In Episode #137 of the Squeaky Bum Time Podcast, Mike and Laurent roll through the latest Premier League fixtures as we wade into yet another international break:
- Chelsea batter Tottenham for the fourth time this season
- Manchester United bag a last-second winner thanks to Marcus Rashford to leapfrom West Ham into the Champions League places
- We say goodbye to Claudio Ranieri, who was fired by Watford after a 3-0 loss to Norwich City
- Manchester City drop points against Southampton, but the title race really isn’t on
Follow us on Twitter (@SqueakyBum_Pod), Instagram (@SqueakyBumTimePod) and Facebook (Squeaky Bum Time Podcast) to stay up to date!
Part of the Chop Sports Media Network!
Transcript
hello and welcome to the squeaky bum
time podcast with michael laurent it is
tuesday
january 25th in this episode liverpool
win the week
ranieri says bye bye
united pull one out again but first mike
i have a stat for you
spurs
are winless in their last seven against
chelsea with only one goal
what do spurs need to do to get off the
schneid with these [ __ ] blues
punch them in the face
uh very early in the second half of that
game i went well i guess it's time to
root for injuries i literally wanted a
battle of the bridge like eric dyer
studs up into somebody's [ __ ] knee uh
it was miserable it was miserable
if there was
uh a target it would have been thiago
silva because of that chintzy [ __ ]
foul and then of course of course he's
johnny on the spot and he scores
um
yeah no i wanted to physically harm
chelsea players fans personnel anybody
that anybody can get their hands on does
he act
like good but i thought
why didn't anyone push out to him yeah
he did exactly what he should have done
and that was magic but yeah i mean he's
a little super duper high quality player
who's really good at crosses if you let
him sit there
see him in the corner
measure it and be like you know what i
think i got this without running out to
him yeah but fair play to fair play to
chelsea listen we know this from all the
other games
they're just better than spurs right now
and i wonder there's a hint of kante
[ __ ] things up on purpose i don't
know if he's that diabolical
he's on the payroll still i said that
about david louise when he went to
arsenal you know i said he was still on
the chelsea payroll and he's a break
them from within but you you haven't had
any transfers no one's gone in or out so
you're just gonna
go january
25th right all i hear about is treyarch
will he or won't he will he or won't he
what does he do for you
really really guys
is that the answer now listen
the the argument in the summer transfer
window
was bringing triori bring him let him
burn down the right side
that's a little too many wolves wingers
for me
right you're you're wrong because
well you're buying a wolves winger to
replace
a wolves winger on the right with matt
doherty right who by the way
seems to be having at least this much of
a little renaissance there but i could
hear the spurs fans singing try ore try
orei running down the wings
i mean sure and what happened with hill
his hair
he's too much head not enough too much
hair
look you know
who are you gonna take out of the lineup
for him right now nobody yeah you know
and and he's a guy that i would happily
send back out on loan he's by the way
he's like 20 21 years old same thing
with sesame on who i thought played
pretty okay yeah he had nominated the
liverpool game he was incredible he
he ate salah's lunch so you've got
chelsea chelsea's narrative is they're
off to schneider and then the on the
other side it's oh how bad are tottenham
i don't think any of those things are
true i kind of think that chelsea are
where they are yeah there's that class
that we've been talking about chelsea
are clearly better and you could say
they're either playing exactly at their
level i think earlier in the season they
were above their level and now they're
back at their
they've just got a win because they had
some
luck with shots i mean zeke shot is from
another planet like that was an
avoidable goal in my opinion that if you
just run out he can't do that look both
goals happened before the 55th minute if
you look at the game in the first half
spurs were happy to be where they were
at halfway they were probably the better
side to be where they were you and i
talked about it there was a plan it was
like we're gonna muck this thing up
and because they can't create anything
because they don't seem to have a system
to do so and at the 68th minute we're
going to bring on maura and we're going
to see if we can hit this game oh
absolutely
and it was working and they scored a
goal that was called off
incorrectly
um which changes everything if you're
chasing the game yeah at if you're if
you're chelsea chasing that game at home
that changes everything um i mean seemed
to find a way to get two codes seemed to
find a way to get space for ziak but
whatever the thing about zeke wasn't
even so much that they found space i
think actually finding space was the was
probably the exact way to put it because
he just [ __ ] found it there
right it wasn't like anybody was like
coming up with this diabolical plan to
be like all right we're going to get him
you know we're going to run this
direction over either that or we're not
bright enough to snow all the tactical
without question that's the case but but
yeah i mean you know it's a very classic
case of they are who we thought they
were on both sides i i do want to go on
to my team so city uh narrative changing
is there a title race no
uh city drew against southampton for
some reason city have a problem with
southampton southampton have taken
have forced city to drop four points
and they they're running they're a 95
point team it's like what the [ __ ] now
first half they were really good uh your
boy
uh
walker peters scores a worldly and city
are okay but they're just they have
these moments every once in a while
they're disjointed they're not right and
i thought that there was a lot of fight
in this game
