daily writing

Having a hard time

I’m unemployed – been so for 2.5 months. I’m scared and recently had a job that I was promised for months be pulled out from under me. Whether it was nefarious or just a miscalculation, it’s hurt and really flung me for a loop. Trust and confidence are very fragile things. In this instance, both have been damaged at once. I am thankful for Lisa and Aveline. They are the rock that keeps me from floating away into my brain.

It’s been the second time in a last few years that someone charismatic has played on my hopes and needs and pulled away. I must have a weakness for it and it hurts every time. I’m distrustful from years of living in New York City and I am trying to be a touch more trustful, but these events really harden my cynicism (poor Lisa) I don’t want to change too much, but not trusting people sucks.

I’m going to pick myself up off the deck and push on, but these are difficult things to do. I am having a hard time and wanted to say it out loud.

By Laurent Courtines

I'm here and I am ready to go. Been doing my homework and I have things to say.

2 replies on “Having a hard time”

So sorry, Laurent… us people are messy and messed up. I don’t trust anyone, least of all myself… but, I do choose to love people and give them the grace that I need as well for my messy. Love you cousin.

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