham, who had a fantastic season, and then, of course, the great and powerful Gary O'Neill, who rallied Bournemouth back in. So we have three teams who came up, are gonna be with us again, but we're gonna say goodbye to three teams as well, which is something we'll talk about in just a minute. Really fantastic to just see Nottingham Forest and their fans celebrate staying in the Premier League like it was a trophy. Because for clubs like Nottingham Forest who've spent 26 years in the wilderness, although they are two-time European Cup champions, their glory days being the late 70s coming up winning the league with Clough, then winning back-to-back European Cups and staying in the Premier League in the first division until the early 90s, when drink and alcohol sort of destroyed Clough and the team sort of collapsed, but they are part of the fabric of football, one of the famous small town clubs and having Nottingham Forest in the Premier League means everything And we're gonna see more from them.
Morgan Gibbs White one of the players of the season, i think one of the players that I will hold onto for this season as an important cog and an important person for the season, but from Wolves, because Wolves couldn't use a creative center midfielder who could score goals. I don't know what they were thinking, but you thought it was gonna be someone else for Forest, with all those players, and it ended up being Morgan Gibbs White who ended up being the player that drove them forward. Brendan Johnson scored goals early, but in these late moments they couldn't afford to have the frantic nature of Johnson running forward. They needed a bit more control and a bit more defending and a bit more pressing. And so Iwoni came back in and they used Johnson off the bench late game as another, as an energy guy, to get them through to their games. But they are exactly where they needed to be. A point per game got them through. Brendan Johnson sort of led the team in goals, but Gibbs White was their number one player. Five goals, seven assists and then the massive 10 goals from Iwoni at the end there He missed a bunch and they'll be back. I think that they have a real goal scorer. They have a real creative force. They're probably a really just one good defender away. They tried many, many players there.
If you remember the Emmanuel Dennis experiment, the John Jo Shelby experiment, the Chris Wood experiment, the Jack Colbeck experiment so many players came through this side I think they had 32 signings, but Steve Cooper was able to hold the team together and get the win they needed against the Remitey and Power for Arsenal. That you just knew what happened, which was so weird. Saka has sort of disappeared a little. You know they just I feel bad for Arsenal. I think the key thing and I've been talking about it a lot with Arsenal is they've got to remember all the good times and not focus on this sort of petering out three losses in their last five and really just focus on what they did do. I think the Brighton game really broke their spirits because they were really beaten badly against Brighton And then they really couldn't find it again to deal with Nottingham Forest and the energy. It just was too much for them. They got swallowed up by the moment in that time. So just something to think about for the Great and Power for Arsenal, who now have to really solidify, really pull themselves together, find the players, find the depth they need and understand that what they did this season, they could have a better season next season and not really have the opportunity to be where they are this time.
They're going to have won 25 games, which is a tremendous amount. They're just not there. They need more. They still the youngest team in the league outside of Southampton, which is still incredible. Arsenal 25.4 average age. The next contender on the list, Manchester United, is 27.8. So a full two years younger, that three years younger than City Three years, yeah, city's average age is 28. Liverpool's is 28. Tottenham's is 28. And then all these teams are much, much, much. I mean Chelsea's is 27, to be fair, and so is Brighton, but Arsenal still the youngest team in the league with Southampton. Just an incredible story. So there's a lot of growth to have and Arsenal should not feel bad about where they are. It's disappointing and incredible. It can be both disappointing and incredible.
We're going to go into the relegation battle where we saw Leeds lose 3-1 to West Ham. Big Sam gets his team up in front, first Rodrigo on the amazing volleyed throw in amazing To Weston McKinney with his flippy ball that he throws in and then Rodrigo on the volleyed ball and it felt like, oh wow, leeds are gonna do this, but not so fast, my friend. Leeds just cannot sustain it. They cannot change their habits, they don't have the personnel to change their habits and they started reserting to type as West Ham started growing into the game more and more and more and that energy and that power of West Ham, a team coming off a high of the Azad Alkmar game where they know they're going to a European final, west Ham just put the goals past them Once Declan Rice's goal then bowed on 72, lanzini on 94 to really cap it off. They couldn't hold onto it and really there was never a chance for Leeds even win this game. They just kind of wilted as the game went on and on and on and West Ham ended up dominating with nine shots on goal, 19 in total.