uh southampton are the weirdest team
they can be like
this team is incredible how are they not
top seven and then they play games like
they played against arsenal where they
just get annihilated so their defensive
consistency is weird salisu is the
defender that spurs should buy and this
is the moment this is the player that
you buy
when you believe you're there so
if spurs were 10 points higher and they
were just pushing selisu is your van
dyke your diaz's those players that
you're just like
you take it out you put it on the table
and you go
here's my 75 million please let me have
your player everyone says 75 million
and you have him you go oh yeah 75
million for lisa that made sense because
he was that good
extreme he was in the second half and
southampton do have a record i don't
know what they do down there is it
playing is it whatever they do have a
record of developing
key players maybe the whole squad isn't
great but you go and you look and you go
i like
that guy and that guy ends up being
really [ __ ] good be it van dyke be it
monet be it lallana even though he was
okay for liverpool but he had the talent
but he was a key piece to the bridge to
where they were going to go because he
if you remember the first cop game it
was lallana who showed the way of how to
clop sure
and they he always loved him he always
was kind to him so there's guys like
that that are on that team that doesn't
always work because there are
southampton guys who suck like ricky
lambert but the lesson
i think hoyt beer has been i know has
been really really good for you i think
it's a matter of balance he's been he's
well he cost three million and kyle
walker peters um
here's the thing fine if you had [ __ ]
declan rice next to him he'd be the best
midfielder you've ever seen yeah but he
needs to do more than he's capable of
anyway i get that so second half city
city huffed and puffed they put lots of
shots on target they did what they do
and i thought the draw was fair there
were
15 to 20 minutes there in the second
half where arlo wright literally said
this is fantasy football what do you do
when this happens to you so it's those
moments when city goes up a gear you
expect a goal they can do it for 10 15
20 minutes and if they don't get that
goal you're
very likely to hang in uh the city
faithful we're looking for red cards uh
america laporte did get his leg cut open
by
and that was right after a penalty shout
that i thought they should have gotten
said the guy who took them at halftime
and uh and it was that and then kevin de
bruyne was
all he was so good he but he just he
just missed he just hit the post
but he was unbelievable but he was
firing laser beams oh no i know in the
88th minute
a ball that you would expect to curl
inside the far post yes that kind of
slices and goes wide and
that was sort of
for me that was indicative of the entire
day from manchester city where i mean
they were just unable to really have
that just extra bit of class that they
usually do have yeah and the change that
made a difference was sometimes raheem
doesn't have it and jesus came on and he
brings
some fight he brings he's weirdly the
englishness player he's like that chase
lost cause go after it make it happen
and listen i'm gonna give all points to
southampton city we're lucky there were
some breaks broyjah had one where he he
missed adams was on goal there was a lot
of water
yes easily easily yeah
yeah um i think i think about these
things are really good jesus does that
because
as we've talked about ad nauseam that
that city don't have that striker even
though they have jesus sitting there
pep is so stubborn that he's like no no
you're gonna fight for your place and
you're gonna do all the things that i
want you to do as a winger as a you know
a potential like false nine as all these
other positional pieces on the field so
that he could have him in different
places he kind of brought him on the
wing he didn't put him up front at least
at least right away so
um yeah i i thought he was i thought
they were fine i thought city were fine
i thought you know it's one of these
days at the office i don't think this
opens up the [ __ ] title race no i
mean i do think that if
liverpool wins out they have to win out
they the big game is the
city basically give themselves a buffer
they can lose the liverpool and it's
okay i don't want them to but they could
it will make it it will make it out and
that's the title fight right because i
see
i see city dropping
well six points
because liverpool have a game in hand
i see i could see city dropping six
points between now and the end and they
could lose to liverpool and i want to go
to the palace game in a minute because i
think but will but will will liverpool
win out in the last 15 games of the
season
uh 16. it can be listen they can do it i
don't think they will do it i don't
think i can do it i know see i i don't
think they can uh
well because
they were full strength
i got that
they weren't hurting for offense so
we'll get to that in a sec but they were
really they
they had their horses
and they were getting cut up left and
right and if not for alice in this
scheme
we probably don't even get to the
controversial penalty shot at the end
well let's be fair though in the first
half
liverpool played
like
a champions league night
at anfield in selhurst park they went
there and they just not easy [ __ ]
crystal palace up yeah and alex j
chamberlain was in the salah spot and he
played as well as salah does so it's not
a matter like he had a good finish and
and brought the and and made the pass
for the second goal as well so i thought
that they were really good i do
i do think
i didn't do the scores but that's okay
we went we're doing it a different way i
forgot we forgot to do the scores that's
okay i'm all over the place um yeah uh
we we can get through the scores in a
minute after i talk about this liverpool
game i do think that there is a weakness
in van dijk that is there i don't think
he's as pacey as he was we know
