Original thoughts are hard to come by. I feel like an NPC sometimes.

I have thoughts, but they are fleeting. A sentence, that could become something but then they leave me.

My favorite sport team, Manchester City, is on a six-game winless run. They just blew a 3-goal lead to earn a pathetic draw. It doesn’t real bother me.

Sport fandom has is a cycle. I realized I have followed the English Premier League as long as I followed baseball seriously. And they are both fading.

I think 15 years of active sport following is about as long as you need and then it goes.

Maybe I’ll just go back to the NFL or NHL.

I will admit, sometimes I want to a version of some nostalgic vision of the world I remember. Record stores and pay phones were common. People often hid their true selves. White people dominated TV screens. Suburban dads were portrayed as morons. Cops made up crimes during integration. You know? The good old days. It was all a lie, but we mostly all believed it.

Would be great to live in the lie again. Or is it a myth? Or is a myth a lie we all believe?

I wish I was dumb. I wish I could be a garbage man. I wish I did a blue collar job for the City. But I didn’t. So now? I have to play the game to get a job. Do the dance and trying make something out of nothing.