Again, robles had a good game because we know what would have happened if they didn't have Robles in there. They would have gotten annihilated. But they did push in the end bunch of shots to try and level it off, but not really a chance. So we stand in the relegation zone as we go and talk about also Lester getting a draw, a huge, massive draw against Newcastle, who then hold onto their European spot. But from a relegation perspective, lester considered getting their draw, taking only one shot on goal, on target, almost steal the game, late in the game, but really defensive, something we haven't seen from Lester at all.
I think Dean Smith probably was like you know what you guys have been trying to attack, you guys think you can attack. Well, you're fucking losing. And so we're going to go to Lester, play the way we have to play, to play for the nil, nil draw and hope that they can get something out of it. And they did. That draw is huge for them. They played five at the back Sutar, evans and Faust, with the three midfielders Sumari and Indeedy, so they really only attacked with three Telemans, Inacho and Vardy. But they did what they could and did what they needed to do, getting their only goal. And everyone worked hard, which is good you'd expect from a relegation battle. But where was this? They needed this three weeks ago. They needed this two weeks ago. They needed this against Fulham. They get their draw and they do have a chance to survive. They need help to survive, but they do get the draw. They need to make the last day matter.
I will go quickly through the Everton game. They get the one one versus Wolves away from home. A 99th minute leveler from Jerry Mina. I was watching this. What an amazing scrap of death. Dices boys do pull it out versus the great and powerful Wolves, who didn't have to work this hard to do it, but they did. Daniel Bentley in goal for Wolves. I don't know what happened to Jose Sop. He doesn't, he's not able to scrap over the line. And the great and powerful Jerry Mina, he of many, many, many campaigns for Everton, in the middle of everything, he loves the club. You can tell from him He's just a passionate guy and that sets up a relegation battle that looks like this Okay, here's where we are.
Let me just get it all the permutations right before I start getting into it. Okay, Nottingham, forest, with their win, are safe. They are on 37. What did your friend Lee, uncle Larry, say? Nine wins. How many wins does Nottingham have? Forest have nine. What do you know?
Everton on 33, it is in their hands. If they win, they are safe period Lester. If they win, they're on 34. If you'd if? if leads win, they are on 34. However, they both need. If Everton only draws and Lester loses, everton are safe. If Everton draws and Lester wins, everton go down and Lester are safe. If leads wins, they need Everton to lose and Lester to draw or lose because leads have goal difference. They lose on goal difference to both. So leads needs both Everton. They need leads needs Everton to lose and Lester to lose or draw and they need to win. Everton needs to win outright and Lester needs Everton to lose or draw and they need to win. I don't know if that worked out right, but Sunday will be an epic battle.
Everton do face Bournemouth at home. You'd expect them to pull that out. Bournemouth, statistically, are still the worst performing team in the league by XG and XG against and all that stuff I do actually I'm gonna double check that just to make sure I've got that right. So the underlying numbers and quality, bournemouth is the worst team in the league, along with Nottingham Forest and Southampton. So this was one of those seasons where the XG gods were not kind Lester, middle of the table, lower middle, along with leads, who had good attacking moments but were unable to score the goals that they actually generated, which is what hurt them throughout. Actually, they gave up. What is it? Let me see leads. Oh right, leads gave up way more than you would expected them to. I was looking at full on there. So a good season.
Need those permutations to go their way ever to know the only one who have everything in their hands. If they win, they're in. If they draw, they need Lester to draw or lose. If Lester win, then they win on goal difference, cause they have the best goal difference of the three. Very, very strange On the way down, that's the relegation battle On the European front. Nottingham Forest, Nottingham, newcastle United secure their European future on a trip to the Champions League. I'm super happy for them. They deserved it. They played hard all year. They're one of the stories of the season and their draw solidifies them. Liverpool cannot catch them now. They are safe in Europe. United are looking for that last spot. They need one point from two games. So it looks very much like it will be Arsenal, newcastle United and Manchester United joining Manchester City in the Champions League as England's representatives, with Liverpool likely to be the Europa League's plot And right now Brighton sitting in a European spot with Aston Villa right behind them, spurs complete and utter disaster, losing again to Brentford.
But I do want to talk about Newcastle United. What an incredible performance by them. Yes, they get the nil-nil. They should have beat Leicester. They hit the post. Bruno Gemmerich, literally you should go watch this on video. He literally is head, is in the goal and somehow heads the ball off the post and away from goal. It's the worst miss I've ever seen. So they really should have beaten Leicester. Leicester are lucky, but football gods were in their favor. So Newcastle did put in a good performance, but they do get a nil-nil. That's something they're going to face later on as teams sit deep against them. They're going to have to learn how to break those teams down. But they get a chance to be in Europe. They will face Barcelona, they will face Napoli, they will face all the friends and all the teams that have been our European friends in the Champions League, and I couldn't be happier for them.