that trent alexander arnold as much as
all liverpool's fans like to say is the
best defender in the whole world blah
blah blah yes he is an incredible
attacker and he was there for the goal
he put it right
he put it right on
oh it was robertson this time ironically
it was no trend alexander on our goals
this time it was robertson being [ __ ]
amazing
but uh the van dyke goal was good and i
couldn't leave virgil van dyke
not it wasn't even unmarked it was un
challenging accounted for all
there was a little bit of a pick
so yeah so the midfield without when
when when liverpool don't play milner
and henderson together they're fine so
curtis jones was really good made a
difference he's a really good player and
it was firmino and jyota so it was
basically their front three but jota was
in the monet position and
oxlade-chamberlain in the in the salah
position now the first i actually said
first half incredible this was the
liverpool where you're just like if
they're gonna play like this no one's
beating them because this is
this is this is liverpool this is
anfield i'm petrified
whatever
uh was said or whatever changes were
made
in the second half
or whatever levels happened or the goal
happens
for uh edison eduard second half was all
palace and really liverpool
hung on in the end even though palace
only had eight shots five of them were
on target so you know they were on the
break they were prowling and my guy one
of my uh um championship sons mr elysse
just
already laurent follow his players i
know with what i discuss he's
really [ __ ] good and he was bossing
that game and they could have won this
game well you talked you talked about it
a little bit um you know
how impressive it was for liverpool to
play like that
early at selhurst park now i think the
pick and the goal from vent i kind of
took a little bit of the wind out of it
but at half time that place came alive
but to show that much fight to be down
two goals and getting annihilated sure
no absolutely absolutely they were good
i think
i think that's a credit a credit to
vieira i think it's a credit to selhurst
park because it is a [ __ ] miserable
place to play you can have them pinned
to the mat for 45 minutes and the game
is very far from over uh and and as we
saw i mean
allison is the difference in one point
or three right forget the penalty forget
it for a second yeah yeah yeah
listen he made four saves
and the expected goals the post-shot
expected goals from no saves was three
yeah that's all so that's
so really like the save value of his
saves was three goals yeah
that's a big big [ __ ] difference like
those are quality point blank no [ __ ]
around saves he has incredible footwork
on um i guess it's i guess what's the
guy's name who plays your palace he's a
new guy mateta jean-philippe matetta
goes around him goes around them and
he's got the feet to not get beat he
moves his feet and throws himself on the
ground it was versus the shot wide it
was like an american football like
practice drill with like the defense he
was like a cornerback just kind of
shuffling to the left and he got a piece
on it and it was it was awesome he's six
foot three and like bulky
oh no i i'm not yeah of course but like
so a great game and we had called this
game out uh as a game to watch so
christopher did our guest from last week
oh well i did i was like this palace
game is good now i will go to the scores
we're doing a little bit of weird here
we go uh everton nil aston villa won
uh gerard shithousing the everton fans
was fantastic but everton do not get the
bounce they want he was goading them he
stuck his tongue out at him he told them
to [ __ ] off gerard god you know what
what a manager i know that he's he's
aston villa's manager and he won't be
spurs manager but he would have been a
fun spurs manager brentford won wolves
two wolves moving along your friends and
my friends at wolves the second best
defense in the league gets another win
on the road against brentford brentford
did pull this game level but then wolves
put the hammer down on a late goal by
ruben nevis ivan tony with the haircut
off the goal schneider maybe he'll score
10 in the back half of the season i'd
settle for eight
the best the second best defense in the
league is starting to score goals watch
wolves
they do score now they do need to keep
that unexpected goal defense from
united
oh squeeze out a squeaky bum time winner
you cheer when you hear the the word
squeaky bum time against west ham west
ham were for the fight this was a good
nil nil west ham were denying uh united
everything i thought united were
actually quite good it was a fun game to
watch i did watch most of it uh a lot
they started the same group again
fred mctominay alanga
mason greenwood but it is kavani
and
it's marshall cavani and rashford who
all come on late in the game at the 82nd
minute that made the difference this is
the difference of why united will finish
in the top four versus west ham united
can bring on cavani martial and rashford
when you're done
somebody
on like a podcast or something been
repeatedly saying that for i don't know
the last six weeks yes
this is the difference this is literally
illustrated the difference manchester
united versus west ham versus tottenham
and and sure [ __ ] arsenal
this is why it is a one horse race for
this [ __ ] last spot it really is the
fact that they weren't weren't in it and
now they are was a testament to how bad
they were but again
week after week after week after week no
one can talk enough declan rice is
[ __ ] incredible
when he leaves who he goes to i hope
it's not united i hope it's not chelsea
go somewhere else become a legend
somewhere else go to europe become that
english player because he's so [ __ ]
good he controls this team he makes them
go last week it was in an offensive
manner dragging them forward against
leeds even though they got the loss
today it was dragging them together
binding the defense together making sure
no one got at the back four he is just
[ __ ] incredible a giant of a man just
23 years old declan rice whatever team
you go to is gonna be uh favorite for
the title unless their rivals sign eve
basuma who's just as good but don't tell
anybody it should be united
it should be united keep going with the
scores then we'll get back into right it
should be united uh then we got our one
one lester man city we already talked
about it brighton 1-1 vs lester the
comeback kids again brighton pulling
this [ __ ] out danny welbeck in
the 82nd minute [ __ ] legend uh pat's
and that dhatka our friend and yours
does score another goal i think we're
seeing the end of jamie vardy or at
least the rise of pats and daca what a
[ __ ] good finisher he is he's now
scored i think in three of the last four
games and lester did have the xg battle
this was a game where lester really were
battering
uh brighton in the first half brighton
did not have any of their coaching staff
they were the on their third string
coach kovit kovetkovic grabs a hold of
potter there's some fat guy with a cool
haircut sitting on the sidelines that
looked like me as the coach he was
moving his hands around but i don't
think anything was happening but
again
brighton are developing players we've
got alzate we've got motor they actually
brighton weirdly have players to bring
on they take off gross and bring on
lampd they take off alzate and bring on
danny welbeck and they are deciding [ __ ]
you we're going to get this game the
problem was for spur for lester they
tried to defend this game and they can't
defend barnes comes off for all brighton
samari comes on for lookman and it's
done once they decide they're gonna
defend this one goal lead they are
finished and it's brighton all the way
and they get the draw again they now
have 13 draws
eek
but they still are in
ninth place ahead of leicester yeah by
four points um that was a lot on that
one nil nil burnley arsenal not great
arsenal not great this felt predictable
this felt predictable after the midweek
[ __ ] kicking i did not think that was
going to happen see i
i did because you had parte you had
jacka who may be addition by subtraction
you had basically me and you playing in
the midfield and it felt like there was
a people they didn't play any
midfielders right they only played the
one they had they played they played
sambi and just went with a what a four
one four one right but they just were
like [ __ ] it we're not even gonna have a
midfield right and i'm honestly
surprised that brentford uh that burnley
didn't hit them on the break but uh
there was no
there was no locksmith there was no
creativity for arsenal they did have a
couple of like like lacazette had a
chance or two but nothing this is this
is substance i think that this is the
problem with lacazette lacazette can be
there a be a good finisher and make you
think that he's got goals in him it's
the inconsistency he'll he'll be good
and carry you for a few weeks the issue
is once he when he loses his form or
loses his scoring mojo he starts to look
bad and he's gone he misses big shots
you're like you [ __ ] [ __ ] uh odegaard
did hit the post i mean arsenal had five
shots on target they won the xg battle
they had a lot of shots but this is what
burnley do they get results that you're
like well you're [ __ ] just not you're
terrible how did this happen
yeah this is what does it does it does
put them back into the schneider of like
all right it's daish i get it you're
gonna go do your dice thing you [ __ ]
sort of [ __ ]
yeah but uh i think arsenal this is a
youth game and i think they don't bother
and then yeah that was it we covered
palace and we covered chelsea those are
your scores what newcastle one leads nil
and i missed that's a big one oh there
it is that is a huge one there's
actually there's speaking of there's
actually one more uh which we have to
say goodbye to an old friend again
uh norwich
oh that was that was on friday that was
on friday norwich three watford nil uh
including a red card now after the game
claudio ranieri was
sort of sacked but not sacked but
they're finding a replacement he's not
sacked until he knew he's before zach
now and now he is officially sacked
uh as we sit here on tuesday talking to
you but uh
we did call that we we said if watford
has trouble
will they get rid of him so yeah so they
strike again their owners are merciless
it works for them i guess
i do want to talk more about newcastle
they're not going to get this super
defense they're not going to get this
thing they get lucky from shelby uh the
the expected goals is close
but you know leads to their dominating
thing it was pretty back and forth
the key thing for
uh for
newcastle is
can wood and trippier
create the space
so that
liver so that newcastle don't have to be
compact because it does not look like
they're going to get this defender to
change their lives they're still going
to be with the same group of of john joe
shelby and joe ellington and ryan fraser
and and say maxum man so i think
attacking they're fine but the key for
that attack is can it keep people oh
like can they win the field position
battle yeah if when they turn the ball
over it's far away they'll be fine what
the reason why their defense is so bad
is they lose the ball in bad areas and
so uh you know it's that weak length
thing can they can they improve their
defense by improving their offense yeah
and so it is a three a big three points
for newcastle but massive a
but a massive three points for norwich
who now
sit
comfortably he said foolishly outside of
the bottom three if even for a few weeks
uh because we won't have any games for a
few weeks so enjoy it canaries you guys
as it stands are staying in the premier
league now but
what pulled into this thing is everton
which is scary
yeah yeah i mean i still feel like
what happened this weekend
was
the
[Music]
the gaps started to form right they
didn't break away
everybody's still right there but now
burnley is four points of drift and
again i i have to harp on it still still
four games in hand on nora two they're
chasing four points behind but