But one of the things that I did get frustrated with, as I talked about in the open with Man United, was the coverage of how Newcastle were treated as an achievement, without any mention of money, without any mention of human rights abuses, without any mention of sportwashing, whereas city is immediately about money. And I was really fucking pissed off about it, about the treatment of city when you compare it to Newcastle United. They have just as evil a regime in charge of their club versus city. But the narrative for United is that they deserve it. They're allowed to have joy because of the suffering they went through with Mike Ashley. Okay, i mean, i don't begrudge Newcastle fans. I'm just sort of interested in the juxtaposition of the way that Newcastle's winning and they're making the Champions League is treated versus cities. I don't like it. I don't think it's fair. I don't like the narrative around my team when it's compared to Newcastle. Good for you, newcastle. The Jordies deserve it. They're a great club. I get it. But I just want to point out narrative changes between the way one club is covered versus another in similar situations.
The other one going up is Brighton. Brighton defeated Southampton. They have a game on Wednesday versus city. So where they finish in Europe actually they have two more games Where they finish in Europe is still up in the air, but they are guaranteed Europe. They will either be in the Europa League or the conference league And for Brighton, for the first time in their history to be playing in Europe, is as big as Leicester City. This is a small team, small team. They were playing in a dilapidated racetrack Dean's court, dean's lane, something like that And we're almost bankrupt in 2010. Tony Bloom rescues the team And as much as we all talk about Brighton I mean Brighton is everyone's favorite second team But just to give you a sense of how much this team did in terms of their offensive thing and what they've done with Deserby, just to give you a sense, brighton are the fourth highest scoring team in the Premier League.
They're ahead of Newcastle, tottenham, Manchester United, chelsea. Chelsea are one of the worst scoring teams. They've ever had. Their fourth from bottom early fallen, outscored Chelsea $600 million. So Brighton 70 goals. They took the most shots on target in the Premier League. That is unheard of for a team the size of Brighton to take that many shots. It's just something that doesn't happen, an incredible achievement for Deserby. Just to give you a sense of shots on target, brighton are number one city Liverpool, man United, arsenal, tottenham, newcastle. These are the best teams in football and there is Brighton Number one in shots on target in the Premier League.
Insane, an incredible offense, and it's why pundits talk about it. It's why I talk about it. I cannot wait to see what Brighton do with their team. We can assume McAllister will go. He's probably gonna go to Liverpool. We can assume Quesado is gonna go. He may go to Arsenal. He basically said he was gonna go to Arsenal and then had to retract it, so Quesado will go. Estupanyan might be the best left back in the Premier League, taking the title from Andy Robertson. What an incredible group. I cannot wait to watch them in Europe.
Another one the number one leader in completed passes this season for all players in the Premier League is Lewis Dunk. I've been talking about Lewis Dunk for five years. Just what a good defender he was, but now he's actually the best passing player in the fucking division. It's unreal what has happened with Brighton And if you haven't watched them, please go back and watch them. The Everton result was the craziest thing ever because we couldn't believe it, but in terms of a club and a players that just did something amazing. Brighton and Hove and Albion are going to Europe. It's an insane, insane thing that happened Brighton and Hove, albion in Europe. And I was right, lewis Dunk attempted the most passes in the Premier League, ahead of Roderick Trent, alexander Arnold, kirin Truppier and Virgil van Dijk. That's not supposed to happen. Just an amazing and amazing thing. And he also led in total distance by 5,000 yards. I mean just incredible. Like what Lewis Dunk did this season is out of control. You can't even imagine that this defender did what he did. Just an amazing player worth looking back again, worth checking on. Just what a fucking player, what a team. Can't wait to see what they do. I hope City beat them on Wednesday, but I just wanted to give a lot of props to the great and powerful.
Brighton Have a little bit of odds and ends on players that we want to discuss, not going to go into every game, but I do want to touch on. Tottenham lost to Brentford 3-1. They still are just dropping like a stone. Since February. It just seems 100 years ago that they were in the Champions League spots When Conte had his rant. They were still had a decent shout and the team collapsed after that, essentially.