four points is starting to feel
like a lot
or a little bit again nor aren't you
getting two wins in a row that's what we
talked about you get to win in the
relegation fight three wins in a row
you're gone you're safe
you're just you just disappear because
these guys these are teams where so one
of the things we talk about in the top
five draws our losses in the bottom they
are gold right and it's weird because
burnley get a good draw against arsenal
away that's a great draw for them that's
great
they they well they make up ground on
watford but they lose ground on norwich
and newcastle you gotta be sitting there
like [ __ ] come on yeah they just they
gotta look at their schedule and be like
where are our four wins gonna come from
right because that's really what we're
talking about we're talking about four
wins they've got watford they got to win
that game yeah they've got then they
have united and liverpool that they
shouldn't expect to get anything then
they have brighton away
i would target that as give me a [ __ ]
draw there that gives them four then
we've got
palace away no
maybe you play for a draw there you try
and hang on brentford you look at
brentford away and say we're gonna take
something from them then they've got
norwich they've got points on the board
to grab they don't have the toughest
schedule and then they got watford twice
so their goal in there they've got to
take both of those games if you can take
four points out of that you're gonna
feel great um
but no i think
we
said this before there are in any
premier league season three races right
there's the title race top four race and
the relegation race and usually
in every season one of them is really
good you're not gonna know which one and
you very rarely get two good ones you
don't ever get three you never get three
[Laughter]
man city liverpool is is the title race
and chelsea's sure fine whatever uh
that's not great the topic the top four
race is legit is close but i wouldn't
say it's good right uh it's close it's
gonna go down right the only the only
right go ahead sorry it's gonna keep
going for the length of the season but
the best part about the relegation
battle that we have on our hands
currently which is past the halfway
point of the season
is that everybody is at risk in four
spots and maybe everton i'm not ready to
say that yet they are getting stuck
teams down there they're they're way too
good to get relegated i mean of course
like no it should never ever happen god
bless them if they don't but like oh man
i hope they don't but oh my god
would roger bennett die
oh that would be that would be a tough
day for the raj but but there are four
teams and we talked about it before but
usually at this point in fact we said it
no less than two weeks ago that norwich
are floating in the water they're dead
right
they're going down now like i said
they're currently with their heads above
that water so um i it's gonna be fun
it's gonna be really fun and the thing
is that you can't yeah sorry one side
you can't necessarily discount the
the relegation races because it's it's
lesser football
do not
foolishly look at it like that look at
it as literally a war of attrition and a
fight for survival because that's
exactly how these teams approach it
that's exactly how these teams fans
approach it so if you can buy in to the
win or literally feel like you're gonna
die attitude
from norwich newcastle watford and
burnley and their supporters we're in
for a hell of a second half yeah
the bottom of the table yeah like we
said i think burnley are the best
equipped for the fight
uh norwich
are not
newcastle are
probably at the end of this transfer
window probably be the most talented and
then watford we don't know they're kind
of adrift at this point any idea
a vote for burnley is a vote for daish
and experience because that team is not
as good
as i think newcastle's the strongest of
the four
but i mean their defense is a little bit
weak i'm not sure i actually i mean the
team the players i love i like i love
say maximum i can't like deal with say
maximum he makes me but okay well i
would because he's going up the table
then
yeah
yeah he feels something he feels he
feels very spursy to me
i wouldn't hate it but i just i don't oh
oh your friend in mind i believe that
christian eriksen has indeed as of this
moment an hour signed a contract with
brentford excellent
he has the passive miracle uh which is
not is not an insignificant task for him
hopefully he's not like getting coveted
shots because
i'm playing so much
uh my guy my guys in in in uh bret
bright
brighton are starting to slip into like
a a one person mid table where they're
safely in ninth uh but they can't really
catch wolves if they could just turn
last year i said the same thing if they
could just turn half of those goddamn um
draws into into wins uh it would be
they'd be in the top four race then i
know it's just [ __ ] i think they're
happy with where they are and i think
some of the results that they've gotten
have been last-minute stolen equalizers
so i don't know if it is necessary to
say i know that they're gonna put more
wins on the board right i think they're
i think they're right where they belong
i think brighton
wolves brighten leicester city and aston
villa going from eight to eleven if i
told you that in august you'd be like
yep yeah it makes a lot of sense well we
inhabited and you could have said those
in yeah you could have said those in any
order and yeah that makes sense i do i
do think that i do think like if we take
a step back and sort of assess we have a
little bit of a break in the season
going into fa cup internationals i do
think that this is a
this is a really good premier league
like i don't maybe the bottom is weak
but there aren't teams that you go
that team is abject and has no right to
be here right
maybe maybe at times norwich is you know
at times everton feels like they're
adrift at times leads certainly does
right but they but they but then they
find a fight they find a result against
against west ham but all these teams
like the thing that i think about that i
think is unfair often is something that
guardiola says and i think clap to a
lecture extent is
those city and liverpool and chelsea
win games
because
they are maniacal
about respecting their opponents
and when they drop their levels a little
they get got
right
city played not well for 45 minutes and
southampton got a point off them so the
reason that the good teams win is not
because
the good teams win not because they're
thousands of times more talented it's
because they ris
if there is talent in saying this is not
an easy game every single game we have
to do our thing and without fail we go
after you that's why they don't lose and
i think that's the difference between
united and chelsea and liverpool like we
said united don't have that mentality
they don't have the because i do i still
i believe this till the end when pep
guardiola leaves city when liverpool
leaves liverpool
club they're not gonna clop leap sorry
klopp leaves there when did i say
liverpool leaves liverpool when the club
leaves liverpool
they're not gonna find those levels
again they're to go back to
80 to 85 point teams where oh we're
clearly more talented and maybe an
ancelotti type comes in who can you know
oh he's fun he he picks the same 11 and
less than play with with the way klopp
and and pep are we're seeing a level of
coaching that does not accept down
performances and if there are there's a
short period where they have to figure
it out maybe three games four games and
then they're like we're doing something
else and we're gonna [ __ ] you up because
i refuse to lose i respect all like it's
a respect thing about the other teams in
the division right if you go to palace
and you go at 98 percent they and
they're at 100 you'll lose yeah
right that that top teams are at 100
all the time and when they do lose
points it's because they didn't give
enough like i feel like i'm not being
funny about tottenham i feel like
tottenham give effort they're just not
as good well they're like the anchorman
line right there they're 60 of the time
every time
um that's exactly how i would
characterize spurs and right and then i
think and i think about just one more
point like i think about west ham
west ham
the other teams if you're below west ham
you should always go
man if we only worked as hard as west
ham
right yes right like that now they are
talented but yeah but then you do and
you pull the leads right so for me
they're very similar i think obviously
spurs have more talent on the field than
west ham but i think west ham have that
that togetherness that cohesion far more
than spurs do um and that's why they're
basically a point while they're a point
separated but you know a couple games
that have spurs
have and and we don't do this in the
premier league the way you do with
basketball and where you have rankings
they have a top five player in the
league
that's not right
there's a there's a team that is a
mid-table team
that with a top five player right
right declan rice is a player
worthy of being in the manchester city
midfield worthy of having being the
captain of liverpool where he takes
henderson's spot if that happens i'm not
i think i think that's really the the
measure right like when you say that
this player is is an elite player from
you know the whether it be you don't
look at it in the context of the premier
league ever in england you go he's one
of the best in europe he's one of the
best in the world well we don't do it
for the premier league and we probably
should but you should but the measure is
does this guy walk into the city lineup
does this guy walk into the liverpool
lineup and to a lesser extent but still
true because of all that competition at
every position does he walk into the
chelsea lineup yeah and
guys like
declan rice without question on all
three of those teams you he walks into
all four of the teams ahead of him oh of
course harry kane absolutely yeah
outside of those two players
i'm hard pressed to find one to be quite
honest you know who
it's he won't
but he's gonna walk into one next year
conor gallagher
connor gallagher
conor gallagher
is exact he won't do it
is exactly who spurs needs and i mean
like no he would not die he would never
i know he would never because he's not
he's he thinks he's going to be frank
lampard
and he's going to go to chelsea and this
german technical guy
is not going to like him because he's he
goes he's too he's way too reckless he's
not a
a disciplined player he runs where he
wants he is
the
epitome of an english midfielder that
english fans love he's gerard he's
lampard yeah he's vieira he's he's keen
it's up and down go affect the game but
not stay in a block stay in your spot
attack when i say like if for a manager
he must drive you nuts because you're
like oh yeah where the [ __ ] are you
going okay great i'm glad you're there i
wouldn't use the word uncoachable but he
has a mind of his own out there yeah
right and he's not a great passer
but but what he does is he anticipates
extremely well yeah and so he knows
where the ball is going before it gets
there and that makes up for his lack of
it
he's english right so what he has is an
iq that's off the charts what he doesn't
have is the
the physical talent that's right off the
charts that's not to say he's not a good
player the point is like he wouldn't i
bet like
he wouldn't play over neves and moutinho
and wolves because they play a certain
way stylistically yeah right exactly but
um no could he play at arsenal you bet
your ass oh god
you know if i'm him if i'm him honestly
i stay
i just i'm just like i'm staying here
i'm gonna become a [ __ ] legend
well no he's i mean he's a chelsea
because he's only 20. he's a kid so he's
gonna go back and you know what maybe
they do sell them that would be foolish
but i hope they do um because i'm not
going to enjoy
i see the fire in his eyes when he plays
tottenham he [ __ ] hates tottenham he
is chelsea through and through