But they do have a potential coach in mind, arne Slott, who is the coach of PSV Eindhoven, who just won the Aira de Vise. He did. He had been there for a few years. The classic Dutch 2 Premier League well-roven path is going well and we'll see where they get to. Where is that team? I'm trying to find them. Let me see if I can find PSV, just to see, just to make sure I've got this right. Yes, i believe PSV won their league going away. Oh, no, they're second. I got the wrong team. It's not PSV, it is. Is it Fineward? Is he the coach there? I think it's Fineward. Psv is the other club. Oh, my God, i got it wrong. Anyway, i'll get it right in a minute. But yeah, they do win their division and I believe that he is now the coach of that team. I don't know much about him just yet, but if you've won the Dutch league with someone that's not IAX and not right, that's someone that's not IAX and not PSV, and you've won with Fineward, that's a big deal. So good for him.
Had a great season up online for the Tottenham job because they need it. They are coachless, they are rudderless. If they play another game with Mason, with Ryan Mason, it's too many. They've got to get out and get that team moving and really grow this team, because Harry Kane is gonna leave and he scored 28 goals in a team that is eighth in a Premier League, what he's done with Spurs. He's now had 25 goal seasons on Spurs.
I think if Harry Kane was not on Spurs they would be in a relegation battle. He's that important to them. He's all their creativity, he's all their goals. There's no one else. This season He did it alone because, if you think about it, there was no sun this time. And, like I said, and I said it before, the defense for Spurs is relegation defense. They are. Spurs defense is sixth worst in the division, right behind in between Everton and Lester City. That's how many goals they shipped. Now, to be fair, they did score 66, which is nice for them, but what a terrible season they've had without Harry Kane.
I think that you know I'm sort of singing up the the Mike Salerno tree of like he's got to get out of there. It's time, my friend, you have to go. Spurs is bringing you down right. It was one thing when he was playing you down right. It was one thing when he was lifting them up, but now he can't even lift them up. Now it's only him being brought down by this broken club that he insists on staying at. As much as it's great and cool and all these things. He's a real finisher. He's, he's, he's a plus five expected goals every season, which is incredible. That you can rely that a reliable expected goals plus player is just incredible. That's what makes him a great striker. And he's more than a great striker. He needs to leave Spurs. I will be sad that he leaves Spurs If he goes to United. Please just go to the Bundesliga, win your trophy, wear that red, see what you can do when the Champions League. Enjoy it.
These are not quite the goodbye yet for Spurs, but in the department of people leaving, declan Rice had probably his last game for West Ham. He is going to go to Arsenal is the rumor on the street. So he will play this European Conference League final as a West Ham player and he'll be remembered as one of the greats. I don't think they'll begrudge him. It'll be cool to see him. And we also say goodbye to Bobby Firmino. His time at Liverpool has ended. We say goodbye to James Milner, who will be joining the great and powerful Brighton on a free.
So a lot of players moving, a lot of changes going on, players moving on, and we get into the summer season, where things get nuts. This time next week we will know who has been relegated, who has stayed up, who has gone down, who's in the top four. We really only have the relegation battle You left. United need one point to solidify, one point from their next two to solidify their spot. Aston Villa have a shot at Europe, but they need things to go their way. So it looks like Liverpool and Brighton will be representing the English League in the Europa League.
Spurs need to name a coach and City are three time champions with a chance at immortality. Two weeks from now, they will play in the FA Cup versus Manchester United. It will be Manchester United's opportunity to protect their own immortality and history while defending United's legacy. It's their time to try and stop them. And then, a week after that, june 10th, inter versus Manchester City for the Champions League final, one of the biggest games, if not the biggest game in cities. History could be on for a trouble, which would be the most amazing thing that could happen. A chance at history. A moment to etch your name into the annals of European football glory. A moment to put an exclamation point on the city project. A moment for Pep Guardiola to win his first Champions League without Lionel Messi to win his third, to be there with Ancelotti And just so much legacy on the line.
Hopefully, all we won't talk about is cities, millions and all the negative things and we can celebrate football. It will be in Istanbul where magical things have happened, especially if you're a Liverpool fan. But an amazing season and I'm tired. I've given you all I can give. I hope everyone's appreciated And I'm thankful that you all came on the journey with me And I thank Mike for taking me halfway. I'm pretty sure we'll do Supervivalatives, we'll do Players of the Year, we'll do Best 11s, we'll do all those things and I'll try and have Mike on to do it together. Okay, that was the Squeaky Bum Time podcast. My name is Laurent Courtines. We are the football wing of the Chop Sports Channel, presented exclusively by the Premier Streaming Network. We've recorded all season on Mondays and Thursdays, so be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode. And if you're listening on Apple or anywhere, please rate and review the show. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed this season.