and i just yeah but
so is rice right
yeah like if if if if they buy if if
they buy if chelsea buy rice and then
bring back um [ __ ] gallagher
on loan i'm gonna stop watching we're
not gonna yeah we're gonna i'm gonna be
like this can't happen this is wrong we
cannot have this much englishness in one
place because they'll become so lovable
and you'll be like god damn [ __ ]
but i'm i'm so glad that tucle's there
because he won't it'll be too much wild
it'll be like two buck wild mustangs in
the midfield and he'd be like i can't
control them i don't have my austrian
horses that are prancing around in doing
these things i want them to do well what
i'll say is if those two players go to
chelsea that hopefully signals the end
of um georginio which i just i never
want to see him again i hate him and
it's not that he's not a talented player
i think he's fine just the penalty [ __ ]
and he's such a piece of [ __ ]
uh he just sits on the laurels he sits
on the shoulders of kante and acts like
he did anything aside from missiles
the thing is he does things
that
teams need someone to do and he does
them flawlessly he's basically a
metronome you hit it to him he pings it
to someone else boom boom boom boom and
that's nice when you have the ball and
things are moving around it's just it's
no it's nice when you have mount and
ziek and werner and lukaku and who else
am i missing right like could you ima
like on tottenham he'd be useless
yep right he would just you just like
watch him he'd be in donballet
no no he'd be worse than endamble
probably because he has no physicality
he'd just get run over yeah yeah he'd be
like
the [ __ ] version of harry winks speaking
of [ __ ] version of manchester uh let's
talk about them because they when we
talked about oh my god they may not lose
until march they have not done that run
very well this is well they've been okay
this is on they are only one losses i'm
pretty sure right correct this is the
leading to
norwich against united on december 11th
since then they've taken 14 of 21 points
they've drawn two and lost one the loss
was against wolves at home so it's not
awesome but it's not like a holy [ __ ]
[ __ ] right it's not a it's not a it's
not a yeah that is a
better coach that's an okay loss and uh
the the draws were against newcastle and
aston villa again mad not good
you cannot draw but on balance 14 out of
21 is not title challenging
but that's
that's two thirds
that's two-thirds of your points if i
look at where they are right now
they're what that's
that's about where they are right that's
that's not quite the level but it's
close now
the important thing to note is they're
uh their upcoming games still soft
burnley leads southampton watford
through february then it heats up like a
junky spoon you've got city spurs
atletico on both sides of this in the
champions league liverpool lester
everton
probably more champions league if you
get past atletico so you're not getting
past the lego fine but what i'm saying
is that from from march 5th really they
don't have they don't really have any
soft spots there's norwich
no no the point is that they do right
they they do until february 26th and
then it gets right no no no right right
aft once that city game kicks off that
from march to the end of the season it's
they have one soft game
and so this is where you look at the if
the cream truly will rise to the top
they will have a five to seven point
cushion going into that manchester city
game and you know as well as i do they
play city well every single time and
it's very possible if not likely that at
that point in the season city's not
going to give a [ __ ] about the league
because they're going to be running out
the clock and they're going to be more
focused on champions league march 3rd
there will be no game that city will not
come and try and beat the piss out of
[ __ ] manchester but they they don't
they never succeed in piss beating the
piss out of them
right they dominated they dominated them
at at
uh they it it weekend in in in in
november it was it was it was a look at
the xg it was 2.6 they kicked their ass
yeah all right
but i i'm not worried about that game
for city but uh i would say i don't i
i think it's i think that the thing that
i find interesting about the united
problem is
that the issue was that they were giving
up goals they would lose goals early
like in the weeks before ole got fired
four to leicester five to liverpool sure
two against city four to
to watford
i remember right four to watford and
then
they beat arsenal in a barn burner that
was a really good game then they start
locking things up they have bad
performances but wins against palace and
norwich which is what they're supposed
to do the draw is bad they beat burnley
they only give up a late goal but it's
that they've tightened up the defense
in lieu of their attacking prowess so i
think that rangnick is finding a way
that by the time maybe by the time this
end of the season comes in they'll
actually be a tighter outfit and what
looks like tough games now will be
probably a little bit easier for them
because they'll have been used to
playing on their rang nick and figuring
things out i mean they're not gonna fire
him i don't think they're gonna be much
better than they are
they're going to just muddle through
and live on
moments right
um
although that goal looked so offside the
fact that they didn't check they didn't
show the lines but i saw another photo
where it was really like you didn't even
have to but when i was watching and i
was like how do they not [ __ ] show
the lines it's gonna think everyone's a
conspiracy
oh god
so if they
and and this is a lot to ask if they go
12 of 12 against 12 points
against burnley southampton leads in
watford
they will be comfortably offensively
favored in each of those four matches
they'll from that stretch from 10 games
or 11 games i suppose
26 points out of 33.
okay that's a 70 it's 78. 78
of your points you know that you could
get jesus a lot of peace in a sense
right now they're on 58.
going to [ __ ] blow it against
southampton i promise you that they're
going to go to ellen road and get blown
out
i mean
even if you get that then on the 64
point percentage right
from from their entire season so they're
they're gonna have to punch above their
weight a little bit because
they're not gonna get to
after that they're gonna have to punch
at their own weight
every game there since so um
i'm curious if
i don't know how it's looked at
right because the the ebbs and flows and
the feeling of euphoria and dying as a
spur supporter i felt literally in the
span of four days all over england
do you really like we're looking at the
schedule months in advance do you really
look at it like that if you're if you're
an english supporter uh pundit or more
importantly in the back office are you
saying hey guys holy [ __ ] this end of
the season's a gauntlet we need to
buckle down and we need these are four
games that we win if we're manchester
united we [ __ ]
i think that they do do that
but i think they do have to look at per
game one game at a time i know that's
cliche the players need to do it that
way but strategically you should be
thinking about the campaign as a whole i
know in all or nothing mourinho had that
[ __ ] schedule up there and in the
back you can see the points that he's
checking off
yeah no
of course the management is doing it
right but what i'm saying is in this
moment
where you have
eight uh the players
the players can't do that no no no i'm
saying before they all [ __ ] off to go on
the internationals just ragnik grab the
team and go listen guys
go off do your things be safe all that
[ __ ] but understand that when we get
back there's a four game five game
stretch if you want to count the
middlesbrough [ __ ] fa cup there's a
five game stretch where we are going to
be manchester united we will worry about
the rest of it when we get there
yeah we need to put ourselves [ __ ]
win these games we need to put ourselves
in a position to be where we want to be
at the end of the year and if you don't
win these games i promise you you can
[ __ ] kiss that [ __ ] goodbye in march
right yeah we're not we're not going to
care about march 5th yeah but everybody
knows we're playing city that day i
don't know nobody's going to give a [ __ ]
unless we [ __ ] figure out i don't
know that you're going to do that
because what happens if you lose one how
do you change the narrative right you're
like oh we're [ __ ] do you know what i
mean well yeah that's why i'm not a
professional coach but like
but no i i think
uh i got to be out the mystery like
whatever you drop you get you get off
city you you say this is our team this
is [ __ ] manchester united we're going
to city we're winning this [ __ ] game
[ __ ] them sure sure but it's not it's
not to put a desired god into your
players about a
upcoming opponent it's to say listen we
know there are big games coming up but
what you have to understand is these
games are arguably even bigger yeah that
west ham game was huge they needed that
game that was only massive for them
they were in trouble it feels like
that could be the death now for west
ham's top four chances because yeah they
they gotta get out they need us they
need and it's so weird because until the
93rd and change minute
we thought they were getting one which
meant united were getting one so they
were going to be on a 38 36 advantage
even though they were giving a game away
to to united and no so now for them to
leapfrog them it's one point they have
uh west ham has goal difference
realistically of the the the next four
for the fourth place yeah the best one
they're they're the best goal difference
right now the problem is that they can't
string
they can't string five wins together
it's just not possible they're not good
enough right a team like leeds happens
uh a palace could take points off them
you know like it's just not it's not
really and as i look at their schedule
it's literally
every third game is like there's a trip
watford that's a win leicester city away
i don't know
west ham uh i'm sorry newcastle at home
that's a win wolves at home
liverpool away
west ham against aston villa spurs
hosting them everton you should win
brentford away
is that guaranteed burn i don't know
chelsea and arsenal in the same week
that's tough yeah norwich nobody george
okay great you're gonna get three from
norwich man city and brighton ten the
year jesus so it's literally it's like
yeah no they can't string three or five
together because it's frankly the
schedule is just not letting them right
so they don't have a two and a half
months soft spot manchester united so
well maybe they did early maybe they
banked the points earlier we went back
and looked at the schedule yeah that's
fair i could do that but but and
before we say much more about united's
schedule if you have a two and a half
month soft spot you're gonna have a six
week nightmare right so that's just how
it goes so i don't know
i i always feel like i think i'd rather
have the spread out rather than the the
soft patch and the gauntlet because you
can never predict injuries you can never
predict [ __ ] i think you just i think
just wanna just like the way city go
you just wanna go and go and keep
winning once you're winning
i wanna play again that's not realistic
for everybody [ __ ] else okay
[Laughter]
so i don't want to hear it but no i
think from a scheduling perspective i
think you you i just don't you do kind
of want it broken up especially i don't
know i just don't think i just i just
can't imagine
players thinking that way i think that
they're
in the positions that they are in in the
premier league in big sides because they
simply believe one that individually
they're the best player on the pitch two
that they're they're in the best team in
the world or else why would they have me
and then three we're beating every team
that we play they have to think that way
uh i don't know that they think every
team
you think when watford lines up at the
etihad they go oh we got him today right
but that's the problem they they should
think that way i think that the the
talent gap has gotten far enough that
it's frankly you're [ __ ] delusional
but you
but that's the thing you should be
delusional like if you're oh sure
if you're emanuel dennis you have to be
like i could play with that team
i'm scoring i'm not i'm not talking
about i'm talking about the weak link on
the weak team
yeah yeah like yeah like yeah the
premier league craig chris cathcart
who's the central defender is like
man
defenders just have to be petrified the
whole time and that's what i'm saying
they live off fear like just get the
[ __ ] ball away from me
just keep this thing [ __ ] come on
come on
like or like yelling at defenders come
you [ __ ] stand in front of me stand
in front of me
anyway let's wrap it up okie doke
that was the squeaky bum time podcast
with mike salerno and lauren corteans we
are the football wing of the chop sports
network we record on tuesdays and
fridays so be sure to subscribe wherever
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apple please rate and review the show
and i say
r.i.p to mr mike graves
sorry brother
your time's up
you have uh
your your your time has ended your your
watch has ended his watch has ended
